I am having a serious problem with my friend. He and I (I am a male) have been good friends since kindergarten, for many many years. ALthough he is my great friend, he does something all the time that really hurts me, and I have no way of making him stop.There is this one girl at my school whom I really like. She and I talk a lot, sometimes even flirt a bit, but everytime he and I are together and she walks by, he yells (at the girl I like) "He likes you! He has naughty dreams about you!" while pointing at me. This REALLY hurts. I don't know what to say when the girl looks back at me. I don't know whether to just stand there, say no, fight him, or w/e, but the thing is that sometimes I notice she doesn't talk to me a lot after this. He has killed MANY potential girlfriends with this ( the numbers are in the double digits by now). In fact, any girl I talk to, he says that to. I really don't know what to do. Beating him up is really not an option, as he is the dominant one and I would be the one who lost the battle. I really want this to stop but if I tell him, it just encourages him more. It really pisses me off, I've told him many times that I have never spoiled a relationship for him like that before. It just really kills it, having your friend tell a girl you like her. You're supposed to wait until the right time and go tell her yourself. Can anyone give me some tips and help me? This needs to stop. I'm getting desperate for a girlfriend. I've come VERY close, only to be stopped by him. He is and old friend, so It's not like I'm just going to stop hanging out with him for that, but....
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Serious Problem with my friend...
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You're right, it does need to stop. And it is most likely up to you to stop it. You need to have a talk with your buddy and tell him that behavior needs to stop. And when you do it, you need to be firm about it. Don't be passive/nice/mamby-pamby when you talk with him. Tell him exactly what it is he does that you want him to stop doing. And then you might tell him what the negative consequences of his behavior is for you. Then...and this is the hard part...you need to decide what is going to happen if he doesn't stop doing it, and let him know what the consequences of his continuing to do it will be.One question I do have is why is he doing it? That might be worth looking at or talking with him about. Is he jealous? Does he think he's helping you? I would bet if you found out the answer to this question, you would have a better idea of how to stop the behavior.
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Welcome to A2A, weirdlookingguy. I suspect that underlying his behaviour is insecurity. He's afraid if you get a girlfriend he'll be on his own, and so he stops it happening. You can't let it go on, though, and I think it's serious enough to break up the friendship over. If you talked to him about it already and he hasn't stopped, it doesn't seem likely that he'll change.You could try using it on him - especially if it's a guy he's talking to. That may break the friendship, but frankly I think that would be a good thing. He's dominating you and it's unhealthy for you.
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I doubt talking to him will do anything, except maybe fuel the fire.Have plenty of retorts handy.The next time he tells a girl you were dreaming about her, then shout out, Well he was dreaming about your brother.....or whatever, you get the idea. Just make sure your comeback is more degrading, to him, than whatever he said about you. I have a friend like this, he is a good friend and I don't want to lose him, but its the only way to shut him up. Works pretty well.
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Talk to the girl about it. Tell her your friend is a doink and you do like her but that he's just being obnoxious.He's probably feeling insecure, he may like her and not know how to express it to you or her. And because he's a jerk to her she doesn't like him and does like you. Possibly why he's trying to sabotage your relationship with her.
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Um, tell him off, ditch him, and say he's a nerd for saying stuff like that