Right now I am in my 2nd year of college and I am doing very well in my classes. Finals are coming up and I am looking forward to going home for a couple weeks to hang out with all of my friends. This is what everyone sees, but it is not the full truth.No one at this school cares much about me. I am in a fraternity, but my fellow brothers do not give a shit or even like me. None of this seemed to matter to me a few weeks ago because I thought it would pass, but it just gets worse. It is not only them, but all of my "friends". None of them are real. No one bothers to call me or ask me to do anything with them or hang out. If I wan't to do anything or get it done, I have to do everything. I can not count on anyone for anything. No matter how much I try, I get no where. Usually this goes back and forth, but recently it has just been a constant thing. I have given up on having these people that I will be with for the rest of my college life as my friends, it is not even worth it anymore. It seems that anything I am involved in, I just slip through the cracks. Everyone else does this and that with other people, but no one thinks to ask me. I had a girlfriend a few years ago, but since we broke up I haven't met a girl I would even consider going out with. I don't understand how other people go through relationships and hookup with others on a regular basis, but I can't even meet a decent girl who likes me back. It's not that I am bad looking (at least I don't think so), I just don't know how to explain it.I am not asking to be the center of attention all the time and have every friend in the world. All I want is for someone to give me the simple notion that they care. A phone call asking whats up, an invitation to get some lunch, asking to watch a movie ...something. It happens with everyone else everyday, but never with me.I don't think I would ever move to drastic measures, but this depression is slowly killing me. I just keep thinking that I have my smarts to go on with in life, but I don't know how far that will really take me. One of the main reasons I don't do anything harmful is because I would not want to hurt the few people in my life who do care, like my family. It's sad that I don't hurt myself for my family, but not for myself. Everyday I lie to myself that things will get better and people will treat me with the respect I deserve, but everyday I am let down. Now has come the time when lying will not get me anywhere and I must face the facts. I know I am just ranting on, but this is the first time I have let this out. I really do not know what to do; I feel unwanted, unloved, and unneeded. Even going out of my way for something gets me no where. If anyone is going through something similiar, let me know how you deal with it.
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What do I do?
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I know the feeling. Going on because of the guilt of knowing you will hurt the ones you love if you end everything.
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Sometimes "neediness" for friends can put people off - it can make you seem too clingy, or too self-absorbed, or too demanding. So the first thing is to work on your own self-sufficiency and self-confidence. When you have more of that, and don't need friends as much, you'll find it easier to get them.
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Well thats great. The less you need them, the more you get.
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A lot of life is like that. :frowning:
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It would be ideal to pinpoint what it is that is keeping you down and out from the crowd. Then to work on this (sometimes a doctor's psychological assistance is "neccesary") so you can build on a healthy social life.I, too, can relate to going on with life 'cause of the family. I think it's a beautiful thing and certainly someday people will appreciate you for who you are. : )Maybe we could swap personalities I prefer to keep people at a distance and I really don't enjoy the daily social activity. Not that I have a real problem with society in general, I just like to do my social things independantly (not with friends). hmm.