Home

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I hate coming home. I almost cryed today because I knew I had to go home and my dad would be there (gone a fulll week)... I dont like my mom at all. She told me "your the reason this family is fucked up".. She told me this when my dad was pissed at me. So she basicly takes my dads side now. I hate being here. I love my girlfriend to death, but I was honestestly hoping someone would run a red light on the way home and kill me. Its sad. Im not depressed, I dont want to die, I just dont want to be here. I dont love my dad. Its sad to say, but I dont. I dont really love my mom anymore. After what she said to me... Am I really wrong? I hate being here. I wont be 18 till feb next year.. so I have a little while. Im already trying to line up a room somewhere. I've really cut back on smoking pot, but with these fucks, I find I want to be stoned all the time. Just makes things a little easier. What they say doesn't bother me as much.. I reliaze they are pretty fake. They pretend everything is great. I dont know why Im typing this out. I just need to vent. My dad was trying to be all nice to me when I got home.. I simply said 'Hey' and walked away. Im not trying anymore. Im not. I hate him and he has made my life hell. Im finally seeing just how bad its always been. We played catch once.. for 5 minutes. Never threw a foot ball.. Never took the fucking time to listen to me. He doesnt know my friends.. my age.. my favorite anything. It just pisses me off so much. I want to take a baseball bat to his face and just keep beating and beating. But he isn't worth it.. Im better then that. Im a better man. I dont have to result to violence to get at my dad... I will get at him when dies alone in a cold house, because I wont be there for him. Im sorry I typed this out... I just needed to.. Thanks for putting up with (errors, no paragraphs) but Im upset right now.... all because Im home

Dude im really sorry to hear that... do you have any friends or other family you could stay at... so your dad is trying to be nice or what?

I might be able to move in with my girlfriend.. Her parents might have a room open soon, so maybe! I could have moved in with my aunt, but she moved cross country My dad was trying to play the 'best of buddy' thing.. Acting like were all cool and shit. He is so fake. I havn't left my room at all. I dont want to deal with him. I feel so stupid for 'bitching' about it, but Im so powerless at 17. I wish I could pack a few things and just leave, but I would be in the 'wrong'...I hate to do this... but this song (Three Days Grace again..lol) explains how I feel... So does 'Home' ... Just seems like it was written for me... but here are the lyrics...I could be meanI could be angryYou know I could be just like youI could be fakeI could be stupidYou know I could be just like youYou thought you were standing beside meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll be just like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youI could be coldI could be ruthlessYou know I could be just like youI could be weakI could be senselessYou know I could be just like youYou thought you were standing beside meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll be just like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youOn my own, cause I can't take livin' with youI'm alone, so I won't turn out likeYou want me toYou thought you were standing beside meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll be just like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youYou thought you were there to guide meYou were only in my wayYou're wrong if you think that I'll beJust like youI could be meanI could be angryYou know I could be just like you

Yeah that would be cool if you could move there and be happy.... is he trying to be cool because he knows your pissed at him or what??

I dont think its right to hate your dad just cause he never caught a football with you, and my parents didt know my friends either. big fuckign deal. did he give you a place to live, feed you? then he deserves a little more respect then that. What led up to these feelings?

Yeah thats like the bare things a dad should do.... and its different with guys. A parent is supposed to raise a kid not just feed them.... if my dad didnt teach me about football and play catch with me i would be a burn out and failing school. I know that because i only did the work so i could play football and football has now gotten me out of drugs, it doesnt have to be football it could be building car models or teaching there kid about computers. Do you get what im saying?

Nope, i think its stupid personally, where i grew up that wasnt expected of a dad, that was a perk. Its not enough that they love you and put up with your crap for 17 years.

Just because they feed you doesnt mean they love you, if they do stuff with you and have fun in my opinon shows they love you and if you put effort in to make them proud and do good and what your expected of it shows you love them also.

Hey man, I think the only thing you have to hold on right now is gratefulness (if that is a word) My mom had to live off Ritz crackers and Peanut Butter when she was a kid, her father used to beat my mom and my mom's mom left them. They lived off food stamps and lived in a bad part of Brooklyn (she is white so a lot of people would give her shit) My uncles/her brothers would get wasted or high and mess up the place, the dad/my grandpa used to come home and beat everyone.Just live of gratefullness, maybe it would be best though to live with your girlfriend though

my parents didt know my friends either. big fuckign deal.That is a very big deal. The idea is that if people choose to have children, they sign up for more than just providing the mimimum of food, shelter, and clothing. Nurturing a requirement, or the kids will likely be left with deep scars and big problems.Some people are just not cut out to be parents (or even pet owners), but some cultural thing compels them to spawn. That's becoming less true in the U.S., Canada, Europe, and Japan.

it's ..well i'm not sure if it's cool or not cool lol cuz it cankill asong sometimes butlike when u listen to the lyrics and it like hits u SHIT! u know.. like that's liek how i freaking feel. but then some just like.. kill the song cuz the words are well lyrics are just too mutch. theni'm like i never want to hear that song ever again! the best song.. well right now is... this song by nonpoint haha it;s great it's all insome other langue like spanish (i htink) but it's just it's great cuz i have no idea wut they are say but their screaming LMAO!

He doesn't even know what school I go to... Thats another one to the list... Doesnt know my friends, what I like, or what I do, so why should he know where I go to school at? Im trying so hard not to snap. All his little 'petty' insults. I havnt spoke to him in 3 days. Im done talking to him. He isn't worth my breath. Im trying to be the better person and not say anything and wait till that glorious day when Im a legal adult. Im not letting him get to me. He isn't going to put me in another depression. I just started thinking of him as a 'complete moron' that results to petty insults because he isn't smart enough to play on my level, and he knows it. Thats what gets me day to day.

That is pretty screwed up. Clearly not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Hang in there...you'll be on your own soon enough.