I dunno. Maybe this is the wrong forum to be posting this but i figure its as good as any (not like anyone else pays attention to the forums). Lately i think the stresses are getting to me. My parents and my relationship is strained as ever its my juinor year of college and its hard. really hard ive never actually met something i cant accomplish. My dear friends wife is dying and theres nothing i can do. My fiance is actually taking this whole getting married thing seriously and i dont know. we're not even getting married for two years and he wants to talk about places and honeymoons and stuff. i could be pregnant and its freaking me out (patch works as well my ass) i cut myself for the first time in weeks last night and it felt amazing the release i needed and then boom guilt, and the omg its veiw able (not on my inner thigh like normal). ive been obsessive over the smallest things lately. like the letters on my keyboard are wearing out and i have a little dirt under my nails, i should sweep my floor. Right now im rambling like crazy. I havent slept in 2 days. I feel like im in the bell jar or something right now and i cant handle all of this i thought i could but i cant I feel like ive fallen and cant get up. Everything is just going thru the emotions, and im really despondent from my life as if im veiwing from someone elses eye and i hate what i see.
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Falling
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To deal with the current crisis, you should visit your doctor, who will probably prescribe an anxiolytic so you can get some sleep. That's for the short term. For the longer term, you need some way of dealing with the stress and worry instead of bottling it up. Perhaps some form of counselling could explore some options?
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Hon beleive me this will pass, and things will get better, i have been through times like this, and worse, and im here, and more importantly happy and enjoying life. big hugs >>>>>My dear friends wife is dying and theres nothing i can do. No, there isn't, apart from being there if he needs to talk or for a hug. I think the lack of control is the hardest thing about a terminal illness, you just have to sit back and watch them die. As harsh as it may sound hon, its not your family and for that you should be grateful. Be strong for your friend. >>>>>>My fiance is actually taking this whole getting married thing seriously and i dont know. we're not even getting married for two years and he wants to talk about places and honeymoons and stuff. well it is usual for someone to actually get married to who they are engaged to LOL You fiancee is probably just feeling a little insecure at the moment, there is no doubt he can tell there is something wrong with you, and maybe hes thinking its him - as men do. So why not just tell him how your feeling, and ask him to drop all the wedding planning for a bit. If you can't talk to him about the way you feel you shouldn't be engaged to him. >>>>>>> i could be pregnant and its freaking me out (patch works as well my ass) get a test, find out, and then you can deal with whatever the outcome is.Tackle each of your problems one by one, and gradually the feeling of everything being on top of you will lift. However, you have to find the root of the problem, why you started to feel like this will probably not go away even when you get the other stuff sorted. I'm here if you need me. hugs
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well it is usual for someone to actually get married to who they are engaged to LOLHehehe I know that I talked to him this morning, about everything and he seemed really concerned especially with the the whole snipping thing and he understands. We talked that i might be pregnant (and how that can only make things with my parents worse) so now we're going to the doctors tomorrow to get a real test. About the engagment, I told him i wanted to hold off planning for a little while till i got everything sorted out and he was fine with that. He's so wonderfull, i dont think i give him enough credit.> You have that information in your PM if you ever want to use itI know and i appreciate it so much, you all are so wonderfull on here. big hugs
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Im really glad you got to talk about things. The best thing about being in a relationship is that you don't have to go through things alone, it sounds like your man is a wonderful guy, and will be there for you, use him when you need him, and i meant in a supportive way not in a sex slave way ya minx big hugs
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Angel is right (how many times am I gonna write that..lol ) use your man to lean on, don't dump on him but lean on him. As a man, we love it when we can feel like we're helping, caring for, or just being there for our woman. I guess its the protecting your woman and feeling like a man thing. Anyway, use him babe, not only will it help you, but it will make him feel good to be there for you, plus it will help make your relationship stronger. A piece of advice, deal with things only as far as you have control over them, and then dismiss them for the rest of the day or until the situation changes, to where your actions can have some impact. Also, read softly use him in a sexual way, as a man, we like that to...lol
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First, this is all bullshit.
Al this bullshit is called life and ther is little of it that you can change. People die and you should grieve, thats normal. the rest of it is stuff that you can do little to nothing about so relax.
You have some choices to make about being pregnant and your relationship and some things to talk about with your man.
untill you can do that put it out of your head. Relax. Even if you are pregnant its not the end of the world. Millions of people have ha a baby at an inoppertune time and survived. Its not easy, but it is possible Iv been through that myself.
Everyone here has advised you to see a Doc, get some sleep. all of that. Im forced to agree with them. As to the cutting, I know several people(all girls incidently) that are cutters. a few of them have taken it an turned it into other more posative things. One is 19 years old now and is currently in school to get into psychology and wants to be a counselor for girls that cut because she said that not one of the people and specialists shes talkd to i all the years knows what shes going through and they they dont understand how cutting feels. I think shes right on this and since Iv never been a cutter I cant really advise you on that but, another girl I knw stopped cutting and gets tattooed instead. she calims that getting ink and piercing feels about the same for her. Its all pain and its all blood and a release. Doesnt make any sense to me, but then Im not a cutter. Maybe it makes sense to you and will help?
Anyways......
stop and think about it all. change what you can and make the descisions that are right for you in regards to al of it. Just make sure you get some sleep before you think it out and make those decisions. Iv gone days at a time with no sleep because of work an personal things. after the first night you can no longer make rational thoughts and your cognative thinking ability drops sharply to a nonexistant process.
Sleep, talk to the doc, talk to your man and then think about it and find out what al the options are and what you can affect change upon. Then act. -
Angel is right (how many times am I gonna write that..lol ) I love you, you poor deluded soul LOL
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Java, hon, I wish I could tell you something that would magically make a difference. But after many more years of crisis than you (including the shit I'm in now) I can't tell you anything other than time really does heal. The physical scarres I've given myself will never fade as won't the mental ones.If you can, take a moment to think of the positive. I care about you and I hardly know you. That must mean that you are a good person or a good lier. Others here care about you (same provisions )just hang on and make sure you tell us when it all gets better (because it will)
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Time doesn't always heal (talking about emotional scars here)
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yeah "time heals all" is a bit of an overly simple statement. I can say though that the more distance you can put between you and a trauma, the better.My current situation aside, the women that have brought me to the brink in the past are irrelevent now. I still see the scars on my body but in my mind, the moment has long passed.Make sense?
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one thing for me, my parents found out i cut and now they think i worship the devil! cuz they don't kno that cutting is actually pretty common and not that serious. They think i could have died from it, which is prolly imposyble. and my cuts arent anything deep or big! and i tried to tell them it isn't that serious but they think that no one has ever done it!
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Everything is look better now. I have my new fella Greg that I'm absolutely head over heals for. My grades are back, and I'm taking a semester off for traveling coming up in January so I'm excited about that. My sleep patterns are still sporadic at best. But, I haven't cut myself since that time i screwed up which is good, (Greg means more to me then the release). I've turned into a bonified germ-o-phobe though, but not that bad. My trip has me excited and i feel like everything is sort of...settling how it should be. My parents, well on step forward two steps back but we're starting to level. I think my dad realized he was going to lose me if he didn't calm down about some things. Now, I just hope this isn't the calm before the storm.