I cant trust anyone. The only person I can really trust to drive (Which is odd) is my dad.... I found myself getting stoned before I leave with someone. Even if its just like my mom. Im like afraid to death. On total edge the entire ride. If I get stoned, I can usually keep myself somewhat calm, but I always find myself keeping my hand on the 'oh shit' handle... Even if the driving is completly calm and legal. Well, this paranoia went a step higher last week. I was invovled in a traffic collison with a semi. I wasn't driving (or it wouldnt have happen) but one of my bosses was. It was a non-injury collison, thankfully. But the last thing I saw was a flat bed trailer coming at me, about head level. I thought 'oh shit, this is it' and thought about my gf, then we hit. luckly is was just a side swipe, with most damage to our vehicle. Still driveable tho..but long story short, Im even more paranoid now. Im worse now. Im smoking a freaking bowl before I walk out the door, if anyone but myself is driving... Its not that anyone I ride with drives bad.. but I just hate knowing I cant control the situation. Without the bowl, I find I cant really talk, I stay quite. Im constanstly looking in every direction.. pressing my feet againt the floorboard constantly, as if to 'brace' for impact.. My teeth are tightly locked together.. and all I think about is how much longer to the destination. It doesn't exactly make me a great passenger, but I cant help it. Yet... I've been told by many people that Im the best driver they have ever seen and fully trust me. Which feels weird hearing ..seeing my problemWhat do I do? I've been somewhat paranoid since I learned to drive, of everyone elses driving. That was when I was 7... So yeah.. Thanks
I cant trust anyone... (driving)
take the bus if you can, you are far less likely to get into an accident in those things. They happen like, what, maybe 10times a year in a certain area compared to the several dozen that happen each day with cars. Plus you are higher off the ground, anything that hits it usually hits under your feet. Other than that, i dunno man. Get some counseling maybe? Its funny smoking weed causes dementia in some and relaxation for others. I'm like you, when I'm stoned it feels like I'm gonna have a wonderful day. I used to live with this roommate and his girlfriend. When they got stoned they went crazy, trying to kill each other and stuff. They got into fights every single time they were stoned. Shit was breaking everywhere, doors slamming, screaming...it was ugly. Anyways good luck with your paranoia thing.
come for a ride with me. You'll be fine. I've got more clicks on the clock than an astronaut.
and there was light
I know exactly how you feel. When my sisters first started driving I'd have to write my death sentence before I left the house. My 21 year old sis has been in so many accidents it's ridiculous. But I can only trust my dad to drive too. My brother is a speed demon, all my sister's don't even pay attention to the road. And my mom... let's not go there. But I didn't realize how dangerous or fun it was to drive a car until I went to get my licence. I was scared out of my mind and so was the driving instructor BUT I somehow passed. Yes! I know it's hard for you to relax during times like this. When my dad was teaching my closest-to-age sis how to drive in reverse I was getting ready to hop right out the car. But there are just some risks that have to be taken. For me I pray. Considering what I am. Maybe you should try and relax. Try not to think of the worse that might happy. Engage in conversation. Just... not too distracting.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
- Moulin Rouge (love that movie)