Well it looks like my Nannie's cheese has finally slid off her cracker. No I'm not making light of her situation, I just get very sarcastic when I'm nervous or when something really bothers me. And yes, this is really bothering me. For the past two weeks my grandmother has been hallucinating and it seems as though shes reverted back in time. She keeps asking for my Papa (who is her husband) who died six years ago on my 13th birthday. My aunt has had to tell her "Momma, Daddy has been dead for six years, you know that." And each time shes had to tell her that she's broke down crying because she couldn't understand that. Shes also been asking for her little sisters Lena and Margie, she calls Lena her "baby" and Margie her "doll" and she keeps asking for them over and over and when no one will tell her where they are she starts saying "Oh, they must be hiding under the bed, I'll get them out in a minutes." My Aunt Margie died a year ago from cancer and my Aunt Lena died nearly 20 something years ago. Each day it's been getting worse and worse. Shes seeing people in her room that aren't really there. My sister went and saw her lastnight and as soon as she walked into the room my Nannie looked at her and said "What are you doing here? You just left!" and all my sister can say is "I know Nannie, I just needed to come and talk to you some more." My Aunt says that my Nannie has been seeing my sister for the past two days. There are so many other things that's happening but I can't bring my self to write it out right now, it's breaking my heart to see this once very strong and proud woman so weak and frail. My Aunt took her to the doctor and he said that it's not Dementia nor is it Alzheimers, he thinks that maybe it's the small strokes shes been having for years. Is it wrong for me not to want to see her like this? I don't want to see her die but shes getting worse each and every day and if I don't go and see her now I'll lose my chance because she doesn't have much longer. But I don't want to see her like this, is that wrong? Am I being selfish?
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It's beaking my heart...
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It is sad but what you feel is normal. No one wants to see some or something in distress, or at least generally people do not want to. This is some one close and it hurts to see them like this, but cheer up, she is blessed with being to live as long as she did, so do not cry or get nervous. If anything you should be happy she lived a long life.
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I know what you mean. A few years ago I did some community work in a nursing home, there was a woman there that relived her wedding day over and over again. Each day she would run around the home getting ready, doing her hair and make up, looking for her dress. It was so terrible to see her like that, and none of the nurses knew how to deal with her. It was so sad.Its not selfish for you not to see her while she is so weak, but as you said, it may be your last chance. Go see her and enjoy your time with her, she is still your Nannie and she loves you as much as you love her.
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Well I went and saw her today before I went to work and it made me so sad, I broke down in tears when I finally came home. She reconized me but nothing she said made very much sense and it was very VERY hard to see her like that. I promised her I would come by and see her again tomorrow, I just hope shes feeling a bit more like herself, but if not, I'll still be there to see her. Its hard, but she needs people there who love her and I need to be there and show it to her.
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Thank you very much for your advice, it's helped more than you guys will ever know. It's really painful to watch her go through this because I've always been close to her and I was close to my Papa too. Six years ago I watched him struggle with cancer, I saw the pain he went through, I saw the days where he couldn't get out of bed. I saw him so weak he couldn't even eat or drink, and I remember him lieing in the hospital bed with a high fever coming in and out of a comma. I remember holding his hand the night before my birthday and I can still remember the way my mum's voice cracked as she told me the next morning as she handed my birthday present that he had died early that morning. I remember all that pain I felt when I lost such a major figure in my life, and I don't want to feel that way again. But it's enevitable, I can't continue to live in my little fantasy world thinking that she's not going to die. I know it'll hurt, and I've got to deal with it and it will be a learning experience. I will just let her know I'm here for her and that I love her no matter what or how bad she gets. She still has her Katydid (thats what she always called me growing up), and I'll be there for her every step of the way.
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Stay strong Katie, you'll get through it. Your Nannie will live in ur memories forever, so let her know that she's being loved. Big hugs Enjoy your time with her and rejoice at her long and good life.
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Awwwww sis big hugs you are strong and you will get through this. It is tragic to see someone slide like this. My grandfather we now know, suffered from a lot of little strokes, and has gone the same way. He can't remember that his wife died over 10 years ago, or that my dad, his son, moved away to live in scotland nearly 12 years ago, he doesn't remember my children - which is heartbreaking to me .What i would say is that you have to find whats comfortable for you, to visit her and be upset but know you have been to see her, or to not see her, remember how she used to be and cope with the guilt you will inevitably feel that you havn't been to see her. I have worked with people who seirously couldn't cope with seeing their parents/relatives like this, and in the end it was better for them that they didn't go, and of course the person they would have been visiting wouldn't have remembered anyway. I KNOW that sounds very very harsh, but its the reality of life. FInd whats best for you, you're strong you will cope and we're here for you if and when it gets hard big big hugs
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My Grandpa has the same problem but on and off, and its really affecting my mom. I know i should see him more often but everytime my parents go i just think i would get bored and not go, i know its selfish