Fuck it

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I cant be bothered with anything anymore. Everything is too much hastle. Im usialy a pretty social person but lately I just cant be bothered talking to anyone. I really need to stop because its making me get behind on college work because I just cant motivate myself to do anything anymore. I have just stopped caring anymore, just been drinking for the hell of it and popping pills and things I wouldnt normaly do just because I cant be arsed to even try not to do them anymore. How can I motivate myself to care about anything anymore?

I have been in the same little hole for a number of months now, except no drugs yet. No motivation rocks.

I was sad the other day so I resorted to popping pills, all I could find was vitamin C tablets though

It certainly sounds like depression. Try to push yourself a bit to get out - not anything too difficult, but out into the sunlight (which is good for depression) and, if you can, a bit of exercise (which is also helpful). Don't try to push yourself to change your feelings, but rather to do small things.

Thats how Im getting. Im just pissed off. My sig explains it all, as does your title.

popping pills all the time, no wonder your down, i really cant face anything the day after

Yeah, I think its cus its winter and england and there is always cloud cover and it gets dark at like 4 now. I know sunlight and exercise help but theres no sunshine and I dont have the money for the gym. I'm not depressed, I mean I feel it sometimes but Im know there is no rational reason to be and just tell myeself to quit being a little bitch. But its hard not to get depressed sometimes in this shithole of a town. College work is just starting to pile up I havnt done anything and I know that if I dont pass this course I will never have anything. I dont have any qualifications because I was moved between two counrtys completely fucking up my education and alot of my life. So if I fail I am dead, I may as well go lie on the railway tracks, so I have to do it. If I do flunk college I wont have much left. I'm really thinking about getting some valium and taking it everytime I need to do college work to help me concentrate and calm down but I have not got any money. Bah dunno what to do.

I am so all-american, I'd sell you suicideI am totalitarian, I've got abortions in my eyesI hate the hater, I'd rape the raperI am the animal who will not be himselffuck it (x4)Hey victim, should I black your eyes again?Hey victim,you were the one who put the stick in my handI am the ism, my hate's a prismlet's just kill everyone and let your god sort them outfuck it (x4)Everybody's someone else's nigger/I know you are so am II wasn't born with enough middle fingers/I don't need to choose a sideI better, better, better, better not say thisbetter, better, better, better not tellbetter, better, better, better not say thisbetter, better, better, better not tellI hate the hater, I'd rape the raperI am the idiot who will not be himselffuck it(x4)Everybody's someone else's nigger/I know you are so am II wasn't born with enough middle fingers/I don't need to choose a sideAmerica can not see anything (x4)AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!fuck it (x4)fuck fuck fuckEverybody's someone else's nigger/I know you are so am II wasn't born with enough middle fingers/I don't need to choose a side

Did you write that?Are you saying that teens in the U.K. are depressed because they feel like America's nigger?

You can get some exercise without spending money by just walking (running is even better, when you're feeling up to it). I know how hard it is to get into the college work, especially when it makes you feel so guilty just thinking about it. Tell yourself you'll try ten minutes of it. Once you get started you often find then that it's a relief to have got started and you can do more than you expected to do.If you fail you can do it again. Of course you don't want to do that, but it's not the end of the world, it's something you can survive.

Yeah, I will try and do a bit of walking but I don't generally like going out walking in the evenings because I cant be arsed with people trying to start fights with me but I will give it a go.

The bellow is just a rant i got carried away but it made me feel better writing it so I will leave it in. Skip it if you like.

The problem is starting the work in the first place. My teachers are crap and don't teach us anything. We have 3 teachers for one subject of the course and what they tell us to do with the database all contradict each other so i have had to change it about 50 fucking times. I basically have to teach myself most of the time since they think PowerPoint slideshows for an hour straight is gunna teach us about it. After 5mins my brain gets so clogged up I cant even think, no one on our course knows what they are doing on the assignments either because of poor teaching. I have to just google everything and learn it and its so frustrating. I hate my college its so disorganised and crap, they are so fucking dumb. If they actually organised everything properly and taught proper lessons I would be finding it allot easier.

The worst is this one bitch Christine who thinks she knows everything. She tries to enforce some dumb rule of "no hats" no other tutor does it its college ffs I wanna learn. If she spent as much time teaching as she did arguing with people over petty shit people would get allot more done.

I ask her basic questions and she just replies with something irrelevant. Il say something like "hey christine in task 5 do you mean or " and she will be like "oh that question 5 last year it used to be different and the other students cried so I changed it, I think I will have to change it for next year too because its a bit outdated. You have to do draw a diagram for task 5". Its like WTF bitch I asked which one you meant, I fucking know how to do I just need a simple question with a one word response. I don't need a fucking lecture. I have to ask her about 4 times until she finally tells me, she speaks in fucking riddles like some kind of leprechaun. She makes me so frustrated I just wanna throw a PC in her face, but I have to be a polite lil fuck otherwise I wont get on the HND to go to uni. I'm sick of her fucking smug comments belittling certain class members who she doesn't like. The teachers are paid to remark work if you do corrections and resubmit. But my friend nick tried to resubmit his work and she told him he isn't smart enough to get a merit and doesn't deserve it so she wont even look at the merit stuff he did he will just have to get a pass. I mean WTF???????!?!?!? Its peoples fucking lives shes messing with, peoples futures. And there's fuck all anyone can do about it. I hope she fucking dies so I can shit on her grave and smear it all over her head stone. If she doesnt like her job why doesnt she fucking quit rater than fucking us all over.

I have tried complaining but they didnt do anything because the tutors are bum buddies and I dont wanna piss them off to bad or else they wont let me on the HND. I am 18 and there are people up to 22 on our course and they treat us like kids. Its college, I am fucking sick of being talked down to.

