Hi, Well my long term boyfriend ( 6 years ) has been acting kind of odd resently. Getting home 20mins later than normal, going home for lunch and not staying at his office, going out for the odd 20-40min drive's in his car. His mobile phone goes off an awfal lot with texts etc etc.I have joked with him and asked if he was seeing anyone else, and he laughed and said "who would want him", I also asked him about his phone messages, each time he says it's just a work mate or something like that. Each time I've challeneged him on it, he's become very upset and showed me his phone.. he even handed me the phone the other day and said i could keep it and read all his messages.. but I'm still unsure in my mind.What I have done, and shouldn't, is have a friend install a web-cam under our desk at home in the bedroom. Thus it will enable me to watch his movements at home when he's on lunch and I'm stuck in the office.So far it's just shown him sat in his chair, and nothing else. In some sense I'm hopefull it will let me see if someone else comes in the room... but other than him beating off to something online I've seen nothing !!He's on yahoo messenger, please don't post email especially someone elsesNow sometimes it wont come on at all...? although its set to auto autherise anyone with out him knowing..What I wondered was, do you think i'm mad and wrong for doing what I've done.. and ladies what tips would you give to me to help me see if theres anything going on.Thanks all for your adviceBecki
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Think he's cheating
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**As a woman i totally believe that we seem to 'know' when somethings wrong, even if we can't put our finger on it, but saying that it could be something entirly different than him cheating.
Personally i would have to sit him down and ask flat out, and tell him how i feel, if he couldn't explain things enough and i still had that 'bump' then I guess me being me i would change the way i was towards him.........its very hard to figure out, unless you either get proof, OR, they confess............I don't envy your situation. **
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How long has he been acting weird for? And maybe he's just being a man and pulling away for a bit, is he reconsidering anything with his job, home life or other problems?? x
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What I have done, and shouldn't, is have a friend install a web-cam under our desk at home in the bedroom.If I were the guy and I found the cam, you'd be out on your butt. That is really nutty. And the fact that you posted his e-mail address makes me think that your story is completely full of crap, and so are you.
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The reason I posted the email ad was cos I work a lot, and knew that honest people would check in on it and kind of report. I've sinced changed my mind over this !!It is wrong i guess to have people or expect people to check up on him for me, but I'm so confused over what to do at the moment.He started acting very oddly last Christmas, he would spend a lot of time out, he claimed he was always going to his friends or to the pub to catch up with mates as it was Christmas.At one point I asked him why he had changed, he said that since day one he had always done everything for me, and he had put his friends on hold in the mean time. He then said that cos we were both happy in our relationship he though he would catch up with some friends at Christmas.He would always invite me along, but I would decline, I often wondered if it was like a double bluff.. So maybe I've talked myself into this..I know he talks about not liking work any more, and how he would like to earn more money to buy his own 1st home.. but it's the little words like "his own"... I don't know, maybe its me..Sorry, just unsure of what to do.
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> The reason I posted the email ad was cos I work a lot, and knew that honest people would check in on it and kind of report.
By sending him e-mails? That's crazy.
> He would always invite me along, but I would decline, I often wondered if it was like a double bluff.
Did you decline the invitation and his cell phone so you could have paranoid fantasies?
Maybe he just needs some space. No one can be together 24/7. You may need some professional help to deal with your trust issue.
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If you dont trust him then it doesnt really matter your relationship is already over. Temm him your a nogood skank and he can do better.
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I understand that you are worried about it. Maybe he felt like he was losing himself in your relationship, it sounds as though he felt he compromised far too much for you and is now making up for lost time. He probably wants to spend time by himself and retreat a bit - just stop being paranoid and give him the trust and PRIVACY that he deserves - he hasn't done anything, and he is still with you so he obviously wants to be with you... stop worrying until there is something to worry about.
IMO, if he didn't want to be with you.. he wouldn't.