Brace yourselves, it's long, but I love you so...

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This is long so get out the popcorn and get comfy. If you really loved me you’d help puppy face. Not that I’m threatening you or anything hides whip.twitch twitchYesterday at 7:00 pm my parents went out with a couple of people to some meeting thingy majig. And so my siblings and I were able to go where we want. My bf invited me over to his house to watch Star Wars 3 (which is now the best movie I've ever seen in the history of life). So I invited my best friend and when I went over he was with his brothers and stuff but he has one twin brother(15) and two older brothers(17 and 19) all extremely cute. But we only stayed there for a couple of hours not extremely late probably till 12 because our parents didn't get back till around one, don't ask. But we were all watching the movie (and let me just say ewan mcgregor is a hotty) and of course my best friend was flirting with his oldest brother as usual since she has a huge crush on him. But anyway at one point during the movie I wanted to go get a drink of water and their house is GINORMOUS so I had to go all the way upstairs to the kitchen since we were in the family room near the basement. I felt like I was on some long voyage to find the lost city of the kitchen of the Andersons (note: use of exaggeration ). So I eventually got to the kitchen and you know when you have that feeling that you're being watched or something? Yeah that's the feeling I had and then the phone rang and immediately I thought of the movie scream (wild imagination) but it end up being his mom saying they were going to be late. So when I finally got my drink I turn around and what do you know? His twin brother is right there. Don't you think someone could make noise when they walk in a room? Jeez. But he said he was thirsty too so I got him a drink and he says to me "you know I never noticed before but you are really sexy" and I just rolled my eyes and told him to stop lying (and no, I'm not "sexy" he's a liar) and he goes “I'm not lying, I have a thing for milk chocolate”…thaaaaaanks. Big WOW. So I went to go wash his cup and he came up behind me for a “hug” (in my mind I’m thinking aw bendito because he put his head underneath my neck and it seemed harmless) but then he stuck his hands down the front of my pants, like all the way underneath my panties and rubbed his serpent-like body part on me, if you know what I mean. Knew I should have worn a belt. I was like wow um no. And hurriedly removed his hands and plainly told him no. But then he goes again and tries to pull my pants down so I pushed him off of me and asked him what was his problem. Then he has the nerve to say he’s sorry he didn’t know what he was thinking, and asked if he could talk to me about a problem he was having. So we sat at the table for a few minutes talking about some problem he seemed to have with girls and stuff. And then he said thanks when I gave him my input and he asked for a hug. Now you would think I would have learned from the first time but I’m thinking he just had a problem and needed help. Not the smartest thing I’ve done. But this time instead of pulling the little stunt he did before he went in to kiss me. Sort of a “choke someone with your tongue” type of kiss. But it gets better because my bf comes up the stairs and catches us. I felt like I was in some soap opera show that my grandmother watches every weekday. Being the overprotective person he is, my bf once again yanks me by the arm and pulls me away and gives me this look like “you little slut” and then goes off on his brother like he’s his parent or something. Meanwhile, I’m in the corner not knowing what to do. I didn’t even get to finish my drink, not like I was still thirsty anymore. So… for the rest of the movie and night I sat all the way at the other side of the room on his lap with him holding me in this sort of death grip while his brother was off in his room doing God knows what. Surprisingly, I didn’t get a lecture he just kept giving me these looks like I broke his heart into little tiny pieces. But honestly, who’s the real victim here? I tried to explain to him but he just kept saying he didn’t want to hear it. So what else can I do? I do care for him and I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. And he says he won’t dump me because he loves me too much. But what’s the point if he’ll never trust me again? I don’t know what to do even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal. But to me it is because hello, I’m Abs. The 14-year-old who never touches/touched herself but next thing you know I’m a slut. Where did all this come from? I tell you it’s a conspiracy by some unnatural force that just plain doesn’t like me. Did I seriously survive this treacherous week of school only to be punished? How cruel. But, any advice would help a lot, because I feel dirty right now. Like I was in the wrong. Oh and sorry it was so long. Guess I had a lot to say.

yeh you really should have slapped him or knee-ed him in the balls especially when he took advantage over you

Screw him and his brother.

