My bf Aaron has been going through a serious wave of jealousy. I mean seriously he's really just overprotective over everything. At first I thought it was just funny and made me feel "aw he cares for me. that's what matters" but now it's like "dude, I need to breathe". I do love him alot but I don't know why he's taking things so seriously. His favorite line has become "SHE'S MINE!" or "back off!"lol. I don't know I guess it's a good thing but he needs to learn to trust me. There is barely anyone coming up to me and doing that sort of thing. I'm not going to fall for some other guy over him. There's no chance. He's turning into my dad who ABSOLUTELY doesn't trust boys at all and is overprotective over every girl in my family within a 100 mile radius. It took him forever to get used to Aaron and my mom had to put it in her own feelings about me being old enough to do certain things. It actually took a dad talking to dad sort of thing to get things straight. And that's even worse when it's two different races. It's been very sweet of him to back me up when his friends are around and saying perverted things to me he'll tell them to back off. And then it got a little more with everytime he thinks someone is looking at me he threatens the poor kid. But today one of my guy friends came over to my locker to ask me about some algebra assignment and he caught us talking and went ballistic (sp?). He was all like "what are you doing?! leave her alone! are you trying to hit on her behind my back?!" and he practically dragged me behind him while he's yelling at the poor guy about being a traitor. I tried to tell him it was ok and he goes "I can't take my eyes off of you for one minute before someone else tries to steal you." That would usually be a romantic remark with the whole "I can't keep my eyes off you" and now it's been reversed. I'm trying to let him understand that it's not that serious but I don't know how I can do that. He's like a soldier in the army and everybody is the enemy. Him and his friends are still cool but when it comes to me he gets so defensive. He got upset at me because I went to talk to my male teacher whom every girl in school thinks is hott and thought it was on purpose. I told him it wasn't a big deal and that it would be the same with any other male teacher and he not only brings out but emphasizes the fact the teacher is 25, the youngest one around. I don't know how I can make him realize it's not that bad and he just needs to chill out a bit and not take things so seriously. Any ideas before he becomes a 24/7 bodyguard?
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Too Jealous
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i dont want to put any thoughts in your head but there are 2 possible reasons why hes liek this.1. hes just crazy and you should probably not be with him if hes this controlling2. hes cheating you. people project feelings on their significant other all the time so there is a good chance hes behind your back with something. He might be an arrogant guy and assumes that you can't be better then him (by remaining loyal) so you must be doing the same thing as him by cheating on him.just ideas.
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> He's turning into my dad
Interesting. This guy is a nut job like your father, and he will likely get worse, as his insecurity grows. I don't know how you can fix the situation, short of telling him to take a hike.
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just tell him it's over if he doesn't relax a bit. tell him to loosen up and if that doesn't work then dump him.....i've also heard that people like that can become very abusive in order to try and "control" their partner. i used to be jealous too(not that bad) but in time i've come to trust more(i think too much now) but that was all because of an ex of mine taught me to relax....but the next week she dumped me anyways:P lol oh well life goes on.
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Judging by the fact that you're a 15 year old girl, I'm guessing that he's actually not as jealous as you say he is.What does her being 15 have anything to do with jealousy? Jealousy can happy pretty much at any age. Not only that one thing about JapanFan I notice, she doesn't seem to overly exaggerate too much.>Cut the guy some slack, I mean if you're a flirtacious girl, and it sounds like you are, he has a right to be jealous of you. Again how did you come up with that statement? I have never seen JapanFan flirt with anyone on these boards, if nothing else (And don't take this the wrong way JapanFan) she's been more prudish than most of us adults here.>If you were some uggo, and you never flirted with other guys and never shaked your ass to get attention, then I'm sure he wouldn't be overprotective.You'r making a VERY strong assumption there. Not all girls are slutty and flirt to get attention.And JapanFan I think you need to just have a sit down talk with your BF, and let him know how much you love him and how you don't want to be with anyone but him. And than let him know that, thought you appreciate the defending, that it needs to cool off. Let him know that at any time you feel threated by another guy you'll make sure to let him know so he can handle it. You just need to get him to understand that it's okay that you have male friends and that, as a student, you'll have to talk to male teachers. You just need to find a polite way to tell him that his over defending is causing a strain on the relationship. You're a very smart girl, so I'm sure you'll find the correct way to deal with this issue. Good luck to ya hun.
