I never feel anything

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Last year I had this big fight with an ex friend, and I got a little depressed, then I started dragging my protractor over my skin. I stopped after a couple of days but for the last three months or so I've started again and the cuts are deeper and I find that the only times I feel anything its either sadness, frustration, hatred or anger. The protractor scarred me a bit but lately as I get more confused I cut myself with serated knives and scissors.I don't know what to do.

i know losing a friend like that is hard but you can keep on hurting yourself like that.ill pray for you

wuts a protractor ?

its some thing you use to calculate Angles mainly used in a geometry class i think
http://www.chicos.caltech.edu/classroom/pointer/protractor.gif

i have one of those... it came in a ruler pack. liek a ruler and a D and one like a tringle. i use with drawing. sad i can draw but i can;t draw a stright line. i never thought about using it though.

for some od reason i get a feeling this isnt the place to be talking about that

Im sorry. I meant compass. You know, that thing you draw circles with.

how do you cut yourself with a compass?

A compass has two arms hinged together at one end. On the other end, one arm ends in a pencil point for marking, and the other arm ends in a sharp point for pivoting around. The sharp point is like an awl, or an ice pick. It can do some damage.

I used to cut a lot because of my depression. I know it seems to help at that very moment and then all you get is either a wave of hatred, guilt, frustration, anger, or all of those things at the same time. The only thing I can say is that you think of other things to do. Try writing about how you feel or drawing it out, it helps a lot. Also, you can find someone to talk to that might very well be able to help you. Most of the time, it's because you have so many bottled up emotions that you need to get out in the open and a way to get them out is through the blood.

Does anyone have any idea's about how to stop? I do it because it stops my emotions, and then when the scars come up I dont have to cut a much, just run my fingers over my scars. I cant flick myself with a hairtye cause its to noticeable and writing poems just amplifies it. Its not been to bad the last couple of weeks though. Oh, and cutting a pillow doesn't work either. Believe me I've tried all the things I could find from site. So. Any other ideas for coping? I can't tell my parents.

I've tried all the things I could find from site.As you've gathered from reading this site and other resources, cutting is not a rare thing, and you're not weird. Beyond that, I don't see how message boards, etc. can help you control your cutting.Have you tried in-person counseling? There should be a way to do it without getting your parents involved. Otherwise, you can tell them that you're feeling "really unhappy", and you'd like to talk to a counselor or psychologist. You don't have to tell your parents that you cut.Are you saying that your parents have no clue that you are seriously depressed?

i used to cut to. sometimes if your feeling really fustrated instead of reaching for a knife get a red pen and just use that instead like drawing lines and stuff on your arms and stuff, its not the same obviously but it helps. even now when i suddenly feel down i sometime do that, its wierd i knw. this is a really good website that helped me thru some stuff, especially with self harm, theres more ideas on the site though
www.recoveryourlife.com
my username is 'mazkat' yopu can pm me if you want
take care

Are you saying that your parents have no idea that your serious depressed?<I don't know if im seriously depressed. But yes, they have no idea. Does anyone know what the "Whats up" hotlines are like? If I told them I hurt myself would they try and contact my parents?I know your probably going to tell that I should talk to them, but im not going to, I just can't.

I'm not familiar with that hotline, but you have to get some help. Your parents will not be pleased if you screw up and accidentally kill yourself.

I know I do. Its just hard, you know? Though the suggestion of drawing red lines is quite a good one, I did that once, but I just outlines my veins.

i thohgt by compass you meant the north east west south tool.

We kind of figured that. Now you've learned something new, in case you ever want to draw precise circles.

ive only ever cut once in my life, and it was just on my ankles. try to take up something to relieve these feelings... like a sport or something. whenever you want to cut, go for a walk or go be with someone you love... anything that will stop you from hurting yourself anymore

I think you need to understand why you do this? and then try to find other ways to express or cope with what you are feeling. look for a pattern in what you are doing- i mean when you cut yourself is it when you are sad or angry or bored.... you get the point, look for the times when it happens and work from there.If you find the source of the problem then maybe you could look at solving that, what ever it is that makes you feel like hurting yourself. then maybe if you deal with that or those issues then you might not feel the need to hurt yourself anymore.