do you wanna hear more about nov 7th , 2002 or 2003 the day that i was put in counseling after i moved her in august 1999..? ( Just Wondering)- well its was 6th hour and we were having a free day and i was fighting with my friend Jenifer and then my body felt numb and i was shaking all over.. the i got the pin out of my pocket and sliced my hand.. then mrs. russom sat me on the floor and told me to stay their till she got mr. allen and the nurse... then the nurse came and look at my hand and the the nurse and mr. allen took me to mr. allen's office wher mr. linkous was sitting and they ask me why i did it and i told them i wanted to see if i was still alive... then mr. allen walked me to Officer Kris's office and i had to show her my hand and tell her why i did it. then she walked me back to mr. allen 's office and i had to stay there till the buses came. .... the i cried all the way on the bus ( 50 mins drive) and when i got home mom was waiting for me in the kitchen and i said mom i'm going for a bike ride and she said no ! stay here i need to talk to you..she grabbed my arm as i tried to run out of the house screaming mr allen told you , didn't he .. and she was like yes he did now show me your hand. .....then i showed her my hand and then she told i can go 4 a bike ride but whe dad gets home we will talk again... then we talked when dad got home... in the middle of the discussion , the girl i was fighting with jenifer called and asked my mom if i was ok.. and mom said anna, would have to talk to you later we are having a discussion right now.. then nov 8th i went to talk to Dr. coker for the first time.DO YOU HAVE ANY ?'S OVER WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU?DID ANYTHING THAT I JUST TOLD YOU SHOCK YOU? DID THIS BRING ANY MEMORIES BACK TO YA'LL, WHEN YOU WERE A CUTTER OR IF YOU STILL ARE A CUTTER?
** TEARS **
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THE DAY OF nov 7th , 2002 or 2003
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huh?
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Hi,Firstly I am aware that this is quite an old message and so no one will probably see my post. Oh well…Secondly, I can’t say that the post brought back memories but it certainly reflects the fears that I have. I’ve been cutting for a year and have told no one. No one knows. I think that lots of people who SI, and I can only talk about from what I have herd and seen, want no one to find out because they fear that what you have described will come to pass. On the other hand some of us want other people to know, for many reasons.I hope that one day you can move beyond this, and I am humbled because I don’t think that I could have coped so well if my parents or friends even found out.It shocks me in that, despite the fact that there are SO many people out there that cut them selves; some people can be so insensitive.I wander how you found (are finding?) the counselling, and how you have dealt with everything after that one day.“Just as children seem foolish to adults, so humans seem foolish to the gods”- Heraclitus
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In reply to:
no one will probably see my post.
i did. lol
yeah, some people want no one to find out while other's want other people to know.
It's funny you say that ( well not funny but that's the only way i could think to address it) I never wanted any one to know. i hid for so long, kept things to myself for a long time. the best thing my parents did was to get a new computer so we could have this one. then my brother stumbled onto a site. in anger or fustrashion and a lash out, i guess u could say, i let out a little pice of what i was hidding. I never thought that things would go the way they did. acually i wasn;t thinking at all. i was pissed cuz i didn't understand that person. some one, who is now a tight bud, got to talking with me. I thought I could tell him some things. what could he do. It is way eser to tell a screen things any way. He's attmitted he thought i was all bullshit......and i can bet every one else does too. personaily i don't really give a F**k what any one thinks. i'm not sure y he chatted with me, maybe he was checking me out. but i don't care, were close now. lol i don't even know y i'm doing this. i guess it's to show i know about that hidding and wantting to tell. I even hid from Diver. no one understands what fear does, like it keeps you from telling even when u should. no one knows unless they had to deal with it. it's kinda like hurting ur self. no one gets it unless they do it or have done it. Shit! i need to stop typing.
well i guess my point is if it wasn't for this computer or Diver and my brother I would still be hidding....and not getting better. -
lol u said no one would see ur post and u get 2 replies from me. lol yeah i thought about PMing U but then i thought some one out there mihgt need to read this. soo... In reply to: I don’t think that I could have coped so well if my parents or friends even found out. I didn't either, but were closer now. well me and my dad (I have always been close with my mom, NO!! DIVER I'M NOT DON"T SAY IT!!!!!!) my dad did have a hard time at 1st, i'm not sure if he didn't believe me or if it was fustration. But i guess now is what matters, and now were getting closer.
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he's a little mommy's boy
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hugs n cuddles, thanks 4 your input