Severe Gas Problem

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I'm one of those people who produces a lot of gas. Every time I fart, my gas smells 10 times worse than everyone elses. It's horrible and there's tons of it. If I hold it in, I get really sick from having it in my body and I get really bad cramps. And after I've farted a couple of times, my clothes have become stained with the smell. It doesn't come out until I wash them. This is a really embarrassing problem and I'm afraid that since I've walked around all day in smelly clothes twice, people are going to notice it and start spreading bad things about me the next time it happens. Is there any way that I can put an end to this?

MAybe medicine or changing the foods you eat. However, if it was me Id have fun with it for now. Like I remember one day I was having them really bad and I went to this big Auto Show in Chicago that they have every year. In any case I hopped in one of the new luxury cars in the lexus area and sat in the front seat with my friend. However, before doing so I open the back doors and clicked the child safety door feature to where only the doors could be open from the outside. Then I set the safety lock on the windowns with my left arm feature which in turn gave me sole access to whehter or not any of the windows went down in the car. After about 5 minutes an unspecting group of people hoped in the back seat and shut the doors at to which point I let out the most gasteric fart ever that Id been holding in for like 15 minutes and hot boxed/dutch ovened the car. Needless to say they squealed and squirmed for mercy, but no symphaty was given on my end. Muahahaha.While its definitely not a attracting feature to have from a womens perspective or from any human beings perspective, like I always say have fun with it for now. And who knows maybe youll meet the girl of your dreams who also has the same problem and you can play battleshits with each other like they did in that movie Kumar and Fruitcake Go To White Castle.No Im just kidding man (not about the car thing though lol.)...but yea theres medicine for what you have, but what works even better is if you just change your diet slighty. Like more veggies and fruits, less meats and milk (milk will make you fart bad), and not an over dose on fiber. And yes I know fruit does have fiber but I dont think that would cause it to stink...at most it might make you blow a few here and there, but not smelly ones....the good times... yah know the silent but thankfully not deadly type. Keep it in mind

The only "medicine" I know of is Beano, which is a pill that you take with a meal to keep down the gas. I don't know how effective it is. Also, if you're lactose-intolerant (i.e., you can't digest milk suger), you'll get a lot of bloating when you consume dairy products. Try cutting all dairy products out of your diet and see what happens. There is a pill called lactase that you can take just before eating dairy. It contains an enzyme that digests milk sugar.The cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, bok choy and kale) tend to cause gas, which is too bad, because they're very nutritious. Swallowing air (e.g., from using a straw) and carbonated beverages also add to the gas problem. Eggs make the gas more pungent.Do you have any other bowel issues, like diarrhea? Have you been on antibiotics recently? They can mess up the normal bacterial balance in your gut. You need to have the right bacteria in there.

BEANO!

Ha ha ha ha fucking classic!!!!!! Im find it funny to wake people up with a mighty trumpet to the head. Whats also funny (but very evil) is if your in bed with a girl you fart while she sleeps and lift the blanket up over her nose so she gets all the updrafts of it and see if it wakes her up, its like a little game for when you cant sleep!

There can be a number of reasons:1. Some people swallow a lot of air when they eat. The oxygen gets absorbed but the nitrogen, which is most of it passes right through.2. Some foods have a lot of polypentoses, like beans and cabbage. These aren't digested well by the gut, but intestinal microrganisms love them, and produce a lot of gas.3. The smell comes mainly from protein - meat, eggs, cheese. A vegetarian diet, which tends to be lower in protein, is much less smelly (compare dog and cow droppings for odour sometime when you have both handy). What is worst is eating protein and simple sugars together - the sugars encourage the intestinal microorganisms to flourish, and they then work on the protein.

I honestly fart all the time, but then Im not exactly normal I guess. I am a man and as a man I know that farts are histerically fucking funny! often after hitting the bars on a weekend I goto the crossroads mall in down town salt lake city. I do this only becuase it has elevators that are mde of glass to navigate its various foors. squeeze one out then run away and walk to the back and you can watch the people inside all the way down or up in that small glass cube, inhaling my beer left overs trying to not breath and covering noses and mouths and looking at each other with murder and suspision in thier eyes.honestly I dont worry about farts no biggie. I let em go and forget about em or atleast hang out at walmart when I have a major case of ass gas. I like to let em go in themiddle of crowded ailse as silently as I can then walk down turn hit the next aisle run back up and circle around to watch peoples reactions. it is also a great way to clear out some people in line or when everyone is standing in a crowded plae and Im jsut trying to walk past. If ya got it may as well use it to your advantage.on a side note my g/f doesnt think its near as funny as I do and has hit me several times in bed for farting under the covers even though I never did anything like pull the covers over her head after. In my own defense, it heat! i was trying to be nice to her

Have you done it in an airplane? FYI, the air in the cabin appears to move from front to back.

hmm my last flight was from salt lake city to san diego and thats only about 45 minutes in the air, next time Ill havta pay more attention on the plane because in sometihng that big I didnt really pay attention after I let em go. On a longer flight I might have watched more with more time to kill. looks like its time to book another flight

because in sometihng that big I didnt really pay attention after I let em goThen your diet is deficient, because your gas is weak. If the guy in the seat next to you doesn't notice, then your colon is not doing its job. I suggest more beans, broccoli, cabbage, and eggs.

