I do not understand. My mom cares about me, but she never believes in me. Always telling me I am going to fail. I told her tonight that I am not ready to go back to Purdue and she says I bet you do not go back, just like she did this semester and just like she said I would not do well at Purdue. Can I have a parent that would believe in me for once? I mean my dad stops talking to me, so no help there, and then my mom is always putting me down, calling me dumb, and telling me I cannot make it. Or she will try and make me feel guilty....I mean what do I do to deserve this?
Why Do Parents Do this...or at least mine...
Confront her about it. If she loves you then she'll listen.
3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
She says your gonna fail prolly because YOU say that. If you went up to her and said "I'm going to go and Im gonna succeed!" she'd prolly say "okay" and not say your dumb.
Maybe you ARE just stupid?
Still searching ...
It doesn’t sound like there is a positive environment in your house. I can’t say why your mom does that, but she shouldn’t...
Parents are people too. None of them are perfect and there really isn’t a book that tells you how to raise kids the best way. They only have to pull from how they were raised…. Good or bad, they sometimes they forget that their job is to get you ready to live on your own in this world and offer guidance. Instead they begin to realize how dysfunctional their childhood was and they start trying to re-live their life or correct the mistakes their parents made thru you.
Always follow thru when you give your word to anyone about doing something. If you have some history about not finishing out what you planned, perhaps she’s thinking you have not changed and will follow the pattern. By keeping your word and following thru, you will just have to be above the remarks and reassure her you will do it and make sure you do. That way she can’t throw it back at you.
Hang in there. Remember this... In spite of what parents scream at you…The only person you will ever have to answer to, when it all comes down to it, is you. You have to be accountable for your actions and if you fuck up, well accept it, deal with this and move on.
My outlook on life is this. Life is about learning how to accept who each of us are, understand and be happy with yourself, find someone to love and share your life with so you’re not lonely. And never cheat or lie. As long as you give it your very best and you’re happy.
A parent’s job is to help guide you, give you the knowledge and understanding of the basics and then support your life and the decisions you make. Legally, here in the states, we can only “Control” your decisions about your life until you’re 18…. At that point, you can actually tell your parents to kiss your ass and there nothing they can do about it. Although, I really wouldn’t recommend burning family ties or bridges. You never know when you will need them for something and if that door is closed or was slammed shut.... Too bad for you…Think before you light that match and burn that bridge....
Good luck and remember, your parents make mistakes all the time, especially when they think you are going to be making the same mistakes they did... That’s when they try to plan your entire future for you…lol
We do it because we just love ya…. Unconditionally!
Some people are just negative people who see the bad in things much more easily than the good. Unfortunately, it's unlikely they will change much, so try to balance their views with other, more positive, people - and leave home as soon as you can.
I know exactly how you feel hun, and it's not easy nor is it fair. I know what it's like to be talked down to daily, but it's something you have to learn to take with a grain of salt. You and I both know that your mother is wrong, you are not dumb (not even close), you're a very intelligent person. You can do anything you set your mind on, and it doesn't matter if you have someone cheering you on the whole way, if you think you can succeed at it then you will. People's words only have as much power as you give them, and they can only bring you down if you let them (that's one thing I'm having to work on myself, not letting someone's words have more power than they should). Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're ignorant, that you're a failure, that you can't do it because sweetie you can do anything if you'd only believe in yourself. You're a sweet, caring, compassionate, and very intelligent person. Don't let anyone tell you any diffrent because they're the ones who are "dumb" for not seeing it in you.</font color>
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it. </font color>
<span style="font-style: italic">things we've learned from the movies - - when they're alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other....
well now she is not talking to me...Great now I have no parents that talk to me. I mean what i wrong with me, am I bad kid. I mean I understand the meaning of college and that is why I am staying off one more semester to get myself straight, so that I can succeed. I do not do anything bad, i have pretty much stopped drinking. I am a good kid, or at least I thought so.
Jon you're a great guy, and i can't imagine why your parents act that way, i would say from my perspective they are insecure especially your mum, if you succeed in life you have done better than her, and your dad sounds insecure that he has to bully you to make himself the big man sigh that just my interpretation of your posts.
Believe in yourself hon, YOU are the only one that matters. </font color>
Get a taste of Old Time Religion..........lick a witch grin<br />
It's probably just your Mum's way of encouraging you. Perhaps by saying "Yeah, I bet you'll fail", she thinks it will give you the drive to succeed and prove her wrong.
I was just thinking the same as what Helms said. She probably has issues that have are a result of something else. She's lashing out but unfortunately you are in the crosshairs. Don't blame yourself. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you.