His brother was a slimey little prick for putting his hands on you in the first place (hello, sexual assault) And your boyfriend is a prick for not listening to you, Honestly i wouldnt stay with him but thats just me.

Dont let it bother you, but i would deffinatly try a little more to get him to listen to you.

And i second what helms says, get a little self-defense training. When i was 14 my father taught me how to shoot a gun (which i keep in my nightstand but i never carry with me) and i keep pepper spray with me.

I have had to use the pepper spray more then once.

I simple stomp with the heel of your foot on the metatarsils of his foot does real wonders for making people let go of you :wink:
follow that by a qui kick ot the nuts and a big hand print on the side of his face.

It gets the point across and i your a man instead of a woman try a clsoed fist across thier face plante right on the end of the jaw. Instead of a ugly red hand mark on the face it often leans a broken jaw and an attacker knocked ass out on the floor. I guess a woman could do it too, just i dont normally know alot of women who actually want to cause serious damage.

Girly you got to do something about those little bastards. Both of them.

the guy is a asshole... and the brother ur bf is treating u like his property. there asses! it's not ur fault the asslicker touched u and u did right by moving him. i would say knock the fn shit out off the pusseater but whensht like htat happend ur brain just don't think. it's easy for people to say hit him.. slap him.. wutever.. it's easer to say defend for ur self (and really i think u did well by removing him from ur pants) than it is to do it. i know how ur feelingin a way.. the fucker touched ur place.. it don;t matter if it was likewut he did or on the outside of ur cloths .. it's still touching a place he had no Fn bussiness touching. his brother ... they both make me sick (by wut u had said) i been touched when i didn't want it.. i been property.. i still feel dirty (i have a good reson too thoguh.. u don't) ok that might sound bad but really.. u did wut u knew to do and that was getting his stupid ass away. now i know u fell for the let me have a hug thing agin but how were to know... u couln't have. maybe it's just my fucked mind but maybe it's good ur guy walked in oncuz wut if the slim head had gone futher..rape even.. and worse would have been that happend and the brother joined in.. k i'm making myslef upset now.. i not helping. it's not ur faultur not dirty i dk fn know i done got to fn upset to think

Well, maybe your boyfriend knows his brother has a problem, and so he could be mad at himself for letting his bro go up there with you. Or just mad in general. Maybe he needs time to cool down or something? But still, I think you and your boyfriend defintely need to talk about it, when you think he could be comfortable with it.

Also, his brother... wow. You should have seriously talked to him, especially about harassing girls.

And your self-esteem issues are cropping up again! I'm sure you are very pretty and beautiful, so why do you keep insulting yourself like that?

Thanks for the replies. It really helps. I don't know what's the deal with his brother but I know to think twice when around him. I think he really does have a problem but I can't be too sure. I know about the self-defense thing because I used to take a class in my school but like CR125 said, you sort of forget everything. I didn't want to hurt him though. I try to talk to Aaron all the time about it but he's too defensive. I can never get a word in with him. It's like everything I say is wrong as if I'm out to get him. I don't know. The whole self-esteem issue has always been there. I know I've been working on getting rid of it but I'm really paranoid about it. If someone says "oh you're pretty" I'll think well that person is probably just saying that so that I don't feel bad about not being pretty or some nonsense like that. It happens all the time and I guess I'm kind of used to it. I just came back from the movies. I went to see Harry Potter the Goblet of Fire. Really good. I went with Aaron and a couple of friends so that was pretty much a disaster too. But I won't get into it.

I'm pleased to reply to your 666th post.

You were assaulted, as if you were slugged. You should have defended yourself. The nearest object, applied forcefully to his head, would have done the trick. If your boyfriend won't listen to you, then he's really on his way to becoming an abusive man, as was discussed in an earlier thread.

That really sucks. Make your bf listen to you! MAKE HIM!Its this kinda thing that makes me glad I'm an only child.

learning a few moves to defend yourself would be a good idea, it makes you feel so much more confident in yourself, in general.As for your so-called boyfriend, he seems like a waste of space hon, if hes not doing anything about this, or even listening to you. You don't need someone like this in your life.

