Need advice please - BI Sexual Urge

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Hi all, this is my first post so im hoping it all goes well Heres my problem...I am really attracted to guys, I love the thought of having sex with a guy and would like to try both oral and anal sex with a guy. This has been a sexual urge since I was about 14 (I am now 21) and is not something I have ever spoken to any of my friends or family about, and this might seem weird but I dont want to and never want to openly be BI (no real reason for that I would just like to keep it as my own thing).However I have a girlfriend and I would never want to talk to her about my feeling towards guys because A) I dont think our relationship would last and B) as above I just dont want anybody else to know. This is something I have tried to ignore but I just seem to find myself looking at gay porn and chatting online to gay people more and more. I dont want to cheat on my girlfriend and I really dont know what to do about it?! If I did decide to give it a go and see what happened i would be worried about sexually transmitted diseases and getting caught?Any advice, or just your thoughts here would be very much appriciated.Thanks for reading hope to hear from you guys soon.Dean

My advice, if your relationship with your girlfriend means a lot to you, as in you could get married some day, don't jeopardize it. But if you really need to explore this, then do it. It's the only way you'll ever know if living a bi life is for you or not. Try finding guys who are in the same position as you, very curious, but want to be discrete. If you enjoy being with a man and are willing to be a little more open about it, cross that bridge when you get to it. Of course, protection is essential regardless if it's heterosexual or homosexual. I think there are very few people in this world who aren't even the least bit curious. Give it a shot, see if it's for you.

First off, i'm no expert but I think that it would be easier to catch a STD from having sex w/ a girl than a guy, because u arent sticking ur dick where stds are found. I think that dependng upon wat kind of person ur g/f is, she would probably dump u if u cheated on here or maybe even told here about ur problem. I would just wait it out or go have sex w/ a guy if it is bugging u

it depends how you feel about your girlfriend at the end of the day..do you love her?
i think its never a bad thing to explore your sexuality, and if its one of your urges/fantasies is to be with a guy, you should do it...depending on your relationship.
sex with guy or girl, you should always take care, always use protection-thats it *shrugs*

I think that it would be easier to catch a STD from having sex w/ a girl than a guy, because u arent sticking ur dick where stds are foundSTD's can be found in the mouth, and the sure as hell can be found in the rectum. All kinds of things can be found in the rectum. Also, bleeding is more likely with anal sex, which makes it that much more dangerous.

I do love my girlfriend very much, she is a bit younger than me and I feel that we are to young to be thinking about marrage but who knows. I dont know if this means anything but I can say that I would have almost definitely already been with a guy by now if I had been single. Almost as long as I have had sexual feelings I have been interested in the male body and curious about sex with a man. When I was younger I was just too nervous then just after I was 17 I got in to a serious relationship and then broke up, almost straight away I got together with my current girlfriend who I have been with for 2 years now.I dont usually talk about this but I masturbate over men lots and when I look at porn I almost always masturbate over gay porn and I love the feeling of anal (from anal masturbation). Im just not sure what all this means or what the hell to do about it.Also I would definitely be using a condom if I were to try sex with a man but that only protects things like HIV dosn't it? I dont know what the risks of things like crabs or ghonorrea are?Thanks for all your posts so far - I feel kind of better just knowing that there are people that understand and dont just think im strange.

First off condoms help against all STD's (Genital wise), so don't worry too much about that, just remember to use a condom reguardless who you have sex with.As for your feelings, they sound relatively strong. I am not saying you should break up with your GF BUT one this I will suggest to you, before you ever decide to get married experiment first. I know you said marriage is not something you are thinking about but I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard of guys who were curious before marriage never experimented and than years down the road after they have children fool around with guys and end up in a VERY messy divorce with kids right in the middle.I know not exactly a solution, but more of something for you to think about.

I think Ntroducing myself makes a very valid point. It sounds as though your urges to try this are very strong and not something you can just dismiss easily. Give it at try, see if it's as great as you fantasize it is. Just be prepared to lose your girlfriend if she were to find out. Regardless if it's a woman or another man, it's still cheating. At this point, it's only you that can decide which means more to you in this point of your life.

my advice is that everyone feels this way, i know i have, im a strait guy, and i have had the urge to hook up w. other guys. so i did, i tried it out. and now i know what i reallly like.