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This is exactly the shit Iv heard from my g/f.EXACTLY.her x hubby, did the same shit and soon it got tobe more and more about control. She ended up working in fast food because she wasnt allowed to go to any schooling because she didnt "need" it. She had dropped out of high school at 16 because she was pregnant. He came around her work and bothered her next, making sure noone was hitting on her when she was taking orders, screaming at her boss when he wanted her to have a day off and she was scheduled to work. Sitting in the parking lot making certain that she left work alone. She wasnt allowed to have any friends, she couldnt so much as goto a tupperware party with out him as her escort.after that it progressed from there. She got her ass beat because she was laying in the back yard in a bikini tanning. Another ass beating because dinner had a half hour left before it was done when he got hoe from work instead of being on the table. He bought her a pager (before cell phones were so cheap and so common) and if he called she had 30 seconds to call back otherwise he left work and she got her ass beat again. The entire time he was chatting to soe girl online in illinois and eventually, when she left his worthless ass after ten years of shit, he oved that girl to utah and married her. To this day he keeps tabs on her, bothers her by email and had even called the house to tell me about how she fucks everyone and anyone and is always cheating.After that he sent her flowers saying he was sorry about things with me and maybe they could work stuff out.She has protective orders against him and it doesnt matter. He continues to harrass her and bpther her and the cops do jack shit. After she had left his ass, he broke into her apartment and beat her, she grabbed the phone and ran in the bathroom, he ripped the base from the wall and kicked in the door to get to her and the cops showed up really fast, they charged him with interuption of a communication device and he paid 200 in fines for hs entire part in the ordeal.Theres more, much more. I however picked out soe of the high lights to ending up with a guy with those traights. Think about how hisbehavior characterizes him. If hes exibiting this type of shit this early in your relationship, its only going to get worse untill you stand up for yourself and leave and start making it better. After her marriage to that prick, she since hasnt put up with that shit, she went to adult ed and finished high school. got some easy certifications in computers, just enough to get on in a call center and get some work experience. that was before met her. since she has been with e, shes ended up getting her aba (associates business arts) and is working on the next step in her masters for computer network administration. At the same time taking her A+ and MSCS and C++ . She now lives with me and has a car of her own, a fulltime job and works in Network support for a major company (Unisys) as an agent on Capitol One banking.She did this because I trust her and she trusts me and we dont feel the need to check up on each other or control the other or be too jealous over what the other does.We still get pissed about toomuch flirting and attention the other one draws once in a while, but we trust each other and almost never have more thena minor argument and those are rare.It took her until she was 29 to start living a real life instead of the nitemare she was. She is now 32. It all started for her the exact way that your b/f is acting and led to all that shit and more.Dont let yourself fall into a trap like that and postpone your life or depending on how far it gets in his head, end it.Go read up on it, the news is full of storys of girls like you in the sae situation that end up being killed after being beaten for years. They all started the same as your relationship.Still got questions? still maybe want more information about it? PM me if ya like and Ill fill in any blanks in your head that I can.You, or anyone in a similiar situation, that offers open.
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I agree 100%, more if thats possible. Iv never said I love you with out meanig it and I dont belive that you love soeone that you try to control. if you love someone you try to help the grow, and be a better person.Sooner or later Ill get the chance to beat the dog shit out of her x asshole Im looking forward to it greatly.Thats the hole point of that post I made, so that japfan and anyone else that happens to come across this discussion in the future, see where it leads to, maybe they can get out before they end up in teh same shit?Noone should ever have to be in that situation. She wasted 14 years of her life because of bad choices, I hope that noone that reads this will have to go through the same thing as she did if they can see themselves in this situation maybe then can also see there is hope for getting out.I know when she left, she took advantage ofa program that helped battered women. set her up in an apartment and paid her first 3 months rent to get her on her feet again and working towardsa better job so she could take over the rent. Im sure if anyone else is in that type of predicament that there is a similar program where they live.It didnt solve all her problems, but it was a start.
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Thanks for the reply guys.
And you^... man there were so many things wrong with your post. I don't know where to begin. Ok number one, I am not 15, I am 14. Number two, I wouldn't have been posting in the first place if it wasn't as bad as I said. You're not at my school and you are not in the situation that I am in. Read ALL the facts in my post when I said it WASN'T as bad at first. Number three, (and thank God I'm a Christian or at least I have morals or I would be cursing your butt from here to timbuktu) What in the world gives you the right to say I'm a slut? Because that is basically what you are saying. You must have me confused with the little whores (forgive my language) that you've been messing around with behind your gf's back. I do NOT flirt with other guys like that, or at least the way your perverted mind thinks. I am dedicated to my bf and would never cheat on him. Shaking my ass? Please. Check yourself cause I am not the one. I don't know why I've bothered wasting my time. And I had a good day too.
To those who actually gave me reply worth my time. Thanks again. Common sense. Makes me think of Thomas Paine.