I'm new the forum - I have a question on erections...I'm 21 years old and I just started to have sex...however, when im going to, somtimes I can't get and/or maintain an erection...when i masterbate I get hard no prolem...I get morning wood and i get hard and aroused while i watch porn , i even get hard while my penis rubs against my leg....why cant i get hard or maitain an erection when im going to be sexual....its like theres nothing going on down there... sometimes its hard for me to get turnedon and I do precum A LOT!!!!!! I mean A LOT!! Like when her and I are getting sexual i have a wet spot from precum on my pants bigger than my hand... Could this have somethig to do with it...like lastnight my GF went to give me head (first time) and while we were makig out and all that i was semi erect and gettig horny, but when she went to pull my pants down and do it, she touched it and nothig happened, like i wasnt even really horny.. and i dont know whats going on!! ...help!!:-( this is ruiig my relatioship..please help
PreCum, Erection or Other Causes
It's probably just nerves - very common, many of of us have had the same thing happen. With time you'll feel more comfortable and the problem will go away.
I don't think it has anything physically to do with the pre-cum, but perhaps it is contributing to your nerves because you're nervous about what she'll think about it.
As Ineligible said, it's purely nerves. I've had the exact same problem. Unfortunately, the more you think about it, the worse it gets. I've found that I need to clear my mind of any thoughts about my erection in order to keep the little guy happy. It's hard, but here's some advice for you and guys like you (including me):
1. Try to not masturbate for a while. I've found that this makes me so horny that my mind can't bother itself with worries about erections.
2. How old are you? 21! Good man. Here's strategy two: Have one or two drinks- not enough to get drunk or to acquire the deadly "whiskey dick," but enough that you lose a couple inhibitions/worries (including your worries about the little general). I've found this strategy to be quite helpful as long as I'm careful to limit my alcohol intake. On the other hand, I don't suggest regularly relying on alcohol. The idea is that you have a couple of good nights and then you're able to stop worrying about your erection in the future.
3. Visual stimulation is fantastic to get your mind off the little guy. If she's going down on you, watch her. If you're having sex, choose a position that allows maximum visual stimulation (the exact position might depend on what sort of stimulation you need). Focus on something you find erotic (breasts, face, but, the actual penetration, etc.), and it'll help clear your mind of erection thoughts.
4. Reassure yourself that almost everyone has had this problem (or will have this problem) at some point. It's quite normal, and there's nothing wrong with your penis.
5. Mix it up! Try something kinky.
6. If all else fails, talk to your Dr about some medication. It sounds like you don't need it (you're hard when masturbating), but it can be good to get you over the hump if your problems persist.
Alright, that’s all. Good luck!
Edit: Ah, I forgot the most important advice. Talk to your gf, and assure her that you think she's hot (i.e. the erection isn't her problem), and that you're just having some temporary problems (I can assure you that this is true. It's just a minor bump in the road). Don't let it hurt your relationship.
Wow, thanks a lot y'all.. I was half expecting to be made fun of. Thank You for the help and the assurance.. it is greatly appreciated
Hey bud, you hang in there! You know the lil guy works so forget about this being a problem. The problem is that just like the rest of us you want SO bad for this to be great (the sex) that you have performance anxiety...or nerves or whatever you want to call it. Calm down, relax and just have fun! Don't worry about the precum, that too is very common. You'll be just fine, you're new at this and it takes some time for things to get worked out...but getting worked up is only going to make it worse. Welcome to the board!
I'm 20 and have the exact same problem. Annoying.
I'm hoping that over time it'll become easier.
She seems a bit scared of the male "parts", which then makes me self-concious.
just think about the porn or masturbation while you're having sex! I know it sounds corny but it just might work. I've never had sex, but I rely on thinking about porn or watching porn to get hard ons.
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