this is a novel of a post, but yeah...one might get the impression that I'm a total druggie from this post...thats not the case, I'm a freshman in college, a pothead and an alcoholic who is experimental with other things on slight occasions, I'm asking for insightful answers...meaning if you're going to mention something about the drugs I do, criticise the habits I have, please just don't bother posting...thanksso here's the story...I've been in college for a couple months now, met this girl that I totally dig and vice versa. We've been hooking up for about a month now and there's a mutual understanding that we both really like each other.A couple nights ago, Halloween to be exact, this new guy started hanging around with our group of friends--which is chill, I love meeting new people, but I got this slight feeling that he was attracted to my girlfriend...they had some sort of intense conversation beforehand. We were all drunk and most of us had class the next day so slowly by slowly our friends headed back to the dorms until our group narrowed down to just me, my girlfriend, and that new kid. After smoking a bit of pot together between the three of us, I decided it was a good idea to probably head off to bed as well knowing I had a 10:30 class the next morning.Apparantly, the other new kid had been on some uppers and couldn't fall asleep and suggested watching a movie. I wasn't down for that and he invited my girlfriend to watch one with him...keep in mind they were incredibly wasted...both of them, she agreed to watch a movie with him..which got me incredibly jealous but I shrugged it off, bid them there goodnights and went to sleep.The nextr day I asked about it and seemed totally shocked that I would think that, she told me the truth was she went into their room and ended up passing out on the couch five minutes into the movie, when she woke the other dude was passed out as well on the other couch. Relieved, I forgot about it, but noticed that a few days later, she told me she had an obligation to call the other dude and hang out with him since apparantly, he had been calling her every other night and she had been kinda brushin him off.So whatever, they hung out, a little with our group of friends and that was that...I talked again about it and she told me she wasnt attracted to the other dude in the slightest and that he was just a really nice guy and she was also never do such a thing to me. Fine, I got relieved again.So now its Friday night and I decided to experiment a little with E, we all took some E that night and kinda held a big party in our suite. As the night progressed I noticed my girlfriend and the other dude were missing for most of the night, which worried me a lot. I called her up and found out she wasnt with him alone just a bunch of other friends as well which releaved me...so whatever, the night continued, I had my fun, and I noticed as it got really late she hadn't called me. I started coming down from the E and feeling the aftereffects of most uppers, depression, groginess, crankiness, and restlesness. I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep and ended up staying up the whole night just thinking about the situationwith my girlfriend and that dude. It started getting to me as I watched the sunrise and finally I met up with her in the morning. She looked like total garbage, the after effects of E were definetly kicking in on her as well because she seemed really moody and depressed like me.I decided to straight up bring it up and ask her dead on. "Did you hook up with G---?" she stared at me blankly, said "I don't know" and then proceeded to break down crying. She obviously did. we smoked pot together alone and talked it over, she was crying a lot and telling me how she was never attracted to him and that she knew I wouldnt want to be with her now and that she still really wants to be with me. Apparantly, because of the E, my girlfriend and the other dude were connecting on another level to the point where they would speak and literally finish each others sentences. and then it jsut happened. She told me it was that and they didnt even talk about it afterwards. My girfriend even said that she walked into the situation telling herself that she wouldn't h/u with him if he decided to make the move. Every time I talk about it with her she starts to cry and when I mention that if we DID get back together things wouldn't be the same she jst breaks down.I don't know what to do, I really like this girl so much, but cheating is no excuse, I really just want to forgive her and forget about it, but the thought still remainsin my mind that she did it once and itcould happen again. I just don't know. I'd like to just blame the drug, ecastasy, but I don't know, like I said I'm a first timer with E so I don't know if it provokes instant emotions for others or if it brings out the emotions already in the back of someones mind. If someone could help me with this situation, preferably someone who knows or has dropped E before, that be great. thanks so much --edit-- I'd also like to say that I havnt posted on this thing since 9/24/04, and it feels good to be back with people i can talk to and relate to in confidence.
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For people who have dropped E
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i've tried E once, although im not the kinda person who pops pills all the time, and i cant say i'll ever really do it aginwhen i did do it, it was in the same kinda enviroment as you, party at my b/f's place, i did get talking a lot to his friends etc thats what it makes you do, and yes you do feel on some different emotional level to people compared to what you are usually like..im sure your g/fs actiosn were very much based on the fact that she was on E, you just have to ask yourself if thats an excuse. i kinda got cosy with my b/fs friends, nothing romantic just talking a lot, he didnt mind, he had more experience than me with the drug and he said thats whats its like, you get closer to people...you just have to talk it out, how far did your g/f go with this guy?
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listen, E is great and whatever, but dont let her off the hook with it. think of it from a different point of view. maybe she knew she could get away with it cause she could blame it on the E? once a cheating slut, always a cheating slut.
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she just kissed him for about ten minutes, so she says, the truth was that they were hanging out for a rather long time watching the sunrise...it was outside, so the likeliness in them actually having sex or anything like that would be slim...still they spent a lot of time smoking pot together and talking in the confines of the woods which are very secluded on my campus...either way she seems really sorry about it, and everytime i even mention possibly having to end it, i see her face cringe up and tears well in her eyes...and that just kills me so much to see her in that state...idk...i just really don't know what to do.