Im 18 and have never had a close relationship with a girl...There have been oppurtunities but being unconfident and afraid held me back. But on top of that my expectations are way 2 high. Im shallow...I care 2 much about what a girl looks like. If there obsese and ugly I have no interest in them...even if they are the sweetest girl in the world. This idea of women has formed b/c of my dad and friends. My friends are very shallow and always have hot g/fs they dont even bother w/ anyone if there "ugly". I want a relationship but If a person I meet isnt hott my friends and dad will make fun of me to no end. Ive seen it before, and I take critizism to heart. I want 2 meet the perfect beautifull girl, but that wont happen...This all reflects on the idea that I care way 2 much about what people think about me.
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Expectations are to high, I think
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Honestly, most of the time the first thing people like about someone is there appearance. It might sound shallow but it's the truth. But even the most beautiful person can be ugly, depending on their personality. To really know someone and to see how beautiful someone is you have to know their personality.But that in mind there are always preferences people like when dating someone. Example, I don't think I could be with anyone whos overly over weight (I've dated people who had some weight to them, I just have a limit). I don't think thats being shallow that's just being honest with myself. You just need to look inside yourself and find out what's more important to YOU.. not your friends and father.
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there is no such thing as a perfect person, everyone has a fault, its how tolerant you are of it that maks them more or less perfect..............my hubby is about 250 pounds............so in your eyes if he was a woman you wouldn't touch her with a long stick LOL But hes the perfect guy in my eyes, his personality more than makes up for his size....................................just checked and hes actually more like 280 pounds!
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Yes, that is pretty shallow, and you're going to be a lonely guy, unless you look like Brad Pitt. Some would say, "thats [not] being shallow that's just being honest with myself", but I think you do care too much about what other people think. In any case, there are extremes at both ends, but most people are pretty ordinary looking. What you're saying sounds like a rationalization to me, and is not the real reason that you're not having a relationship.
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>Some would say, "thats [not] being shallow that's just being honest with myself", but I think you do care too much about what other people think
I am sure that was towards me. I just want to make it clear I have dated people that were some what over weight (Was like a cute cuddly teddy bear to cuddle with =-D..). I just meant I personally couldn't date someone say who was like 300-400 lbs. I'm not being rude at all, I can be friends with them, heck best friends. But I could never be relationship style attracted to them.
And tot he OP I will restate.. you need to look inside yourself and find out what's right and wrong. Never go by what others tell you you should date.
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**I love hugging teddy bears \*happy smile\* **
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The point is, I find it hard to believe that the original poster's real issue is that there's no one acceptably good looking enough who would date him. Something else is going on.
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wow you misunderstood my post. I never said no one was good looking enough for me to have a relationship. I was honestly saying that I couldnt date a person who is 300 pounds with pimples all over her face, even if she was the nicest person in the world. I know thats the wrong way of looking at things and i admit its a fault of mine. However If i did get over that fault, people around me would not understand why I was dating someone like that...thats what makes it hard.
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your too caught up in what other people think of you
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You said, "Im 18 and have never had a close relationship with a girl". You also said, "My friends are very shallow and always have hot g/fs they dont even bother w/ anyone if there 'ugly'. I want a relationship but If a person I meet isnt hott my friends and dad will make fun of me to no end." You then say, "I want 2 meet the perfect beautifull girl, but that wont happen.So, is this just an internal conflict, and not something that affects your day-to-day life? Are you saying that your attitude is not affecting your ability to get a date (with someone you want)? Are you only willing to date someone who looks like a model? What are you saying?Since you're not likely to meet a 300 pound girl with bad acne in a dating scenario, you're worrying about something that's not likely to happen. But there a big range between that and "hott".
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My advice: Dont settle for second best, if you like someone go for it, who cares if people are going to make fun of you. Just tell them to piss off. If you dont ask somone ese just cus ur worried your friends will make fun of you you will never know what could of been and miss out on somthing that could have been great.
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to be honest all i really look for is a pulse....
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OP, that's pretty steriotypical... me and my friends also dont have 'ugly' friends that are girls... Is it because I hate the way they look? No... Is it because of their personality? Probably. Overweight people generally dont have good personalities... Can you people not see that? You say its all about the personality, and what if they look bad AND have a bad personality? Extreme Makeover?
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Overweight people generally dont have good personalities... Can you people not see that? You say its all about the personality, and what if they look bad AND have a bad personality? Extreme Makeover? You couldn't be more wrong. My two closest female friends are both over weight, one of them is 420 lbs. They both have the most bubbly attitudes. Their sweet and just awesome people, always happy go lucky. Most women that are bigger have a lot fo self pride, atleast in my experience.
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Overweight people generally dont have good personalities... Can you people not see that? That is the most bigoted, clearly false statement I've seen here in a while, and that's saying something. That opinion is worthy of shame.You think that the "old folks" don't need to hang around and set the kids straight. After all, they should just freely reinforce each other's incorrect beliefs. You've just wrecked your own case.
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that is truly the most ignorant post i have seen..........you are such a waste of space.
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In reply to: Overweight people generally dont have good personalities... Excuse me darling, but I just happen to be a BBW (big beautiful woman) and that happens to be one of the most inaccuract and immature statements I have ever had the misfortune to read. Are you so simple-minded that you actually believe that? Give me a break, just because someone happens to "overweight" doesn't mean that they can't be pretty, intelligent, or have a great personality. I may be a chunky monkey, but I've got a lot of friends and I even have quote un quote hot guys who hit on me all the time... why you ask? Personality baby, and by that statement you made it proves you have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
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In reply to:
Overweight people generally dont have good personalities...
is that some sort of fucking joke? you need to leave your flat and have a look around, i think youve been brain washed by the porn industry to think that the only acceptable woman are those who star in their shitty little movies...
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word
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Some fat people may have low self esteme and be a bit shy but thats because of people like you who post comments like that. What does body mass have to do with somone personality?