Feeling not good enough

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i have a great boyfriend and we both plan on getting married when we grad. college (about a year) but heres the thing, i occasionally, ok more than occasionally i find porn on his computer. when i see it it makes me feel like he would rather watch this than be with me and that im not good enough or as hot, or thin, or whatever as these girls on there. I hate it. ive talked to him about it but he sayd i shouldnt feel like that and its "my problem i feel like this" what should i do or say to him?

Men get seriously involved and fall in love, but they don't die when they do so. Unless he'd rather look at port than be with you, don't take it personally. He might get enjoyment from watching football. You wouldn't expect him to give that up for his relationship, would you?

should i talk to him and tell him it drives me crazy?

i know how u feel here. all i did was let him know how i felt and we talked about it.as for the feeling going away its still there sometimes . sorry i ain't much help.

> should i talk to him and tell him it drives me crazy?

It may be worth discussing, but don't expect to mold him into your ideal.

have to agree here . as long as he knows how u feel about it .

yea seriously why do girls expect guys to give up like everything once they are together?? How often do we guys tell you girls not to hangout with any of your guy friends anymore?? I personally get really angry when a girl tells me i cant do something because it annoys her when it does absolutelty nothing bad to our relationship.

As long as he doesn't jeopardize his time with you for porn, you have nothing to worry about. My guess is that it's just his "jacking-off outlet". I look at porn of my fetish to masturbate, and I'm in a wonderful relationship, and I don't desire the porn more than my bf at all.

Firstly, yes i would tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable. Men grow up in an enviroment where porn and masterbating to it, is a lot more acceptable than it is for women. They don't see it as anything else as what it is, we, as women, put all the other stuff into it - does he find the women more attractive than me, does he think they do sex better than me etc etc. Talk to him and tell him, theres a good chance that he has no idea it affects you in that way...........

If it makes you feel uncomfortable then talk to him about it. Try and get him to understand your point of view. But I believe porn is really harmless.

**I disagree. Porn isn't harmless. For young people it gives a distorted idea of what sex between 2 people should be, it makes both sexes feel like they have something to live up to - males want to be as big, squirt as hard, fuck for as long - as guys in porn films - femals - feel they have to look like the girls from porn films, act the same way, take it up the ass etc etc etc.
Porn can also become a dependancy, were men usually, but i guess some women also, can't cum without it, and that does become a problem if you intend to have a relationship, or indeed if you are already in one.
I personally have never had any negative experiences with regard to porn, but i know people that have. **

I know how you feel.. if yhe finds it hard to understand when you talk to him about it, give him an explanation and an example for him to think about.
Ask him how he would feel if he knew that you had a sex toy that you used constantly.. would he feel like you were trying to replace him? Or that he wasn't good enough?
Anyway, that's just an idea to help him to understand how you are feeling (providing that he responds in the right way!) :grin: sorry if this is all crap, im rushing to go out!!!

> Ask him how he would feel if he knew that you had a sex toy that you used constantly

No one said anything about him msturbating all the time. It would make more sense to ask him how he would feel if he knew that you were frequently looking at guy-containing porn.

i have never once thought cause a guy was in a relationship he had to give up things. when i was in my marriage i gave up everything to make others happy . well that a self distruct waitin to happen . well i still wouldn't ask them to give things but i am no longer willing to give up what i want to .

talk to him, yes definatly. but u people say it's not damaging?? LOL that is truly funny. i'm a guy, married for 2 yrs now, and struggle w/ porn.yes u read right i said "struggle". meaning i'm trying not to do it but i still do somtimes. angelwitch (i think that's her, ) had an awesome point. guys do think like that, i know i do. my views are dioriented b/c of porn. i expect my wife to suck me off at the drop of a hat, and that i can shoot cum like 5 feet everytime. but i'm trying to change that. i think it may boil down to how much problem SHE has with it.and don't you give up stuff when u get togeter just to date, espacially marriage?? i know i have. but u can't just give it up and and not talk about it. example: when u start dating (going steady/going out/exclusive/etc etc) someone do u regularly go out on dates w/ other people? nooo. when you're w/ ur g/f do you go up and start talking to a hot girl and ask her out on a date? noooo. when u get married it's even more than that, there's a life long comitment there. i'm not saying change to compromise morals but looking at porn? what kinda moral is that? if ur that obsessed with it, then don't bother getting married.u say "jerk off material" i've jerked off PLENTY of times to just thoughts of my wife and i doing things. or maybe with her watching and rubbing my body or moaning in my ear or kissing on me. she doesn't have to do it, but she can make it pleasureable.my 2 cents. if he truly feels for you and loves enough to get married he will understand and try/work on changing it. but if he gives u that bull about it being "your problem/fault" then he doesn't care for you enough. i would give ANYTHING to be/stay with my wife. you can take away my computer/video games, my car, my job, football, heck even take a finger! she means that much to me. i know i'm not the majority here but if he love porn more than he loves you, it will show.

You shouldn't worry about it, My girlfriend loves porn, she has it all over her pc, I don't mind one bit as at the end of the day she gives me a deminstration of what she has seen etc.. I dont mind lol