Originally Posted By: pinkranger4Did you get that PM i sent you? Responses from the "other" bulletin board that you linked:- I have a friend who is gay. He was happily married for 40 years and rasied two daughters, before his wife passed away from illness.He has told me that he NEVER once cheated on his wife. That is commitment. I believe there are a great many men who may harbor some gay/bi attractions. But each man is an individual and you cannot predict the outcome.I also believe most men fall somewhere on the gay/straight continuum. It IS possible to be gay and love a woman and have a successful marriage. Isn't hoosier a good example? I think you are really stressing about this. I agree with other posters who state you need to hightail it to a counselor. A GOOD marriage counselor, not just some well-meaning church friend. And hopefully not some homophobic counselor.Good luck with your marriage.- With this kind of thinking, "it might not work, so lets not put our all into it", a marriage very likely does have a chance of falling apart. I don't know your situation, but I'd say, love each other, give your all to each other, be happy, and don't worry!- Well, blue, I read that thread too and felt most of the posters did not respect the fact that he had already made his decision to be married. Many just kept insinuating the marriage couldn't work, which IMHO is patently untrue.- I was married for five years, together with my wife for eight. We divorced about five years ago.I can tell you that I loved (still love) my (now ex-) wife very much. She was more than a good friend. In trying to do what was right by my family and what I beleived at the time to be right by God I made a serious misjudgement in my own ability. I can tell you that I left the marriage when the emotional turmoil ate away at me and I could no longer deal. It created a lot of pain for her and me. Pain for our families, etc. Now, I have been a member of a community of currently/former married gay men and fathers. Most of us agree that it is difficult to maintain a marriage with a woman. You see, being gay is not just about sex. It is about everything that a hetero man feels for a woman in his life. Even the men who were staying in their marriage admitted how hard it was (and not to scare you, but most of them "slipped up" from time to time).Please, PLEASE see a licensed marriage counseler about this issue. That is the ONLY way to figure out if this will work. A marriage out of a sense of responsiblity, duty, or religion is really no marriage at all.Good Luck and know that no matter what, life always works out.- I won't play soothsayer and predict your marriage won't work. What I will say is you can't stop being gay. You can stop acting on it and denying who you are I suppose. The human mind is capable of great things. You two may be together for 80 years, have children and grandchildren and so on...Now of course, this is true of straight marriages as well. There are people who marry but may still harbor a flame for someone else or feel they needed to marry and took the first thing that came along. You get the point. ... etc.- If the gay man is conforming to his religion (but I rather say God) to fit in and is struggling with his attraction to men, but wants to serve his God by doing right by getting married to a women, then I have respect for him for several reasons:1.He knows that fornication is wrong and that any sex outside of a heterosexual marriage means that he is commiting sin.2. Instead of him being carnal by giving in the the lust of his flesh and his sexual urge to be with a man, he has denied himself, taking up his cross to serve God by being a living sacrifice.3. Because if he is a fornicator, idolater, adulterer, thief, covetor, drunkard, revilers, or extortioner, he understands that he no longer can engage in those sins if he wants to inherit the kingdom of God.Marriage is no fairy tale. It would be nice to have a mate that ONLY lusts after you and ONLY desires to be with you. But unfortunately with sex thrown at many men on billboards and throuth the media, for some men the temptation to stray will and does happen.... etc.And here's one which I found truly perplexing:- The gender to which a person is attracted is not as important as the way he or she treats that person.