I don't know what it is, but for whatever reason my communication skills are horrible. I can't really meet new people because I have absolutely nothing to say, most of the time I tend to take things people say the wrong way and I say things that other people take the wrong way. I'm in a relationship with this girl where we tend to fight not over anything in particular other than the fact that I'll say something and she'll take it the wrong way or vice versa. I need some serious help, I have no idea what the hell to do, and this is seriously hindering my relationship and my chances to meet new people.
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Communication Skills, or should I say lack thereof
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Ok, the lack of any replies is only making me start to believe that I really can't communicate with people.
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How old are you? Communication skills improve over time, when i was 15 i was very much like you, i was also shy and timid, i would rarely dare have a conversation with a girl.Now im 20 i am completely the opposite!Someone once said..."During conversation people dont listen they mearly wait for their turn to speak"Gist of it is is that most people dont listen to what other people say they just want to get their own views and oppinions in.Try this,,, dont think of stuff to say, ask questions. That way you dont need to worry about what to say let other people the talking. People really like to be listened to and if you come accross as interested people will be more positive with you.When meeting new people theres soo much to ask"Who Are You?""What do you do?""What you in to?""Whats your Story?"or a personal favorate..."Are you the kinda person i'd like to know better?" (They will say yes)..."Why?Besides,,, 70+% of an interaction is body language, what you acctually say only accounts for very little of a social interaction, its more how you say it.Have a look on the internet at stuff like conversation, body language and rapport, these are the key factors of social interaction, its a topic i personally find fascinating.
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Well one thing that my mom, dad, sister, brother... teacher... friends always tell me is to think before I speak. Think about how it might come out. That doesn't mean you have to take 50 hours to go over one little sentence. Just make sure it won't offend anyone mainly your girlfriend in anyway. And if she still takes it the wrong way don't rush in to defend yourself as most people including me would do. Explain to her calmly what you mean. Don't bumrush her; listen to her when she's speaking or yelling at you and when she's finished then tell her. As for trying to communicate with other people, you might want to think of a subject. If it's a guy it could be about a sports game or a car etc, what you guys like. if it's a girl, ask her about herself, what she likes, etc. I don't know if guys like that though. I know most don't. Hope that helps.
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You sound like me 5 years ago. I still have problems starting conversations but saying the wrong thing isn't one of them anymore. I fixed it by just picking a girl out and just being friends I learned how to talk to women because I found out the hard way you can't talk to women like you would talk to your homies. You will see that kind of relationship in movies as well in reallife.