Guys.......need your help!!

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New here and could really use some suggestions...Forgive me if I ramble but here goes...Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, I'm 31 and he is 33. We live an hour apart and have very hectic work schedules so we only see each other once a week, sometimes more but not often. He calls me at least once every day, but most days its more like 2 or 3 times and on his days off (he works shift work) he drives over an hour to where I work and has lunch with me.Now here is my problem. We have never discussed our relationship, you know, where it's going or how we feel. I've tried, but he changes the subject and I don't want to push him to answer. Now in the beginning this really didn't bother me but the longer we are together the more it does. I WANT TO KNOW.Now here is the other problem. He was asleep one day and I was bored so picked up his mobile phone and started mucking around with it. I didn't intentially go snooping or anything, (I have always trusted him), but what I found on there seriously shocked me. There were photos other women had sent him showing their genitals and boobs! This was a few weeks ago and I haven't brought it up because I don't it to sound as though I was deliberately checking his phone. I am really confused by all of this. One minute I think I know how he feels without having to ask, but the next I just don't know if I'm being strung along or not. So what's a girl to do? Now I know the obvious answer is to sit him down and make him talk. So guys what would all this mean if it was you? Does it mean he's playing me or what?so confused.

Well first off you need to understand its hard for me too know for sure without being in the situation. However; ill go off what you told me here. From what you said in the beginnning he sounds like he really truley loves and cares about you. I think the problem with him avoiding talking about the relationship is that he may be afraid to commit. The thing with his phone......well i think you really have to confront him about this one. Obviously most guys like porn and things of that nature, but if they are from people he has in his phonebook, then its a little wierd. First off i would say confront him about the pictures. Depending on how this goes i would definetely demand he talks about the relationship. There is no reason why u should be kept guessing. And being your age i would hope the men you date should be mature enough at that age to be open about things. So like i said, you need to confront him about this first, and then let me know what happens after that and ill tr to help you out

Thanks, I will confront him about it and let you know.

And the thing is I have no problem with him looking at porn, so if these pics were sent to him via some sort of sms thing or something then I wouldn't mind. But when I found them I did make sure and the numbers and names are in his phone book. Which is what has worried me.

I also thought ok maybe they are just there from before we met, but then they can't be because he has only had the pic phone for a year! Damn it.......

But how would you want to hear that someone has gone through your phone.......even though it wasn't intentional snooping I still feel a little dishonest.

Yea but im pretty sure that finding pics like that in his phone outweighs the fact you snooped. Lets say you were on his comp and found evidence of webcams and stuff with other women. You accidently came across it, doesnt make what he did right. You know he'll bring up the fact that you snooped, but what can you do, you need to find out.

Thanks..........need all the support I can get

Just remember one thing.....YOU ARE NOT WRONG ON THIS. Because when he goes to turn it around you need to stand your ground. And as helms said, he will either come straight forward and tell you or he'll be very defensive, which usually means hes guilty. but who knows you may be worrying for nothing, there may be a good explanation (wishful thinking) but it can happen. good luck with it, STAND STRONG!

I totally agree what the other have said, but i wanted to add something, i get sent pics of guys in various states (grin) a lot, i don't ask for them, maybe you BF does know a few women, who have just decided to send pics of themselves like that.

I thought of that, but that would make sense if it were on the computer. The fact that its on his phone from people he has saved in his phonebook is whats odd

Well I'm seeing him on Monday night, so I'll let you know how it turns out. And you're right I do need to get to the bottom of it. It's getting to the point where it's really bothering me.

Wish me luck :confused:

you know it really is not right that someone should have to worry about something like that for that long. honestly if it were me, id call him up right now and get to the bottom of it asap, but maybe thats just me

I had thought of doing this on the phone. But you know, I'd rather see his face. Especially if he is going to bullshit to me.

ur gonna have to talk to him, there is no way that u can disquise it in a way that he wont know u were looking on his phone.