That reminds me of a funny story that i read a long time ago (dont know if it's true or not but it's still funny) where some hobo was living in a really unventilated area, and seeing how he was poor could only afford beans and cabbage...he died from gas suffocation LOL and when the paramedics tried to revive him, one of them just passed out. I thought it was hilarious.

lol well people in the immediate area notice but I never checked up ahead to see if people 10 rows ahead are shaking their heads and looking to shame someone.as for more beans I agree I need lots more of these in my diet however my g/f has banned them from our house because of me and the three boys (15, 12, and 2) she feels out numbered and I suppose we do have her at a disadvantage

You'll have to look 10 rows back. If they're squirming back there, then you've succeeded.The problem with gassy foods is that they tend to be very healthy to eat. Beans are good food.

Aha. I have no advice about this, but I will tell you this...I don't fart often, but sometimes, when I fart...well...My husband gags. Which I think is hysterical.That's all I really have to add to this conversation.

What is worst is eating protein and simple sugars together - the sugars encourage the intestinal microorganisms to flourish, and they then work on the protein.I've been experimenting with this idea, and I think there's something to it.

I think its story errr recipe time.....Myself and my oldest brother have een torturing each other for years.He refuses to eat anything with sugar aside from Christmas an birthdays and Thanksgiving. He reeks. I mean enough to bring tears to your eyes and I mean that in a literal sense. Lots of protien, very few carbs and no sugar.i however eat anything I feel like eating and can never beat him when we are in a car or tnt together.He was always winning and I had to come up with a way to beat him, or atleast get close to even for one trip.Few years ago we went backpacking about 15 miles into the wilderness area of the Uintahs. That Morning at 2 amwe took off in my truck and drove teh 2 hour to the trail head. Stopped in Park City for breakfast at a 24 hours Dennys. I had a omlet covered in bacon and some juice, couple cups of coffee and when we got back to the car a granola bar. within 30 minutes he was choking and gagging and since it wa my truck I was driving and had control of the windows. I took several punchs to the arm and ribs. that night after dinner (fresh trout and another granola bar) we sat around the camp fire reliving our childhood and playig name that song wich always leads to being drunk and cannon balling cheap rum (Montego Bay) and singing Frank Zappa songs. Into the tent to pass out for the night, and I cut looses some of the worse farts ever to be let go. He got up and slept outside on the ground butn ot with out a few shots and a few farts of his own. alone in the tent in my seeping bag I made myself sick.so long as you eat some protein, a shot of granolo seems to get things rolling and shooting. We still go backpacking together and the goal is to climb ever high point in every state now, the granola always seems to clean me out and get everything moving in quik order.I like to munch alot of simple sugar while we are walking too for quik energy, since I accidentally stumbled on this I always have granola when we go on our trips and I can alway sholdmy own against that deviant bastard.As to the woman who gags her husband, I know you! you live in Utah and are my future sister-in-law! Dan has complained many times about this Jenny, keep i mind when you do that to him Im doing it to your sister.Or is there another woman out there that has taken the farts are histerically fucking funny attitude from men?

Must be another woman, seeing as how I'm located in Canada

well god damned! that makes atleast two of em!this cant be good for the world oh mee oh myIf everyone descovers how much farting is, the world is in serious trouble

Women have much more sensitive senses of smell, in general, than men do. They are like bloodhounds.The sense of liberation a guy feels when his lady has a head cold is indescribamamble. (D'oh! The Bush part of my brain just kicked in.)

I agree! well with some of the shit you spoutd off I do anyways. In reply to: Women shriek non-stop about how bad guys stink when they fart, then they act like they fart sunshine and kittens from their assholes when they rip one. I fucking love this line, Im stealing it and using it elsewhere as my own. In reply to:a guy's fart is something to behold, like a fine wine you swish in your mouth and spit out to savor the flavors. THAT is just fucked up. if you can taste a fart and savor it in your mouth then it wasnt a fart it was "tub girl"if youv neve seen it, google it and watch the video its really very disturbing, but fits your description. In reply to: When a woman farts, it can best be described as "efficient." The sound is a modest toot; a minimalistic, almost innocent sounding release. A true testament to the jumbled bundle of neurons that goes into mapping every woman's brain to her asshole. The efficiency comes from the ratio of reek to weak (how bad her fart smells in proportion to how weak-sounding it was). This describes my g/f! however her sister, she farts loud and proud and brags about em.Giggles because your suffering from her anal leakage andponts and laughs when you make a face. Its odd, shes a rahter attractive girl, in her late 20's, petite and very pretty, but she farts like a trucker. In reply to: Either fart loud and deny it, or don't fart at all I never deny it ! Shit son Im proud of my ass gas, I brag about it and try to make em as loud as i can and share them, unless im in a glass elevator and can run around the outside and watch people play who farted while holding thier shirts over their noses and mouths then Illlet it slide out softly and quite like, or in a crowded place i like to let em slip and watch the reaction. Also when theres people around if ya fart loud they walk off (sometimes desired effect)but let em slide and they all get a wiff before they know that ther is any dirty air floating round and rounddifferent situations require differnt techniques for farting but never deny it unless you can blame it on a woman or a child then deny deny deny and point fingers