Attached

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Ok i dont know if this happens to anyone else but.....do you find yourself getting very attached very easily to people you date? and its not always people you are going out with but even people that you met maybe a couple weeks ago and uve talked alot and you start to look at your phone all the time expecting them to call or text, or check your email in hopes they sent you something. i have this problem and its really annoyying. Its like i expect every moment to be perfect with the person, and when its not i get depressed. i know im over thinking things but does anyone else know where im coming from?

Nope... Dude, That's kinda scary.

I don't think it's that uncommon, and it has everything to do with insecurity. Unfortunately, it can interfere with relationships, if you don't hide it well, and come across as needy.

yea i know thats my problem. i hate that im that way, but i dont know how to change it. i try to not care, but i just cant do it. I think the problem is stemmed off of my past, and unfortunately i carry it along with me into future relationships

i know exactly how you feel. I kind of have a similar problem. It's really hard not to get attached to someone. With some people you just expect things, and are kind of hurt when they do little things that they don't mean, but it gets the best of you.... know exactly how you feel.

When I first started a relationship with my first and current bf I was really really crazy. I used to check my phone, email, look around at class, on the train, across the street. I think I was obsessed but it's not that bad now thank goodness.

yup, know exactly how you feel. lol

Yeah I'm like that.. pretty bad actually. I know I'm insecure, and trying my best to get over it!

I've been there, done that...

Im a guy though, doesnt it seem wierd? see im not those guys that dont care. Im a sensitive guy

Guys are no better than girls in this area. They're probably worse.

"Yeah I'm like that.. pretty bad actually. I know I'm insecure, and trying my best to get over it!"Is that what it is… Insecurity?? I didn't know that there were so many people out there who did this or felt this way... Why is that? What compels all ya'll to become so clingy and needful with someone only after one date or just talking with them?This seems serious. Does this most likely turn into jealous rage later on in the relationship?

I didn't know that there were so many people out there who did this or felt this way... Why is that? > > What compels all ya'll to become so clingy and needful with someone only after one date or just talking with them?Some people think, "No one will ever love me", and if they're shown some small bit of affection, they'll overreact, as a starving person would when given a snack. (OK that was over-dramatic, but you know what I mean.)> This seems serious. Does this most likely turn into jealous rage later on in the relationship?I think disappointment is the more likely outcome.The problem is that two people are not usually in the same place with regard to how much space they need, at least early in the relationship (it will probably not become a long-term relationship unless they eventually see eye-to-eye on the subject).

I have no idea why i act this way, if i knew then i would be able to stop it. I guess it has to do a little with what steve said. But also it builds on that fact and when you do eventually find someone, you kind of ignore any downsides they have and just want to be wtih someone. I wouldnt say it necessarily causes jealousy, its dissapointment like steve also said. You get dissapointed when the other person doesnt show the same affection towards you as u do to them. Its as if your minds are always at the opposite state. and thats in the beginning. however if you are with the type of person that takes a while to fall head over heels for u, then you may end the relationship early because of that and possibly ruin something that could have been.

I have no idea why i act this way, if i knew then i would be able to stop it.That's a flawed assumptions about psychoanalysis. People think that understanding the motivation of their behavior will automatically make them able to fix it. It's often not true.

well i figure if i knew what caused it, it would be a step in the right direction to try to help myself

Yes, it's pretty hard to address the issue otherwise. I'm just saying that the insight doesn't magically lead to a solution, in many, if not most, cases. (I'm speaking in general, and not necessarily about the liking-too-much-too-fast thing.)

yea i gotcha. well i guess what i need to do is to not show my attachment like i did before. I need to keep more on the quiet side about things. I really blame myself for my past relationship just because of what ive explained. so i guess i can use what i did their, as motivation in the future to do the EXACT OPPOSITE. does this make sense?

as motivation in the future to do the EXACT OPPOSITESeeming too clingy and needy is a good way to kill a relationship. You should be able to use the result as a motivation not to, but it may unconsciously have the opposite effect. However you feel, you need to give the other person a certain amount of space and trust. It's not easy to control your feelings, but you need to try to control you behavior.

yea i need to be careful that when giving space i dont give too much space. i need to work on finding a balance somewhere. its really hard, i found myself in the past ruining my vacation because of my feelings when i was dating someone at that time. ill just have to work on it and do the best i can i guess