Wait it out. It may happen. I've wondered and once while watching porn with a guy would could get off so he fell asleep. Alittle latter I rubbed him awake and to blow on him so he could get off to(and I was curuious). He awoke and ripped down my shorts for and swallowed all I had for one of the best I've had. He'd done it since then and only done this with him. I really don't fell gay cause it was just friend giving help instead of watch each other jack off as before.

This is my first post, I’ve always been kind of a lurker, on this site, but your post really spoke to me. I know what your going through.I have always been attracted to guys, just with varying degrees of intensity. Sometimes, a guy is all I can think about other times they couldn’t be further from my desires. This may not make since to most people, but even though I fantasized about guys and had since I was about 13 of 14, I never realized that might mean that I was bi until I turned 28. Believe me latency is a bitch.I got married at 23 to women that I still love very much, at 29 I told her I was bi. That was not easy, for six months I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me sane was talking to my new gay friends on the net and a guy I had met, who is gay, locally. They offered more support than I can ever thank them for.After six months of agony, I finally told my wife that I was bi. She took it well at first saying she wasn’t surprised. But after a couple of days of thinking about it, I guess she had concluded, in her mind, that this meant that I was wanting to break up with her, to pursue my bi fantasies. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but try and explain that to a woman who is all of the sudden sleeping next to a stranger, that she thought she knew.It took three days of convincing that I had no intension of leaving her and that I was still the same person. It was three days that made my previous six suicidal months seem like a cake walk. In the end she finally did see me as the same person and our relationship is much, much stronger. Now we even bring my bi leanings to bed with us, talking dirty, bi porn and so on. I am truly fortunate.I tell you all this for two reasons. First, if you want to take a guy for test drive (or you want him to test drive you) do it now. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!, if you do get married to the love of your life the chance to try it is over. SECONDLY, IT IS NOT HEALTHY, COMFORTABLE OR HONEST TO LIVE A LIE. IF AN ATTRACTION TO MEN IS A BIG PART OF YOUR SEXUALITY (which it sound like it is) TELL ANYONE BEFORE YOU MARRY HER. Don’t try to hide who you are from you spouse or potential spouse, believe me you won’t like it. If she is “the one” she will except you for who you are and not take it as a rejection of her. If she can’t except it than she is not excepting you and you are better off to let her go, as hard as that may be. Love from anyone should never, never, never be conditional.In closing let me give you a word of cation. Don’t expect, as a bi man, to be befriended by the straight community. They’ll just see you as a “fag”. Don’t expect, as a bi man, to be befriended by the gay community. They’ll see you as a “closet case.” I have no gay friends anymore, they all just sort of drifted away. I miss them. It was nice to talk about the new, hot, waiter the way I talk about the new, hot, waitress with my co-workers. I miss that. There is no bi community, that I have found anyway.I’m sorry for the length of this post. I am just hoping that burningthunder5 finds something in it that will help him.

Let me add one thing to my previous post. If your not thinking of a long term relationship with your current partner there is no point in telling them. Just be honest with yourself and the one you plan on binding your life to be it man or woman.

Great first post hon, welcome to the boards

Thanks AngleWitch, your my favorite, hun.

awwwwwww thanks honey............hugs

I have no problem with watching bi porn as long as a woman is involved. However, when it's only 2 guys, it's just not the same. I like those 3-somes with 2 guys and a girl. I'm just too wary of the risks of sexual behavior in general. I get offers from other men all the time and I turn them down. I don't feel bad about it either.

What a great first post, OldFolks!

Thanks, Ineligible

Wow! What a terrific first post! You gave such great advice and thanks so much for sharing your personal story! =-D

Thank you, NtroducingMyself. I guess in my years, I have made a lot of mistake and if anyone can avoid the same pitfalls by my sharring, then I feel somewhat duty bound. Thanks to all.