In June my best friend Mike (male, 22 years old) invited me to join in on his family vacation at their beach house with his parents, sister Jessica(19 years old), and his sister's b/f Dave (22). I agreed to go, and am glad I did cuz we had a blast. I bonded really well with everyone, and that's the cause of my problem.I really bonded with everyone on this trip. I became friends with the sister and her boyfriend as well. Whenever I hang out with my friend Mike, his sister and her b/f Dave seem to tag along too. Its become a tight little group that we have, and I'd hate to throw it all away. So thats why I'm asking for advice.The problem is I am really falling for my friend's sister. I really am in love with her, can't get her out of my mind. And it hurts like hell. The thing is her b/f doesn't treat her right, and I know if she was with me she'd be treated right. But does that give me the right to interfere? I really don't think so... So I just sit here and endure the pain of not being with her.When I was on vacation with them, I noticed how Dave really doesn't treat Jessica as well as he should. They spent alot of time fighting, alot of time making up, and alot more time fighting. Then when she wasn't around he would say stuff like, "I should just dump her now". The thing I noticed with him is he makes their relationship one-sided. He expects her to do everything he wants to do, and anything she wants him to do with her is dumb and out of the question. Any movie she wants to see with him he considers corny or stupid, so she tags along to see his movies just so she can spend time with him. That sorta thing. He tends to disappear on her too, for weeks at a time.What gets me is she is a really smart girl, doing really well in college. She's also got great looks, could probably have any guy she wants. I think her main attraction to Dave is that he has a chiseled body and he does make her laugh. But like I said, it seems like most of the time he treats her like shit.Back to the vacation when they were fighting and spent some time apart, I spent some of that time on the beach with her. She was crying, but basically she told me that the few good moments with Dave outweigh the many bad moments. And she still believes he is the "one" for her. I wished at that moment I could have told her how I really feel now. That I really am crazy about her, and I'd treat her right if she was with me. But I can't make her laugh like he does and I don't have the muscles that he has. And like I said that's her attraction to him.This is the most complicated situation I've ever been in. I really need any opinion/advice/input from anyone who reads this. I honestly wish I could just cut all ties to my best friend and his family, and maybe these feelings will go away. But seeing his sister and her b/f together just make my heart ache. And since she is so devoted to him, I feel like it just isn't right for me to tell her how I really feel.
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My Best Friend's Sister
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I agree with helms all the way. This is a situation where you let things take their path, If this is really your bestfriend, what does he say about it? You'd throw your best friend to the gutter to get with his sister? It sounds like the guy is definatly not the one if he is making her cry and go off to the beach with a stranger. You have to let her figure it out herself its a shitty situ but getting involved is worse. If you get involved your relationship with have so much pressure on it that it will be almost impossible to work. It sounds like your best friend, his family and the ex-bf would have your head. keep your place, be there for her if you can deal with it, but remember your her friend and thats it.
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I would suggest that you slow down and use your head in dealing with this and you may eventually win. Patience and planning may be the edge that you have over the brainless hulk. If she likes muscles then go to the gym and get some muscles. Keep in touch with her. Once a week send her an email with nothing more than "Thinking about you and hope you are doing well." Keep your name in front of her but at a distance. If the relationship with the jerk breaks she will think about all the attention you have given her. Girls can look in a guys eyes and understand what's going on. Discuss it with your best friend and make sure he is cool with it. You don't have to tell him anything except, "I think your sis is one of the coolest girls I have ever known and the jerk she's with doesn't know how lucky he is." He will understand. My suggestion would be to play your cards smart. Good luck!
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If she likes muscles then go to the gym and get some muscles.And while he's at it, he can get plastic surgery so he can look like the other guy, and maybe if he studies the other guy's personality, he can adopt his mannerisms. All he has to do is become the other guy, and he's all set.QuiteGone, Helmsman pretty much hit it on the head. You are deeply in the friend zone, and the romantic feelings aren't mutual. As canon said, it's possible that patience and gentle persistence might pay off, but it would be ridiculous to put your life on hold and carry the torch forever. This may sound harsh, but she may finally realize that the other guy is a jerks and leave him, but still not be romantically interested in you, however good a guy you may be.
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idk but i hear about those types of girls all the time. I dont think its worth the trouble waiting for those kinda girls because they rarely ever get past their abusive boyfriends. That nice guy "that will always be there for her" will always remain just a friend and she will always stay in an abusive relationship.I suggest you save yourself the heartache and find a girl that will appreciate you not some girl that cares about muscles or stupid stuff like that. I think you just need to go out and meet other girls. Its easy for someone to become infatuated (sp?) with a person when you spend a weekend alone with that person. I'm sure If it had been with some other girl with the same type of personality minus the boyfriend you would have felt the exact same way.