i have been dating a girl for almost three years, and we have been sexual for almost two... usually our routine, is that i finger her to get her off atleast once (more than that 'hurts her') and then i get on top and do my missionary thing. recently we have tried a few different positions that she reallly likes, but i still can't get her to ever do anything on top, she says it makes her self conscious (spelling?). She seems to be really digging some of the new things that we are trying, but i still can't get her to say or try what she wants, she will never take charge due to her shyness. what can i do to get her to please herself once in a while when we are having sex instead of just going along for the ride when i do the work? i can't get oral very often either, but that's a seperate subject. any advice?
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Need help with girlfriend's shyness
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Explain to her that you want to contunally try different things in the bedroom, and if she doesnt like it then you stop and try something else.
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A lot of girls are shy about being on top, cos they would be in 'control' of the action, and many don't know what to do.........don't pressure her into doing it, sex is meant to be fun, but tell her how beautiful she is, and how much it would turn you on to have her on top of you, even if she did it for a couple of minutes before moving she would get her confidence.........
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sounds like awesome advice there. I know i was shy about being on top too but eventually i did it. what happened is that instead of sitting up i, i would lie on top and bury my face in his shoulder. eventually i started looking at him, and when i saw how much he loved it i would sit up and maybe put on a little show. My advice would be that whatever you do dont force her, and let her know that it would be absolute nirvana for you.
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ANd there are also so many wayf of being on top. It doesnt have to mean she has to be all sitting up and stretching herself to the limit :P She can just lean down over him and he can hold her so it get more like a big penetrated hug :P Think its a lot eaasier then really sitting up for a shy girl. And its nice too.
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several of the girls ive been with have been shy to some extent. just don't put her on the spot and make an issue over it, that will only make her feel worse and hold up the progress between you even more. just give it time for her to be comfortable having sex, being with you and exploring things. its just a matter of time until she builds up her sexual confidence and self esteem. the girl im with now was very inexperienced and afraid to try new things when we started having sex. now she likes to try all sorts of positions. it just took her time to feel comfortable and confident.
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You might consider letting her know how beautiful you think she is and such. If she's having self-esteem issues with being so exposed, maybe she just needs to know you find her attractive when doing it.