Problems starting a relationship due to lack of confidence

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i have some self confidence problems for which im doing a course to hopefully reduce it because im really going to end up lonely if i dont get it sorted. anyway, its really becoming a problem now. i had heaps of self confidence i had just got back but it came as soon as it went after i got raped. the problem now is that there is this guy and i like him, he likes me but as much as id like to be with him i just feel like i cant actually be with a guy due to this confidence problem. i would love to be with him but i get embarrassed so easily and constantly feel awkward. im going through serious steps at the moment to merely make eye contact. i havent made eye contact with anyone in so long i have no sense of what is normal and what isnt. how long you look at them before it becomes staring etc. i know it sounds stupid but i could really do with some advice because sooner or later im going to enounter him before i finish my course and i just dont want to appear like some shy little girl. my best friend is friends with him and he said to her that i seemed very insecure and shy but it didnt seem to detur him. im not sure if he might be the one to give me the time of day and appriciate that i have problems. i just dont know. im so messed up at the moment, i need some input from someone that has some sort of grasp on reality. any help at all would be great, thanks :frowning:

At the risk of beating this into the ground, you really, really need one-on-one counseling. It just doesn't make sense to suffer the way you have been. There's nothing bad about talking to a counselor, psychologist, social worker, etc.I have an acquaintance who is a psychologist, and deals mainly with teens who have issues like yours. He has helped a lot of people. Your situation is not unusual, and your feelings are not unreasonable.

thanks steve. ill see if i can do it through the school. they have people who deal with drug and self harm problems so even if i could talk about the self harm it would help i think. i dont particularly want to tell my parents about it. i tend to act normal around them so they dont really know i have this problem with looking at people or self harm or the rape thing. ill see someone on monday about it. thanks again steve. i just needed that extra little push i think

That is the best news I've heard all week. :wink:

Indeed it is!