heya all im back from new zealand and yeah still sooo confused ok let me begin at the beginning...ok new zealand trip ....the plane seats were assigned but we could change when we got on so that was all good and i changed and sat with my friends which made it all goood!! when we arrived in brisbanne we were all ok and so i thought like the trip was gonna be like truely great and we could just avoid each other...i still really care about him but i realise i should get over him and as for his (ex) best mate well that guy just gives me the creeps i didnt really wanna make a big deal over it and stuff so i only told my closest two friends and my (ex) boyfriend.... so yeah we finally got to new zealand and for the very first night we stayed in huts!! ( chalet type things) and it wasnt too bad we had some mid night feast and it was all good about 1 am or something around that time some of the boys came in our chalet to steal our food yeah the jerk was with them i had the top bunk and was awake but pretended to sleep i didnt want to cause problems he was coming over to my bed and his mates saved me by saying "hey we got the food lets get out of here" i have never been so thankful...the guys got in shit with some of the older boys and it was one of those awquad decisions over breakfast to which i said i saw and heard nothing.the next night we were in tents i shared a tent with one girl but she was like still out of the tent i was like trying to tidy up a bit sooo i was just sat alone when my ex just walked in i was like what the hell you know i could have been yeah well.... we talked about a lot of stuff and i thought i felt better we agreed like it was better to stay not together and etc which i wasnt very happy about because no matter what he would do to me i would forgive him (how dum does that sound)and so yeah i kind of got upset but kept it tooo myself and got over it (the next day we picked our rafts from a hat and i didnt end up with my ex but i ended up with his friend we had to practice getting in and out of the boats and i was saving one of the other people when the instructor decided it would be funny to kick me out!! the water was really cold and of all the opther 6 people in the raft that could have saved me it had to be his friend i had been in the water for a few minutes while they got the other girl in as yeah i felt ok but my legs just gave in like under me so i was pulled back and lifted by my life jacket he lifted me like i weighed nothing and it made me feel bad.after i took a shower that night i was walking back to camp and he was coming back as well and he decided to talk ..." hey u didnt say thankyou for me saving you" i was astonished i didnt want to thank him but you know i dint want to be rude so i just simply said "o didnt i well thanx then" he was like "what is that all the gratitude i get" i dont have clue o maybe i do but i said "well i could have done it on my own but no one let me try" i couldnt but i dont want him thinking i owe him something is that fair ?? but yeah over the next few days me and my (ex) got pretty close and stuff the worst point I must say I when I fell asleep on him when we were driving on the way to taupo but I felt so embarrassed and the last night we were watching the stars and he was holding me at the waist and I was just standing ( yeah it was really cold so I wasn’t really in the mood to resist him) and then their was no more seats so I was sitting on his lap and he was trying to keep me warm ( a process that didn’t work) but my head is spinning I just have no clue what to do and I wish to god his creepy mate would go somewhere and I don’t know why but I hate that feeling when he is too close to me or he talks too me like when he made me hot chocolate i just feel a sort of insecurity is that normal or am I just being really dum and completely over reacting over nothing its just I really don’t want to get my bad situation worse o I feel so stupid please help !!but yeah a lot of other things happened but through the thought that you are really bored already I think I had better stop and just wait for your advice please help mexX Torie Xx
Hmmm still confused
a smile on the outside to often is saddness...
Girl, you need to get some backbone and help yourself. You are still in doormat mode. We can't come to where you are and kick the ass of the sexual predator, and we can't do anything about your ex-boyfriend.You need to break it off with your "ex", which should also take care of the predator. Or you can continue to be a victim. It's your choice. What more can any of us do? There's no magic charm that will fix the problem. You need to do it.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. -- MLK
i know but i feel like i dont know how to be anything more than a doormat !
i really wish i had that backbone any tips on what to do or say becos unlike when i was a kid i know now i really dont have all the answers!!
wow this sounds all so gay and like some typical bull shit story but i just dont know what to do i really want to get rid of this problem to try and concetrate on something more important
but i just am rather unsure with what to do in my next steps !! i really wish i could just not give a shit but i do and i dont know how not to !!
and yeah i know im going about this in all the wrong ways but i really dont know what else to do :'(
a smile on the outside to often is saddness...