Everything isnt working out for me. Early this morning my mom has yelled at me for more than 2 hours repeating the same stuff. Few days ago we had a big family gathering and went out for dinner. I personally think I can be a good talker and a guy that socializes but whenever im around family i cant seem to talk to them so i usually just sit there. The reason is because my mom keeps watching me if i do anything stupid while people talk to me, and once in awhile she makes things up and tells everyone in the family how stupid of a son i am. So that leaves me feeling like im the weird kid that doesnt talk. When a person started talking to me, my mom starred at me and just right away said to me, 'straighten your back, stop being so dumb'. Thats when i quit even trying to talk, so basically from now on, to my family im literally looked as the retarded one. Whenever we have family meetings i can never talk, i only greet and thats it. Later, I had a talk with my mom saying that im a pretty good speaker to other people but.. how i cant speak in front of any family memebers because of how they looked at me now. She refused to understand me and kept going on how stupid i am.I do good in school but she never apperciates it. She still thinks im useless and will never find a job, she keeps telling me. So now in my head i keep that in me and thats what i think now. Only I know that i am a good person and talented inside because I know myself the best. My friends also think the same. But now i dont know what to think, my family has put too much pressure on me. From now on, as we go to family dinners again, its just getting worse, im becoming more of a void.
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Issues
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I don't think your family looks at you negatively as a person. They probably realize that your mom is mistreating you and they're looking at you with a sympathizing look. As for your mom yelling at you, the best thing that I would do would be to do whatever you can just to ignore her and get away from her. Anyone who treats someone else like they're crap doesn't deserve even the slightest respect, so don't listen to her. If she thinks you can't get a job, then try to get one if you can. Next time you see your extended family (I'm assuming that's who you haven't been able to talk to), once you bring up that you have a job they will find you a little more accepting and they'll treat you with more respect.
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Hi Aduka, your mother sounds terrible. No mother should do that. I know how bad that can be for your self-esteem - hearing it all the time, you start to believe it must be true. The fact that you know that it isn't shows how strong you are.Try to leave home as early as possible.
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I agree with Ineligible, you should put her in a home when youre older
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Instead of being a void, you could act in family dinners like Courtney Love after she's been trapped for 2 months in a liquor store. Since your family doesn't respect even your efforts for being a good person, pretend to them that you're really bad. If I were you, I would irritate them until they would beg me to stop acting like this. I'd also be rude to my mother and I would reply to her like this: "I do whatever I like", "I love being stupid and I'm still better than you". I may be wrong, but even my mother must gain some of my respect,instead of believing that she already has it. I'm sure they'd never get their lesson, but you will enjoy this time pretty much *evil grin*.
Anyway, don't try to listen to her. If she doesn't listen to your own problems, she doesn't deserve your attention.
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That's a pretty cool idea.
Aduka, maybe your family thinks your mom is nuts. Have you asked any of them?
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she's horrible. i'm sorry. if i were you i would snap back at her and saying things that wil make her look stupid, like "oh really mom? i am dumb? but if i were you i wont match that skirt with the blouse it's fucking stupid u don't even know fashion" or "gosh how can u yelled at your on son in front of others? please act a little more sophisticated even if u're not" .
i know it's rude but u really have to make her shut up.
but please don't let her words get you. don't listen to her or give up in your life. if you got depressed and fail in your life just because of her, she'll win. you have to prove that she's totally wrong and all your family members will see that even if u don't say anything. just keep a good life. -
Your mom sounds alot like my mom. When I lived with her and my step-dad she would yell at me for the stupidest reasons. One time she even kicked me out of the house and would not let me put my shoes on even. That was crossing the line for me! I would not put up with it anymore. I told her that she needed to get over herself. I also told her that she was egotistical. She didnt even know what that ment. She thinks that the world is here for her pleasure. And WOW did I have some news for her about that! I told her straight up how it was and how it was going to be. Now I would have to say that me and my mom have a really good relationship. Although when I got pregnant she kicked me out we worked through it and she told me that I could come and live with her again. But thats a totally different story. Hope everything works out for you.
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Or you can plant a kilo of coke in her car and give the cops a little hint....
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I think you should kill your Mother. Mentally of course.
Don't let her put down's penetrate your mind. I've got a Dad that did that to me, but a lot worse. Thankfully, I've come to a point in my life now when what he says doesn't even process in my mind. And it's much healthier that way.
Shut her out of your mind, and get on with it. If you've got other family members, and yourself as an individual then you're set.
Alternatively you can try talking to her about it. Make a big deal out of it, and force her to sit down and listen to you. Let her know how it's making you feel, and come to a compromise.
The latter didn't work for me.... but I'm very content with life right now - so it probably will get better, whichever option you choose.
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my family thinks of me negitive,fucking basterds