Dad problems

---

My dad gets talk with my teacher yesterday and she said im not focusing at school and my dad talks to me. He has serious anger problems. He always yells at me, sometimes he gets violent and start smacking me in the head or sumthing, but my dad and my sister get in the biggest fights, with punching and kicking and throwing stuff. My mom begs him to stop but he doesn't care and starts going crazy.So, yesterday he gives me the talk and says how you are going to be a dishwasher and never succeed in life he tells me to bring a book from school he wants to look at, but the next day i forget and he comes home and he starts yelling at me violently and he starts swearing and tells me that hes goimg to beat me up ?? and he doesn't care if he goes to jail and make me go to the hospital. He always threatens me and i dont like it. I can't even talk to him if i tell him "stop yelling" he goes crazy again and he violently starts yelling at me and sumtimes gets physical. How can i tell him that i don't like him and want him to stay out of my life because he thinks hes helping, but his anger gets in the way.

sumtimes i just hate my life, but i've seen kids who go out alot worse i can't even image what they are going thru

Well you do not want him out of your life. My dad has been out of mine for 6 years and let me tell you it is not so great and my dad is a dick as well, but its dad. As for his anger, let him know. Tell him that you love him, but his anger is affecting your relationship with him. I imagine you will see that if his anger improves your school work will get done. Sometimes something like that can get your mind off of the important things in life.It sounds he is worried about you but he is not expressing it the right way.I have a step dad that has an anger problem. He gets physical and I get physical with him. It is no fun and the more violent you get the worse you will feel. Just let him know and if he takes steps to improve then things should get better. If it does not and he gets more violent, then you need to tell the authorities b/c it is unsafe enviroment for you.

I understand what you mean cuz my dad has an anger problem but he doesn't get physical. When he flips out on you for some stupid reason, try to ignore him (i know it's hard to do but try). If he gets physical, get defensive. You dont' have to take physical abuse from anyone. If it gets bad enough, you can seen outside help, like a councillor.

I agree with JenJen. You have the right to defend yourself because physical abuse, esp from a parent, it not aacceptable. If it gets bad enough, you can seek help simply from your local police department. They will step in and get your father help.

my dad yells a lot but sometimes he gets violent, but i just knock him over.

If things get serious you really need to tell somebody about it. It could be dangerous.
My friend sent me this in an email and it's really sad about child abuse:

my name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

:frowning: so sad

it is sad how stuff like that does happen

thats awful

but you know at least you don't get beat. I get beat sometimes if it's as serious as disobeying or something like that. And I get hit for like every syllable it's like: "don't *smack* you *smack* e *smack* ver *smack* do *smack* that *smack* a *smack* gain *smack*"
Torture... be happy you just get hit in the back of the head. The closest object (that's not sharp or hot) is whipped across my skin. And then afterwards I get a "I do this because I love you" mhm right. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

But my dad RARELY hits me. Mostly because he's afraid he'll do some damage. He only grounds me. Beats my brothers but not the girls. My mom does that. A couple of weeks ago she was at the bottom of the stairs and I yelled down to her that I "hate being in this stupid house"... I've never seen her run up the stairs so fast in my life. Evil.

There is a lot of violence in your house. There is a problem. It would benefit you and the rest of you family if you'd get some outside help.

In any case, what your parents are doing is illegal. And it doesn't seem to be doing much good for your brother.

I don't know if I'd call it illegal. I guess it's more like a discipline thing. My oldest brother who had the issues doesn't really but when he was younger.

It is not a discipline thing. It is illegal. Assault doesn't become legal when you do it to your child or spouse. I'm concerned that you don't realize that.

oh... well maybe we see things differenly because it's sort of common to get a beating if you've acted up. It's happened to basically all my friends from both school and church. We actually used to compare the marks we endured and why. Shame

That is shameful. And wrong.

Yeah, thats pretty bad in my opinion. My dad nowa days doesn't hit me at all basicly, but he does threaten it if I am being bad. Only hit me a few times when I was younger, but only like a smack or two. Once time my brother and I were yelling, and he like broke the door.... kinda funny.... And I guess it would be that disapline thing but only to a certain point.

My understanding, Steve, is that courts in the US (and many other countries) do permit a certain amount of physical punishment of children by parents that would not be permissible if done by others. Whether JapanFan's treatment goes beyond that I don't know.

Okay, my parents stopped spanking me when I was in 4th grade. When I asked why, they told me it was because I am no longer a little kid, and so they would not punish me like one.

Although I don't get "spankings" anymore (I'm a little too old for that seeing as I'm nearly 20) but I still get the occasional slap from my parents. It doesn't happen very often, but it still happens ocassionally when I "pop off" to them when I'm fed up. Never have I raised a hand back to them, but I have blocked their slaps many times leading to many more fights.

japanfan14, i just looked on your profile and just realized you were a girl....i thought you were a guy, and i didn't think your mom slapping you was that bad cuz i thought you were a guy, but i think since your a girl the beating is bad (i think you should seek help from school or tell the doctor whats goin on whenever you go)