I agree Adama nd I do have some different goals and I brought that to his attention, and it's something we have to work out.Though I think there is nothing wrong with waiting until alittle later in life to start a family, I personally don't want to be 35 when I start to raise a family. Sorry but I don't want to be pushing 60 by the time all my kids are out of high school. I kind of want to enjoy my late 40's and my 50's LoL. But that's just me hehe.
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Thinking of a fresh start..
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I feel quite the same as you. I'm having, of course, a good time here, but I'm really dreaming on moving soon to another country for 1-2 years.Well, I'm not sure if you'll finally succeed to escape from all this pressure, even if you move to another city. Your parents will still try to force you to follow their demands. Fir st,I believe you have to clarify your desires and plans to your parents. Maybe, you prefer sometimes their respect and gratitude instead of your own joy, but denying their desires won't really harm you. You must take decisions for your own sake...It would be better for both of you now to stay there, at least until Adam finishes his BA. Maybe Adams feels happy living in his hometown. But ,after he graduates, maybe he would like to live in another town, too. Someone's opinion can change really easily.Anyway, maybe you just need some good vacations. Because, expressing yourself and your passions are not so relative with the town you're living. You just sound really tired and depressed.
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I keep seeing vacations brought up in this post.I realize you cant take one just yet, but youll be able to soon when your leave is renewed for the year.I highly reccommend San Francisco.No thats not a gay joke or reference, let me state that clearly to begin with.Iv taken dates to frisco before. 3 days there for a weekend is great, its not real far or really expensive air fare. the seafood is great, the views from teh cliffs are fanfuckingtastic and a tour of alcatraz is mandatory.You cant go because of your vacation, great, perfect, Frisco is a cold town, wait for warmer weather to hit it.The bridge lit up at night is great and rather romantic, chinatown is great as well, walking along the piers is great, the whole damned town is amazing and a great romantic date atmosphere. Thinking of a trip there myself soon.Me and Julz want ot take in Yellowstone for our honeymoon and do some backpacking. Iv seen it before on foot and shes never been so the honeymoon is out but I do wnat to take her to frisco for a weekend. Of course I have a step sister there so I get insider info on things to do and going ons, but if ya give me dates that youd go Id be happy to call her and ask for ya what the reccomends are for that weekend. Sometimes a sshort weekend is just as good as a week or two on a real vacation if its the right place with the right people. Even is summer its a bit cooler there along the sea, all the better for snuggling up for some uhhh 'romance' in the sand.
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hey chance, i didn't mean to dismiss your post as negative bullshit, you were spot on about all of it. And i have to say i wish some stupid teenagers who 'want a baby' without understanding what it entails, would read something like that and think twice.
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>You just sound really tired and depressed.
Pretty much sums up how I feel. If anything else high anxiety, which I am prone too but I refuse to be out back on the meds for it (I don't like how they make me feel).
The problem is with my family they can be pretty pushy. I have expressed to them so many times that I need to find my one real passion. Most of my family feels that you don't have to like your job, just get a job that makes good money. Well I am not like that. I want a job that I am going to be happy with, one I am going to enjoy whether it makes good money or not.
And I agree with waiting until Adam is done with his BA, but that's going to be a couple years and I might go insane by than LoL. In seriousness there are some issues that have risen between Adam and I that we need to address to we are on the same page. Adam is a great person, and I am lucky to have someone as dedicated as him. I just want to make sure we are both striving for the same goal.
As for a vacation, we have talked about maybe doing a cruise this summer. Though not cheap, I think it would do a LOAD of good to be out on some tropical beaches drinking some fruiting beverages!!
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You are in a similar situation to me, I hate where I live but I cant get away. I hate going outside nowdays and barely leave the house because people always botherme when I do. But anyway, I would suggest you follow whatever would make you happiest. Or maybe make plans to move after adam finishes his schooling. Thats basicaly nwhat I am doing, finishing college then moving to the usa as soon as I finish and can get the money. Its just so hard to make a change when you lack the motivation, I dont know if you feel this way also?
