Well.. I havn't been depressed for any long ammount of time in a while ( Sometimes I am for a day.. but thats it... and I'm good for while ) ... but.. I have noticed something... I still listen to depressing music.. Think about depressing things.. Like I want to be again I mean.. I don't get pulled in... I will just think it.. and think it.. But can't get down.. ( good thing tho ) What is up with it? I just remain happy... and I'm N O T high all the time.. I actually cut down.. and its working out better for me.. I only do it on the weekends... ( so mabye twice a weekend.. THATS IT THO.. ) .... So any input? Kinda odd? normal? I'm fine it happens to everyone?
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Wanting to be depressed?
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Sometimes we want to be sick, because it gives us an excuse for not doing things.
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That makes since... Seeing how I'm working on getting my grades up... Well Mr. Depression it isn't working... Your not bringing home a pay check when your older
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one of my things on wanting to be depressed is that it is ALL i know. I have been depressed my whole life, i've had ADD and never felt i was good engough by myself, i always had to have a little pill to get me to get good grades or some sort of drink to help me focus in my baseball games so i could actually make it throught 7 innings. I listen to depressing music, do depressing things, and am hard on myself in an effort to get back to what i've always known i think
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I've known lots of people that are depressed (on other forums and such) and their reason being they want attention... when you're sad then someone might come up to you and ask you what's going on and things like that... kind of a lame reason to be depressed but it's been done... (not my reason in case anybody wonders)
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Yeah.. Accept.. When I'm depressed.. I want to be left alone.... and I put on a front with friends so they don't know.. and don't ask... and think everything is fine.. But.. I'm doing alot better.. After the wanting to be depressed passed.. I have been great ever since
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I know what you mean about pretending to be fine when you're depressed... I usually try that, and it used to work all the time, no harm done, but it's starting to show now even when I chat with people on IRC or wherever... people start asking me what's up and why I always use smilies like :/ and |: (which people think are negative smilies, but I disagree)