Hey guys, I haven't been on this board in a very long time, but I wanted to ask this question since this was my most comfortable place to ask these questions, haha.A little background: I have an awesome girlfriend of nearly 17 months.Anyway, so I went up to a Model UN conference in Boston this past weekend, and one of the social events they had was called the "Delegate Dance." To me, dancing isn't being unfaithful; it's just having fun, and I do it purely for that reason. Well, this was a dance where you probably didn't know anyone, so I was basically dancing with random chicks. So, one chick kept looking at me, and since I wanted to dance with someone (I was dancing alone), I kind of asked if she wanted to. Well, we did, and during our little dancing, she would look at me and flick her hair basically signaling to hook up. Now, I'm not really ok with hooking up being that I have a girlfriend with whom I'm very happy. Well, I never did hook up, and I'm sure she was a little insulted, but see, the problem is that I really wanted to. I'm not sure if I felt bad afterwards because I wanted to or that I missed a clear opportunity to. Note that I've never "hooked up" before, and I've hardly experienced anything outside of my own girlfriend. You can imagine that I kind of want to go into different or more interesting experiences, and hooking up would have been one. Is being unfaithful actually doing these things but really caring about the person in that manner? Or is being unfaithful doing these things while caring?I'm not really all that confused because I almost know it's the former (or both), but if I marry my girlfriend one day (in the far future), I'll never experience something audacious as that. Just feel like I'm missing out on a part of teenage life or something.
What's your definition of fidelity?
I think of it like this: If you're in a relationship and you think about doing something that gives you an unsure feeling, then you shouldn't do it.
I can understand that you want to have "hooking up" experiences in your life. But if you're happy as you say, then you're probably not missing much. Or at least, that's how I feel in my relationship.
No matter how gifted, you alone can not chang...
I don't know how far "hooking up" goes, but it sounds like it's something that doesn't fit having an exclusive relationship with a girlfriend.
My view is that the purpose of life is NOT to have as many experiences as possible. Any decent person is going to be missing many experiences. And when you enter a serious relationship (and even more when you marry), you are effectively abandoning some potential experiences, in order to give all your attention to one person. That doesn't mean the attraction to other people, and the desire for other experiences, will go away. No indeed. It does mean you have made a commitment - maintaining it will require sacrifices.
You guys are indeed right. Thanks very much for your input.