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Its ok, I didnt feel dismissed :PI try to respond to teh right people as to keep the flow flowing when people read threads in threaded mode instead of flat.I understood wht you said, alot of what I said was negative, I did that on purpose, there is alot of negative things to having children. The negative things sometimes outweigth the posative for some people and since most people want kids and think of them as living dolls I thought I would portray the negative side heavier in an effort to add some reality to people that think its easy being a parent.Of course some of those negative things seem pretty posative at times and the line blurs often. I wouldnt trade my kids for anything in the world, I love the little fuckers!
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>> Most of my family feels that you don't have to like your job, just get a job that makes good money.
Well, of course this is totally wrong and you shouldn't follow their thoughts. It's not really bad arguing with your parents about your own decisions. My brothers and I've done it many times :P. I always argue with my parents about my studies (they never actually liked computers and I'm planning to do some postgraduates studies abroad). In the end, my parents always support us, even if they don't agree sometimes with our decisions :P
But I'm wondering, why haven't you found your real passions yet? I'd suggest you first to explore your talents and your virtues, and then you should make your plans. I feel so lucky, because I knew my passions since I was a small child [computers and music] :P
Btw, a cruise isn't always relaxing. I've done a cruise once for a week, and after it I couldn't stand on my feet [too many sightseeings] :P.
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Problem is I have found my passions. Problem is passion is plural. I originally started out school going for Archaeology, than went to a History Major, than to Dental Hygiene, than to Egyptology, than back to Dental Hygiene, to Sociology and now Sexology (Which is just a spin off a Sociology degree). There are just too many different things I want to do and I am always pulled in so many different directions. Granted I know I could get more than one degree... I know I should probably settle for one and than go from there. But which one? LoL. My degree though isn't the only issue I am having here. I am finding more and more that my friends seem to be completely fake. They only call me when they need me, but never to just "hang out' or go to dinner, things friends are supposed to do. At the same time though I have no desire to go out and make new friends here. I know a lot of people here and there are just not many people I can trust or would even try to trust. Most of them tried to break Adam and I up when we first started dating (hell some still try now) simply because they think I am too ugly to be with him. Not to mention not many of them like me because I have rejected a lot of them in one form or another. So there for some people think I am stuck up, when in reality I was just looking out for my best interest. There is just too much shit here to be bluntly honest and I am reaching the breaking point and someone is going to get the blunt end of it all.Okay sorry that was a bit of a rant. As for a cruise, I don't mind seeing a lot of sights, to me that is relaxing and it gives my brain some new images and fresh thoughts. Plus the one cruise we are looking at has 3 days that are just out at sea, so there would be a lot of relaxing at the pool and such. Plus all the formal dinners give me a good reason to break out my suits and get all dressed up LoL.
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Wow! You have many passions and you've studied many different sciences, indeed. From all the sciences you have studied, I'd prefer archeology, but this isn't my business. Every kind of study can be interesting.>> because they think I am too ugly to be with him.Really, how illiberal can people become? You really don't need this kind of "friends". But it's really sad the fact you want to move to another town, because you feel that you really don't fit in there anymore and you need someway to get away from all these. My reasons for moving to another town would be curiosity and experiencing a brand new beginning in my life. But I suppose you feel also like this, too.Anyway, I'm not against moving to another town [I hope I'll do the same thing really soon], but you have first to specify your priorities and preferences. Don't try anything silly [like leaving the ones you love] :P
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Though I have not made a huge progress in my problems, I have finally narrowed down my choices in a degree, and I am sticking to it this time... whether my family approves or not. I am either going to be a counselor for troubled teens (Actual degree field to be classed yet) or Anthropology in the sub field of Archaeology... I am leaning towards the later of the two. It was just going to be the counselor bit until I was looking on-line at the degrees and noticed they just added the anthropology-archaeology degree. Oh and I am dragging Katie with me to be my partner!! :grin:
Everything else will fall into place accordingly.
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either option sounds great, and im glad you are making postive steps towards changing what you don't like.