Hell

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I know the lonely feeling all too well, the kind that brings a coldness to your insides that no amount of clothing can take away. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this sweetie, so very sorry. You deserve so much better than you're getting, you and your son both do.

In reply to: In some ways she is like a druggie and you are buying her the stuff while at the same time asking her to quit Angel, baby, once again you've introduced the nail to the head. If I can actually get her to sit down and work out an "equalisation" I can start to deduct rent from it until she has nothing. Of course, when she is down to nothing of hers and nothing of mine, she'll still be here.

Thanks Kat, you know how much it helps to have people like you who see me for what I am rather than the picture she paints of me. I know that there are very few that believe what she says but it's still another knife in the back. In reply to: the kind that brings a coldness to your insides that no amount of clothing can take away The irony of that made me smile. The cold can be alieved with a lack of clothing... at least temporarily as I've discovered.

ok, I tought I was old enought to avoid a rebound but apperently I'm just as stupid now as I ever was.I had absolutely no intention of getting involved but it just happened, then managed to un-happen within a week.WTF? Will I just be a sucker for a pretty face until the day I die?

Baby, keep your chin up. I know it may sound cliche to say this, but things will get better eventually. And another thing old man, you need to stop downing yourself by saying you're stupid or any other silly thing like that (that isn't even close to what you are). You, my friend, are an amazing person. You're charmingly witty, sweet, funny, and very intelligent sweetie. You, my dear, happen to have one of the best personalities I've ever had the privilege to incounter and I do not want to hear you saying things like that. I believe things happen for a reason; I believe diffrent people come into your life for a purpose and I believe "she" may have been sent to you to make you stronger in many diffrent ways even if you don't realize it just yet. It wont be like this forever. Things will get better for you, you deserve nothing less than the best. I know I've told you this before, but I'm going to tell it to you again, it's okay to feel lost and confused. You're going to feel that way for a while because you've been forced to give up someone you loved very dearly. You lost your best friend so it's perfectly normal to feel confused about things in your future. We're nothing but mere humans, we weren't meant to figure it all out in one day, give yourself some time baby. It's going to take a bit, but eventually there will be a day that you wake up and you'll feel a little bit better and a little happier. Each day you feel it's getting worse only means that it's a day closer to you finally healing and becomming whole again.Don't think so little of yourself, you have more to offer than you think. You're an extraordinary person even if you don't see it. I see something very beautiful in you my friend and when the time is right, that special someone you were meant to be with will see it too. Keep your chin up cutie, she's out there somewhere looking for you (and she could be closer than you think, you never know). You deserve happiness, and you're going to find it.

once again... I have to wipe a tear away.I love you Kat

sob That was so very sweet of you Katie. And you are exactly right. puts pink fuzzy handcuffs on unsupervised

hold me down and wipe my tears

So, here I am, alone in my home.... fianllyShe left today, with spawn of unsupervisedSo, at the moment, I feel nothing... weird huh?

Not really.fI left my bitch whore, I mean my ex wife. I did not feel shit for a whie.you will later, right now its time to be numb.Your just worn out man, nerves and brains can ony take so much before they shut down for a bit, it will come back and when it does it sucks.i never misse the harpy, it was not having my kids with me that bothered me, I was pretty damned happy about being rid of the twat that had my last name but I took that away from her in the divorce course she got my big screen and sattelite and DVD and hi fi VCR and 3 of my cars and my camp trailer and half of my savings account that she never contributed to in any way shape or form.....all in all I came out ahead, it was a small price to pay to be rid of the bitch. I just hope yours equals out to being ahead in your head once its a said and done.

awwww darlin, personally i never thought she would do it, but you need to be just you for a bit..........cuddles

How are you doing Blue? It's time for a little 'you' time sweetie... keep your chin up hon xoxos

Thanks Chance....fortunately, we don't own a lot for her to take. I've spent the last several years paying off debts (including her student loan) and re-establishing credit.At least we both have good credit now, even if she is basically unemployable.And I don't mind being numb for a while, hell, I'll even help out the process with a little drink or ten.Thanks too to Angel and Kat...Yes, it's time for me to rediscover myself and enjoy me time. But dammit, I really need to be touched right now

Numb is good.I think numb is even an absolutely needed state of being for a while. It comes back slow instead of all at once so that helps too. just one step of many in becoming you again.

I'm making this mental list of all the "me" stuff I need to do and it's getting overwhelming.Little bit at a time I guess.and oh, I notice that I'm a "cuddly vetran" now lol... I was hoping for massively endowed vetran but I think that might require me forwarding some photographic evidence to one of the mods

well Helms is or atleast was talking about an offsite addition to the site with members pics, you could post it there and see what happens in the future iwth your title.Start on the me stuff, most important is to live alone for a while and remember who the hell you are. Have a drink or 50, get out and get laid when you need to. if time and alone is killing you read a book, go out with your budies from time to time. when you feel like your going batshit and need to talk comeback to us but live some life away from the net.

Try finding a goal to work towards. You need to realize what interests you and try to work towards it. Preferably something that will make you feel good about yourself.

I can't directly relate to the way you're feeling, but I know what it's like to be depressed and I know what worked for me.

I think you will find yourself less 'tense' now that she is gone. And for your sake, I am glad she is gone. You deserve so much more. big hugs and kisses

Hey there stranger.. glad to see you posting and everything seems to be okay. I agree with Angel and Katie, you need alittle "you" time. Time heals most things.Take care buddy!

first weekend with the kiddo is now over... excuse me while I climb into a bottle