About two years ago I lostmy best friend.He didnt die,He moved clear across the country without saying good bye.I loved this kid like a bother,I hung out with him all the time.I thought he was great and he thought I was too.I only got to see him on the weekends when I would stay at my grandmas. Well one day I got in trouble from my dad and he said I wasent allowed to go over my grandmas anymore. So I didnt go up for a while and I guess I forgot about him cause I didnt call him for a while.So time went by and I hardly saw or heard from him agian,I tired callin him- no answer,I tired talking to him on the internet but hed say he would be right back but he never answered me back.So then I started to hear he was drinking and doing drugs,I think just smoking weed but thats not the best friend I knew,he never drank or smoked or got high.The last time I saw him wasabout a year before he moved,He was excited to see me and yelled for me and i ran up to him to hug him and he just jumped on top of me and I couldnt stop laughing and smiling like an idiot.So he finally moved away,Didnt say goodbye.matter of fact he didnt even tell me he was moving I heard it from many people.So its been a year since He's moved,Hes been back here a few times,never called me or anything.Hes called a few of our friends and everything but People have said hes changed,I know he doesnt like this town,thats why he moved but I cant understand why he hasent called me,I just cant get the balls to try to talk to him agian on the internet cause I dont think he gives a damn about me.I think about him all the time.I dunno what to do,does anyone have any advice?should I just forget about him? I dont want to cause he was a great kid..
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Lost my best friend
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I feel sad for you coys. I've had that same thing happen to me as an adult. My closest friend just kind of drifted away for some reasons similar to what you're speculating. At first I thought maybe he was afraid I would condemn, but then I realized he was probably just feeling some shame. It's hard to know what to do. I got lucky and my friend came back around. Not like it was before, but at least I talk to him or email him from time to time (he just got back from a tour in Iraq.) It's hard to know what to do. You could be persistent, but not annoying, and continue trying to contact him. If you do you have to make the decision to act like you know nothing about what he's been doing, or you could mention it. It might actually mean a lot to him for you to somehow let him know that you want to be his friend - and want his friendship - despite what he's doing. You don't even have to mention "drugs" or "drinking". Just let him know that, whatever is going on, you still value his friendship and that you are SAFE. Like Helms said, you'll lose friends over your lifetime. And it can hurt like hell. I hope that isn't the case for you here.
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Look the best advice i can give is to move on. In life friends will come and go all the time. It is not that often that you have a life long friend. People change, they go their own ways. The important thing to do is keep ur head up, realise that you're not alone and find new friends. I promise you this is normal, it happens to all of us and there is no reason to be depressed about it. You need to worry about yourself and just find other people that share your interests. You'll be fine
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The thing Is I dont wanna forget about him,We have had so many laughs and good times,When I think about the times weve had It makes me happy but then I realize I'll never get to have them agian and that brings sadness.I have mad many new friends since him but I dunno if they will ever be as great as he was.I did worry about him alot when i heard that stuff.The thing is I dont wanna move on,I want to live mylife the way it was but I know U cant live in the past.
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There's a huge difference between remembering good times and living in the past. It's great you have good memories. You should. But you also need to move on and enjoy the friends you've got now. YOu don't want to miss out on (or lose) what you've got because of what you've lost.
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I want to move on but it just sucks I cant live in the future without him.ahh I dunno.I am missing out on the friends I have now,I have some really good ones,I want to keep them but I just feel like Im going to loose them as well.
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As everyone else has said, friends will come and go through out your life. Each one will have a special place in your heart and each on will be part of that amazing memory you look back on every now and then. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, and each "friend" we have in our lives change us in many diffrent ways. I've been out of high school for two years as well, and I'll admit that it's hard not having you're buddies around anymore. One of my friends moved to Ohio for college, one moved an hour away for college, I've lost touch with several other friends, and yes it's sad, but it's also a part of growing up. If someone would have told me two years ago that I would be missing my friends from high school like I am now, I'd have said they were nuts because my little group of friends vowed to stay together for ever. It doesn't always happen that way though. We grew up, got jobs, got married, had children, went to college, and so many other things, and we all just drifted apart. I've made new friends, and on occasion I'll see my old ones, but it's not the same anymore because we've gone down diffrent paths. I still love them, and I still miss them, but I'm happy that they've moved on and started thier own lives. It's great to get together every once in a while and reminisce about the good o'l days, but you have to realize, even though you may have a few life long friends not all of them will always be there. It's better to cherish the friendship you had and move on and create new friendships. If you stay in the past, you're going to miss your future. Good luck sweetie ^_^
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Yea i dont mean to forget about the good times. I remember every single good time ive had with friends in m life. and 99% of them i dont even talk to anymore. like everyone has been saying, and as i said, they will come n go. There is no reason to halt your life because of this, remember the past, but dont live in it
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People change, especially in our formative years. I am no longer friends with a great deal of my mates from my first four or so years of secondary school, infact many of them our outright enemies.
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In reply to: I cant live in the future without him. This concerns me a lot. This is a lot more than just missing a friend, or grieving the loss of a friend. This sounds like an obsession. And guess what? I've been there too. It's not healthy and if you don't find a way to move beyond it, you will create a prison for yourself and render yourself almost incapable of developing friends in the future. I say that respectfully. Like I said, I've done the same thing. It really helped me to imagine a life without my friend and what could be good about it. I actually began to see how the friend not being around could even free me up to be healthy in ways I wasn't before. It actually helped me be a better, healthier friend when my friend came back around.I don't think anyone here is trying to minimize your hurt. But at the same time, you really need to find a way to move on.
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Hi Coys, i've been in the same position 2, but let me just say that u WILL find another friend who will give u just as much joy and happiness. When i was 20 i had this AWESOME friend who i would probably see 5 times a week at times. For 3 years we were the best of friends. At the time i couldnt imagine life without hanging around him. Yeah i had other friends but none came up to him. WE could talk about anything and we trusted eachother greatly, but unfortunaltely he moved away (only slighty) and found new friends and because of that we SLOWLY drifted apart. It didnt happen overnight but it did happen.Now I'm 32 and guess what? I have a best friend who surpasses my old best friend in every way. I NEVER thought this would be possible. And the best part is that i actually work with this guy.Its true what everyone on the board here says, friends WILL come and go. U just have to make sure that YOU are being the best friend that u can and others will appreciate you 2.Just keep that chin up. I would try ONE time to contact ur friend and if he doesnt respond i would forget about it. You cant live ur life waiting for something that may never happen. As long as YOU have given it ur all to get the friendship back, then u can do know more and u MUST move on.All the best with it.
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I know friend will come and go,its happend to me before.This kid was great and we were so much alike.I've never had that ONE best friend like most people,U know the one that they are always with and they tell everything to. We werent like that but we were pretty close.The thing is I feel like I am a terrible friend because I dont have a best friend,I have friends that I love and I spend an good amount of time with but I feel like I'll never get close to any friends,My senior year I became enemys with two of my other friends,I thought they were my best friends but I was wrong,When I think about it now i realize they werent good friends at all.Im not obsessed with my old friend,Just misssing him.I might have been a while back when this all happend,I thought of him all the time like he did pass away.I dont know maybe I am.Whenever I pass his old house I stop and sit there for a few secs hoping its all a bad dream and he will come out of the house and everything will be fine agian.I may try to contact him one more time and then give up on him but not in a mean or angry way,I'll just say my goodbyes and thanks for the memories.thanks for the replys folks,they mean so much to me.
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I had a fight wif my bestie recently i havent spoke 2 her 4 a month now....it is still hard 2 get thru dayz but my guy is always there 4 company!