"If someone says "oh you're pretty" I'll think well that person is probably just saying that so that I don't feel bad about not being pretty or some nonsense like that."Interetsing. Loadsa girls say they arent and it always seemed to me like it was jus cos they wnated me to flatter them more or in better ways.

He's too protective to listen. I'm telling you it's like I'll get his attention and say something and then he'll go "woah that shirt is just a bit too revealing don't you think" when it's an unzipped sweater. Angel < Even though I know that's what I've been told many times by alot of people, it's sometimes hard to let go like that all of a sudden. Especially with the results I'll end up with. And I feel as though I do really really like him alot. So it's kinda hard to just break it off. Because I keep thinking, well you know he cares. I think I'm just confused about the whole bit though.

In reply to:He's too protective to listen.Think about what you just said. You could be talking about a batterer.

A batterer?

Its always easy to sit back see something wrong in someone else and tell them what to do to fix thier lives, but so often people cant do the same thing for themselves.Its easy to say dump him and hard for the one thats involved with him to do it.Noone here knows everything about what you personally go thru but when they say your better off with out them, I think they are right most of the time.Maybe not 100% of the time but this is advice coming from alot of people that are older and have been thru more then you seen how the bad shit starts and can recognize signs that its turning that way because they have been thru it so many times before they put thier heads together and said enough of this bullshit!People are victems because of many reasons and until they recognize that fact and decide that they are no longer going to be treated this way and stand for it, they will continue to be victems.Maybe everyone is wrong about your situation and all is fine for you and this is an isolated incident, and its jsut him not knowing what to do, but maybe they are right.Its not easy for you to say fuck him Im done with this shit but I think you should atleast consider that the people you asked for advice and then they responded do know something about it and that maybe they are right.I would jsut ask that you keep an open mind and watch for other signs that this is heading south and its time to dump him. I dont think anyone can advise you accuratly based on a single incident (is there more Im not aware of?) but I think that they have your best interests at heart and that you need to start paying more attention to what he does and what he says and how he acts, its all clues as to the long term treatment you will recieve with him.If it continues to go to shit and show signs that its gong to be shit, then for hell sakes end it. Dont wait for it to get out of control and really bad.

batterer - a guy who beats up a woman because he doesn't trust her; he might even think it's for her own good. It usually gets weirder as time goes on. The guy will keep the woman on a shorter and shorter leash until she has no life independent of him. Besides financial issues, the woman will often stay because the guy breaks down the woman's sense of self-worth and independence.

Now I'm not saying that that description necessarily fits your boyfriend, but the signs are troubling.

> this is an isolated incident

It's not an isolated incident. It's a pattern of behavior.

Well I thought it may just be a isolated incident, Im not familiar with everything she has written and left that open for her to recognize and decide or maybe for someone more familiar with her to point out.If you can actually decide its a pattern, and not a one time thing where the guy made a mistake and has realized that he did and he is able to correct it and not let it happen in the future, then its probaly time to take everyones advice and end it before it gets worse.If the relationship is great and one of the two decide they want out then there is no point letting it drag on and on making it worse and worse and harder to do just to spare feelings. If your in a relationship that isnt great, that involves abuse and leaves the door open for more then there is even more at risk by letting it go on and on.The sooner its ended the better.

Yeah I know what you mean but then it's like what if I'm overexaggerating over the whole bit. I know what his brother did was wrong definately. All of his brothers sort of creep me out actually. They don't even have a sister. Good thing probably. I haven't really experienced something that bad actually so it's because that happened I get the feeling I'm making too much of a big deal out of it. To just get over it. There a tons of people on here who have done worse right? But in a good way. I don't really want to just toss someone I like away over something that may not be that serious? (question mark because I'm guessing )Steve < that sounds a little too serious and kind of frightening. I doubt or rather hope it won't come to that. but I guess it's denial. But honestly, if I live around a bunch of overprotective people including family and friends who just happen to be males would that really make a difference?