I just wanna go out and get a job because I get paid and wont get treated like filth everyday. Alot of stuff has been irritating me lately and making my life misserable and I am just getting angrier and angrier and caring less and less about anything. I dont even know what I wanna do, I just wanna go to bed in a dark room and stay there forever with tubes hooked up to me feeding me so I dont have to ever move or talk to anyone again. I got so many problems and college is just a small part of them. And when you have no motivation you cant sort problems out, its a vicious cycle and Im trapped in it.

Hmmmm got a bit carried away

It sounds bad.We have 3 teachers for one subject of the course and what they tell us to do with the database all contradict each otherSome educators think having multiple people teaching a subject is a good thing because it gives more variety, but you point out a serious problem. It sounds like they don't talk to each other.I basically have to teach myself most of the time since they think PowerPoint slideshows for an hour straight is gunna teach us about it.I agree - I think PowerPoint slideshows are a crappy way of teaching.She tries to enforce some dumb rule of "no hats"I've never heard of trying to enforce a dress code. Does she think they obstruct people's view?I ask her basic questions and she just replies with something irrelevant.My wife does this too - you get a long discussion on what she was thinking at the time, piled higher and higher with relative clauses, that veers off-topic faster than an A2A thread, and usually ends without the main clause. I've always put it down as something women do. she told him he isn't smart enough to get a merit and doesn't deserve it so she wont even look at the merit stuff he did he will just have to get a pass.If other people would get it looked at then he should make a formal complaint - this is serious unprofessional behaviour, lawsuit stuff.Its college, I am fucking sick of being talked down to.A university that talks down to its students is a bad university.You're right to complain.

If other people would get it looked at then he should make a formal complaint - this is serious unprofessional behaviour, lawsuit stuff.He wont take it to court kinda distance. If it was me I would because I cant stand tutors doing shit like that to me. She didn't get me to remove my bandanna today I think she gave up because I made sure I didn't remove it without arguing every time she did it. I don't really care about wearing it really she just pisses me off as its a pointless rule, were there to learn not look pretty. They are very very unorganised there, no one even knew when we started college after the summer vacation because no one even told us then the tutors got pissed when only half the class showed up. Basically I just gotta stick it until I am out then if I see them in the street I can mutter insults as I pass them.That kinda reminds me of when I was working in a grocery store and one of the people on customer services was telling me how some old woman came in and started giving her abuse. She wouldn't stop and even started throwing in personal insults because she wasn't happy with something to do with the store. She said she saw her in the street a few days later and pretend she wasn't looking where she was going and just bumped into her and knocked her on her ass and was like "oh i'm so sorry". ha ha i thought it was hilarious.

some old woman...just bumped into her and knocked her on her assYeah, that's pretty hilarious. It would have been a hoot if she broke her hip.Does anyone else in your class have an opionion? If everyone in the class got together and complained, you might be able to have some of your complaints addressed. It's a lot harder to go it alone.

>Yeah, that's pretty hilarious. It would have been a hoot if she broke her hip.

Hell yeah! She would have been in pain for week. Man that gives me a boner.

We have all tried complaining about stuff once or twice but it didnt do anything. We learned its just better to ignore it.

She would have been in pain for week. Man that gives me a boner.Actually, that might very well have put her in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. That doesn't sound like a good thing to spend your taxes on.You need to be less of an asshole and get more organized. If you complain a couple of times and don't get the results you want, writing 2000-word bitch-out posts aren't going to get you any further. It may feel good, but it's ultimately a big waste of time.If you guys got together and marched into the office of whomever in running your godforsaken college, you might get some results. I've seen it happen in real life. But if you let the bastards wear you down, you've lost.

Actually, that might very well have put her in a wheel chair for the rest of her life. Oh dude stop I'm gunna blow my load!!!!>If you guys got together and marched into the office of whomever in running your godforsaken college, you might get some results. I've seen it happen in real life. But if you let the bastards wear you down, you've lost. I would do it but no one else can be arsed because its too much effort so its all very well saying get everyone together but actauly doing that makes it alot harder. Personly I would do just what you said and have wanted to for a while.

Oh yeah the bastards put me on report on friday and 2 other people. Who they punish selectivaly, they said we are "not woring enough in class" when no one else does anything. I told them I wasnt working because I didnt know what to do and we had not been taught how to use this stupid database shit, but yeah I am on repeort now and could get kicked off the course for not working because I didnt know what to do. Grrrrrrrrrreat (like frosties)

Oh dude stop I'm gunna blow my load!!!!You could blow it on her crippled body, as she's writhing on the ground in pain. Then you could invite the other chavs for a gang rape.> I would do it but no one else can be arsed because its too much effort so its all very well saying get everyone together but actauly doing that makes it alot harder. Personly I would do just what you said and have wanted to for a while.If you're with a bunch of people who are having a hard time, but can't be botherd to do anything about it...that does suck.

You could blow it on her crippled body, as she's writhing on the ground in pain. Then you could invite the other chavs for a gang rape.Ha ha ha ha ha ha.Yeah I will call me boiz and dey will coum ova in veir novas wid da big spolaz and then we can fuc er in er arse INIT!!!!!>If your with a bunch of people who are having a hard time, but can't be botherd to do anything about it...that does suck. Yes it does, its fucking lame that I am the only one who wants to ever do anything about it and they think complaining to the teachers will solve their problems. I am going to make an anonymous email to the department of education about it and see if they investagate it but I doubt anything will come from it. I would give away who I am but I dont want to cause myself problems and get kicked off the course when I am so close to finishing.