To cut the story short, my boyfriend broke up with me and really started to like this girl 'emma', i know its horrible and selfish but i started becoming friends with 'emma' just so i could keep an eye on the situation.However, here's the problem- over the past couple of weeks ive really grown to get along with her and feel like i can tell her anything- but id never tell her the main reason why i became friends with her. My ex is really angry that im spending all this time with her to stop them both being together. Last week she told me she is bi-sexual and my ex didnt stand a chance with her. i was really happy about this but then thought why?? Im always with her and get happy everytime i see her, at first it was a deliberate plan to come between her and my ex but now its more than that, im worried that i may be attracted to her, ive never looked another girl the way i look at her. dont know what to think now.
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Really messed up
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**what you did was pretty lame, and i can see why you don't wanna tell her why you became friends with her. As for being attracted to her, go with the flow, experimenting with the same sex isn't wrong, if it feels right go with it........its nothing to be worried about......... **
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I agree with Angelwitch. The reasoning for befriending her is quite juvenille, but it's in the past. The point is you've made a close friend, regardless of the reason for starting it. I say, go with what you feel. Don't worry about the gay stigma or any feelings that may hold you back solely on how society will judge you. If you truly have feelings for her and enjoy it, then good for you. If you explore and decide you're not attracted to her that way, then you're straight and have nothing to worry about. It's better than doing nothing and wondering your whole life, right? Just keep this in mind: if you do pursue some sort of relationship with her you've pretty much eliminated any chance of getting back with your old boyfriend. But, there are tons of good guys to go around.
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If you are falling "in love" with your new friend, why not just let it happen? You may wind up having a much better relationship than with you ex bf. And if things eventually become sexual, then why not??
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Hey just wanted to say a big thanks for your replies- i know becoming friends with her for the wrong reasons was totally out of order, its just that i hated the thought of them being together, im really sorry that i went about this way, maybe one day ill tell her. or maybe it will just cause more problems. Im friends with her now because i like her and we get along so well.As for the other thing, im not sure what to do about it, i mean if i told her that i think i like her she could run a mile, i mean just because she is bi-sexual it doesnt mean that she will like me right? then it might ruin our friendship, ive not known her too long but i know id miss her if we fell out. i think ill take it one day at a time, i could just be very confused and mistaking how i care about her as a friend with something more simply because of how close we have become.
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You're showing a lot of maturity in this post. You're right that being friends and having the same possibility for physical attraction doesn't mean she'll fall for you. In fact, once sex enters a relationship, things tend to go to extremes. Either it works and you become even closer, or more often than not it doesn't and the friendship suffers. Knowing that someone close to you has deeper feelings for you that you don't reciprocate is usually hard to live with, because feelings don't go away and the two of you would never be on the same wavelength.What I can suggest is to wait it out and see where the friendship takes you. If you ever reach a point where you think you have a chance and feel like taking it no matter the consequences, then have a serious talk with her about both your feelings and your fears about what could happen. Remember that communication is the key to any successful relationship. Good luck.