First time

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My boyfriend and I are very much in love, and we're waiting until we've been together for 1 year to have sex. However, I'm a virgin and although I'm not nervous about having sex with him because I know it is the right person, I am still curious about it. Does it hurt, is it uncomfortable, etc.? Please tell me what you know.

most likely it will hurt the first time, but it gets better.and another thing, I don't understand why you put a time limit on these things.

You're right, it does hurt the girl the first time. I can understand why you're waiting... but not exactly for a SPECIFIC time amount. I could understand if you wanted to wait until you were ready, but not exactly a certain time. But believe me, it DOES get a LOT better for the chick.

More than anything the 1-yr is just a benchmark. I told him on the first date that we wouldn't have sex before a year; it was sort of as an assurance that he's with me for the right reasons. Make sense?

Yeah. I guess he wouldn't stick around for a whole year if he was just chasing your vagina... then again, there are guys out there that set a new level of low.

I'm assuming your quite young?I'm just gonna say that if you do find it painful to tell your BF coz it doesn't hurt men and we can't always tell if that look on your face is a look of extacy or pain so just don't be araid to tell him how your feeling.But 1 year? Fookin hell.

Actually I'm 18, so not that young at all. We've already discussed everything and he's aware that it will probably be painful so he will be as gentle as he possibly can.

im not going to lie...it hurts like hell for the first few minutes, but the pain reduces rather quickly after initial penetration...just try not to think about the pain & enjoy having him inside you...trust me, it gets much better...& since you say the two of you really love each other, im sure that'll be a wonderful accomplishment in itself...

Thanks. What really sparked my curiosity was my first visit to the gynocologist two weeks ago. (My mom had cerivical cancer when she was 17, so we had to make sure I didn't have it too; and I'm 18, so I had to go.) Anyway, during the exam, my gyno commented on how small I am. I'm not one to use tampons, but that's just me. That, paired with the fact that I'm not yet sexually active (intercourse-wise), means that my opening is very small in comparison to other women my age. (For example, she couldn't do a Pap smear 'cause I was too small.) On top of that, my bf is relatively well-hung, so we figured, if I have trouble fitting a tampon up there, a good-sized penis isn't going to be too easy. Given there will be lubrication, etc. when it happens, I know that it will still be uncomfortable. I just wasn't sure if there would be actual pain. If anyone else has anything to add, please do.By the way, thanks, Sunshine, for your advice. I've always had a strong emotional "attachment" to sex, so even if it does hurt like hell the first time, it will be worth it because of who it's with.

i would suggest stretching yourself out a bit with your fingers so you dont end up crying your first time... start with one and move on up, then it probably wont hurt as badly, especially if your gyno couldnt even do a pap smear...thats probably going to KILL.

if you're really that small, it's definitely not going to be pleasent, even after a few minutes...i strongly suggest trying to loosen yourself up if you want any satisfaction out of sex, or you could have your boyfriend do it for you- :wink: that's always fun...other than that, make sure you have plenty of lubrication

Just out of curiousity--and don't answer this if you find it rude/invasive--how long were you with your bf/gf before you had sex and what made you decide to do it?

The first time i had sex I had been with my gf for 4 months. We did it because we were madly in love with each other and I think we rushed it. We ended up breaking up pretty soon afterwards. It sucked. My current sweetheart and I had sex before we were even officially together. We were just starting out and had a kinda random hook-up and took it as far as it could go I guess. But since we've been together the sex has been amazing and we're both really happy with our relationship. Just be sure you're ready for it emotionally I think.

I would try to help you out on this on, but I am in the same situation, I want to lose mine to my b/f who is already experianced, and he wants to do the naughty too.... but Im stuck in ur situation... but I already knew it is gonna hurt.... all I can say is... Have fun... cuz I hope i do when it comes to me! ~Casey~

My GF wants me to have sex with her also, but the problem we have lies with me this time.I just can't get it up! and then I start shaking and it all goes to hell. I don't think she'd have any problems though, because I've fingered her with 2 fingers (and I have wide fingers!) and she seemed ok with that after some stretching.It's just down to me, and it's a bit of a bummer that I can't really help myself along

you have a GF now?

uhhmmIs that the same Amanda I usually have bitch at me?I'm pretty sure you've made a couple of posts in my thread...and yes I do, and yes I know what you're going to say, and yes I agree, but I still feel bad on my part.

we had been together 5 months & were very much in love & still are...we just wanted to be closer to each other & had sex more for the emotional benefits than the physical...though that is part is great (the physical gratification), knowing we had been the closest we could possibly be & that we were each others first was the best feeling in the world and thats why we decided to have sex...perhaps it was too early, but neither of us has regretted it & we intend to continue, whether it be for that closeness or because it just feels good...it was a decision i don’t feel guilty about & am glad I shared that moment with someone I truly love

I'm really glad we're waiting so that we can get the most emotional satisfaction possible... especially on my end due to my situation. But it does get admittedly difficult at times, especially now since I'm on birth control (even though my bf and I won't have sex unless he has a condom too). But it's only about 2 1/2 months away, which in reality isn't long at all. I don't look down upon people who have sex "soon" in their relationships at all, that's just their thing and not mine. If you're ready enough to do that, go for it and have a great time.

im glad you've had the self-control to wait & i hope everything goes alright-im sure it will be quite memorable & wish you the best of luck