No time to search !

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ok here it goes! i have ended a 21 yr realtionship.have two kids. and well i met another guy about a yr after my seperation.hes my age even gone through what i have. thing is i want to know how to get him to tell me what he wants out of this realtionship . i ain't expectin him to marry me. i have never been with any one except my ex and this is all new to me. i don't think i am made to go back to the dating game after all these yrs.is he just being careful to? just lookin for advice here i don't want to make a big mistake and push him away.

Hmm the only way i can think (and have done) its just have a talk with them, Ask them where they see themselves in 5-10 years, then continue on from there maybe?

i tried that all he says is time will tell .what the hell is that suppose to mean?

Thats guy code for "im indecicive and will drive you crazy when you try to ask me something" Hmm... STEVE! Help! lol, i guess ask him flat out, Where are we going with this?

i even tried that. he came back with i am a bit slow when it comes to showin my feelings

it seems like he might be indecisive (sp?) because he isnt sure of what you think about that maybe.

well i know he has been with others since his seperation . and experimented alot . and well i have not been with anyone but my ex . and my ex is just waitin till i start havin tons of guys around to show my kids that i am a slut . i know this cause my ex had the nerve to tell me this.i told the guy i am seeing that if its time he needs fine but i don't want to be a toy and thrown out when hes had his fill. he said he would never do that.

Hmm how long have you been with this new guy? And does he seem very serious and into the relationship with you and him?

i have been seeing him for almost 5 months now. and yes i think he thinks about me but as for how serious i don't know.i know hes may be going away next yr.he wants to go back in to the military .i just am not sure how not to get to attached till i know where we stand.

Ah, Yikes. Other then say "We need to talk about us, where we're going and i need a straight answer." I cant think of anything else. (i should not be dr. laura any time soon lol)

well any help here is what i am lookin for i just thought there may be somethin i am over lookin

This guy sounds like.......a guy.Are you sharing custody of your kids, and is your boyfriend sharing custody of his kids? I guess if the divorce is not final, that may still be up in the air. I didn't know you could go back into the military once you leave. Will travel or relocation be involved? In any case, he was probably badly hurt by the breakup, and doesn't want to risk making a new commitment yet. He just needs more time. (Keep in mind that this is a guy's point of view.)At some point, though he's going to have to make a decision, if you want a commitment. But a year after a the start of a separation is a bit soon for some people.I hope your ex was just spewing in a fit of anger or frustration. Making the other parent into the bad guy is destructive to the children, and they should be both parents' top priority. And considering he's been with several women...what a jerk.For now I'd say, goood luck, and hang in there.

Phew wondering when you'd come along and help

I needed time to put my cape on.

Just get it back from the dry cleaners? lol

Had to get out the taco sauce and soy sauce stains. Ocha domo...

Thanks ! I guess i just have to be more patient.I wasn't lookin for dating when we met.neither was he.but his mother set us up.
no i don't have shared cusody of my kids my ex said i was unstable and wasn't fit to have it and when i could show him i was then he would change it. (and by unstable i mean a job , place of my own.Well to start being so called stable I went back to school for training since i have nothin i was a stay at home mother and my kids were everything i was completely involved in their school ,music, friends , what they like to shop for . ) i think u get the idea.even their friends would come to me for help and advice. they said it was easier then talkin to their own parents.my ex on the other side well it was work work work .man just reread all this and if u take out "ex" i am back to where i was when i was 14 again. and trust me i ain't good at knowin what to do when its comes to realtionships.i always fuck up
my bf has shared custody of his kids.i feel sorta bad for him cause he only gets to see them 5 weeks out of a whole yr.he sorta got booted out of the military cause of his wife pullin him out of train and away from duty.he has to also now get out of the big debt. his wife put him in.yes moving and relocating is part of it.
my ex had never been with any one else just me.but my bf has been seperated for 3 yrs and well sorta had his fill of experimentin and girls.

I guess I was a bit confused over the custody thing. By "separation", I meant legal separation, but it sounds like you and your boyfriend are divorced. Do you have visitation rights? If you're in a stable situation, can you petition the court for shared custody?

i have a legal seperation from my ex .my bf doesn't but has shared custody. he was smarter then me i just wanted out and had no money and didn't know how to fight it.have to wait another yr before i can file for divorce.i plan on it once i have a job and done school.then i hope my kids will want to live with me and there is nothin he can do .

It isnt really up to your kids unless their fourteen. (atleast thats how it was where i lived) Its whos a more fit parent, or there will be shared custody