Joke Thread

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A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to New York. I heard prostitutes there get paid $200 for doing what I do for you for free."Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too I want to see how you live on $400 a year".Post your bestRigpig.

thanks for the chuckle hon i can never remember any jokes i get told..............

how many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?none... they all sit in the dark slitting their wrists and crying!!!ahahahah"i wish my grass was emo... then it would cut itself"...

ummm.... maybe I lost my sense of humor but I don't find the humor in that joke....

Yeah...that cutting is some serious business.

I liked the grass part.

No, just sexy.By the way, that sig line kills me. I'm guilty of that, and everytime I see it I get a little "heart pain"....off to cut myself...

okay this joke is a bit lame, but it made me laugh An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

ROFL! That was very cute Katie hehe!

I read that to my sister and she said "Skoot (my nickname), that sounds like something you'd do" lol I denied it but when I thought about it, I probably would

"Skoot", thats the name of one of my moms dogs. Hopefully you have that name for a different reason though....j/k, j/k..LoL

Heh, I'm actually called Skooter, but they shorten it to Skoot most of the time. I was nicknamed that because I would scoot around on the floor on my butt instead of crawling when I was a baby lol

A man comes home one evening, rushes into the house, kisses his wife and screams in an obviously delighted way "Pack your bags, I've just won thirty million on the lottery!"The wife is excited and says "Oooh...where are we going?"The husband replies "I don't care where you go, just be gone when I get back from the pub!"

LOL that's so rude.

Are you serious ur nick name is scooter!? lol one of my good friends nick name is scooter for the exact same reason... he scooted instead of crawling... haha sorry i just thought that was cool.

my pastor's dog's name is scooter...O_o

Dick Cheney's lackey was named Scooter, and he was indicted several weeks ago.

Dick Cheyney scares me a little. How many heart attacks has he had?

He can't die. The Beast must keep him alive to do his bidding. No organ failure will stand in the way.

LOL but of course.