So yea, theres this girl at work named Jackie. When I originally saw here, I thought she was one of the hottest girls Id seen. Then for a while I though shes was kind of a cold person. However, that changed as I talked to her here and there at to which point I found her attractive again. So heres the problem...I dont talk to her too often because shes a cashier and I work in a department at my store. Plus I only work two days a week at this job making my chances of really talking and getting to know her better no so high. So lately when I get off work from my other job that serves this stuff called Bubble Tea, I drop by at the place where we both work at when shes working on Wednesday and bring her one along with a couple for some other employees. She thanks me with a smile and sometimes gives me a hug at to which point I might chit chat with her for a short while. However, I just dont know how to go about asking her our or something. I think that if I did it would just come out as a surprise out of nowhere to her A) Because I dont know if shed be up for it and B) even if she was slightly interested in me I think she knows Id be one of the last people to make a move so I could see it being a shocker when I actually did make a move. So yea other reasons I dont think I make a move besides not knowing how is because Im 23 and she only on her way to turning 19. So I question myself if thats a little out of my age bracket. Also there the whole dating someone from your work that kinda eats away at me even though nothings happened yet. I mean I know how people and gossip fly around at work and I dont know if I want to get caught up in all that shit. Then theres is always the simple fact that I think I need to get my life more in order before I start focusing on someone else.So yea I dont know, you think I should make a move and if so how do you think I should go about it? Also do you think Im just making a lot of excuse because Im afraid of what might happen, cause I will admitt...Im fine with rejection, but when I have to see the person Ive been rejected by on a regular basis and then have some of her friends at work know about the whole deal...yea that would kind make me feel uncomfortable. I mean should I feel it out more before making a move; if you think one should be made? I just feel so lost
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Typical Story: I have a crush, but Im a wimp
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Hm, not sure what to say about the age thing. Everyone will tell you it's fine...but being honest I'm not so sure.I mean morally I don't think it's much of an issue, but I do wonder whether you'd be too mature for her. Thats the problem I had in my last relationship (me being 20 at the time, her being 17) and she was just far too immature. If she's mature though, then no problem.As for asking her out, there are 2 approaches I'd use.1) Ask her, and a bunch of your colleagues out to a movie. Then you have a chance to get to know her outside of work, and it doesn't seem like you wanna get on her straight away. Ease it in a bit.2) or, you just ask her to the movies, but in a casual way. If she says no, just act upbeat and like "hey that's ok, maybe another time". And then it doesn't seem like you wanted to go out with her in the first place, therefore eliminating any awkwardness...That's what I reckon anyway.
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I would say flirt with her a little bit in a teasing manner to feel her out. If she's not receptive make it out to just be teasing. If she is resptive to the flirting then ask her out.To help deal with any possible rejection, make fun of yourself first, like "Hey the automatic door won't open for me...Now I'm been rejected by mechanical things to. insert grin and laugh at this point" I admit its a bad example but you get the idea.Like I have always said, "Joke'em if the can't take a f*ck."
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"I admit its a bad example but you get the idea."hahahahahahahaha no comment on that one =)But yea I do flirt with her from time to time and she gets a kick out of it, but I dont if its just entertaining to here cause were at work at its a boring place to be at or if she might every so slightly be interested.Also in terms of trying to ask her and a group of friends out, most of them are her age if not younger....and I seriously dont want to be hanging out with 16-17 year old cashier...thats pretty lame.In terms of asking her to a move, I dont think it would be appropiate because I dont talk to hear for long enough periods of time to say "Hey wanna get together for dinner sometime" or something like that, I believe you used movie as an example.So basically what I was thinking of doing is next time I stop by on a Wednesday and bring her a drink Im going to be like "So when are you going to stop by and visit me. You know its awful boring when Im the only one working at my place and no customers are coming it because we only serve cold smoothie drinks. I could really use a vistor!" Then at that point if shes like well when do you work or something to that extent, I could tell her and if she stops by that Ill get that chance to have that face to face convo with her. Although it is kinda like putting the ball in her court in someway or another in terms of making her go out of her way to see me so I can make a move, but hey my cafe is less than a mile from where our Hardware store is. But yea what do you think of that one guys?
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whoa whoa whoa!Dinner and a movie are VERY different things!Dinner allows you time to talk to each other, and it's a lot more personal. A movie is just sitting in a big room watching a film. More relaxed.Altho i do like your "when are you gonna come by my section?" line...although if it's like my retail experience, a cashier never really got a chance to move around the store, so I dunno if it'd even work in this situation!
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No no no...I think you just skimmed over what I said. See I have 2 jobs. One where I work at a hardware store with her and other where I work at a Cafe which I sometimes bring drinks from for her and my friends at my Hardware job. So when I say, how come you dotn ever stop by, I meant like stop by my Cafe (cause one time she asked me where it was and that she had been dying to find out where hte nearest Bubble Tea place was after the one by her house closed down a year ago.) Get my drift, with that said, what do you think of that approach. And I agree a movie is a better scenerio for me, instead of the whole "Nothing but looking in each others faces for an hour after weve barely gotten to know each other in a relaxed setting since we dont work in the same areas at work." But yea so what do you think?
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Ah I get it now.Well you can certainly try, but don't be surprised if nothing happens from it. Girls are all about guys making the move (which doesn't make it easy when girls are so impossible to make sense of), so she may not react to it as you may expect.