Responsibility

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I've been thinking recently...at that always means trouble for everyone!What responsibility do the folks here have toward those that ask questions here? Particularly the younger kiddos. Here's what I'm thinking...First of all, I have made a decision for myself. Please don't flame or deride me for this. It's a decision I'VE made for MYSELF. I will not offer advice to young kids on how to have sex. I just don't think it's right for me, an adult who isn't a close friend or family member or whatever, giving some 15 year old buck tips on how to get a girl in bed and how to get her to give a blow job or how to know the proper technique for getting it on or whatever. That's just a call I've made for myself.That being said...I feel like those of us here who are a little older have a lot to offer the younger ones. Okay, this all started the other day when I was reading through some posts that I had missed during my months away. There was a thread in which a young kid was asking some questions about what kind of underwear he should wear to make himself not look so small, and what he should wear to bed when he was in a hotel room with other boys, and that sort of thing. Several folks were making it apparent that they were annoyed with his constant questing because it seemed he kept asking the questions over and over. I really felt bad for the kid. I don't think he ever got his questions answered. He got a lot of "do what you want and don't worry about it" which I felt was shallow, dishonest, and not helpful. He obviously was worried about it. He wasn't interested in doing what he wanted, he was interested in what he could do to make sure he was not embarassed, maybe not even noticed. Am I the only one who remembers being a young teenager and remembers the fear of going into a situation where I just want to be accepted and not feel like a freak? I think it would have been really easy for someone to have helped the kid out, even with some specifics on how to assess a situation and be ready for anything. I feel like I could have done that and I was disappointed that nobody did.Anyway...what I am saying is that when I was younger I just had to live with those fears and questions and hope everything turned out wrong and that I'm not going to be embarassed because I'm wearing tighty whities and every other kid in the hotel room is wearing boxers and I'm being made fun of. But now, these kids have somewhere to come where they can ask those questions. And we can respond in one of two ways. We can roll our eyes at the annoying teenagers and tell them to "just do what you want and stop worrying", or we can remember the terrors that come with being a teenager and try to help answer some questions based on our experiences.And I know there are some truly annoying kids on here who do truly annoying things like post pictures of their dicks and type in unintelligable gibberish and just say stupid crap and stuff. It is right to call them out and ask them to go away. But I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the ones that post real questions that we may not get but are truly honest. The ones seeking help, even if they don't know how to do it in the most sophisticated, mature fashion. What is our responsibillity to these kids?Just a question...

Its true I have seen a few kids being flamed for asking questins deemed to be stupid. I felt kinda bad for them and discontinued reading the thread.

Something all of us who have been around need to realise is that a question that we have seen and answered many, many times is nevertheless new, and vitally important, to the person asking. This site isn't here for our entertainment or interest, but to help people with questions.I don't think it necessarily helps to ask people to do searches. First, not everyone is good at doing them, or can work out at all how to do them. Those who are good at searching have probably already found their answer and don't ask at all. Skill at searching is not required to be a worthwhile person.Secondly, many people need an answer that is directed personally at them. We may feel they should be able to work out the answer from the answer to someone else with a similar question, but that's not what they need. They need someone to give them personally an answer to their personal problem. We don't all think like that but we should respect the many people who do.I think damien makes a very good point, too, that telling people not to worry doesn't help much. It's not easy to turn off worrying about something that is eating at you. Even if it's something that people shouldn't worry about, it is usually more effective, and is more respectful to the person, to answer the question than to brush it aside as unimportant.

You, my friend, were infinitely patient on that thread!Bless you.

Skill at searching is not required to be a worthwhile person.My world just crumbled.There are times that I have told people to do a search on the site, and I pretty much always give the keywords. It's too bad you can't copy the URL for and already-put-together search.I agree that "look it up" is an inadequate response, if that's all there is, but it can be a useful adjunct. And there are times that someone has a question that, for whatever reason, gets no response at all. In the cases where someone's question precisely matches that of someone else's in another thread, where that poster got good responses, it's a lot better than nothing.Then there are the sticky threads, which are pregnant with good information...