I understand what you're getting at here. And it's a real fear that kids who are being bullied can have. But it's also a fear that needlessly prevents them from reporting what's happening. One of the problems with teachers is that they often are not aware that the bullying is happening. This is because bullies bully in places and times where there is little or no adult supervision. It happens on the bus or in the hallways or on the playground. Not so much during class. And the reason bullies do what they do - typically - has more to do with their own sense of power and position then it does actually bringing harm to someone. It's a power differential. If there is a real possibility of the bully getting in serious trouble for his actions, he will typically stop, or at least severely curtail, his bullying. Which is why he doesn't do it in front of a teacher. So...if the teacher is made aware of what is going on and chooses to monitor the situation AND make it clear to the bully that he is being watched, and that his behavior won't be tolerated, he no longer has any power. Add to that the current state of things in which bullying is being taken more seriously in schools (to the point that, in some cases, law enforcement has been brought it) there really is no reason to not report what is happening.
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Bullies...how to deal with them?
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I see what you are saying.. the problem with alot of teachers is they just tell the bully to stop and don't do anything else to enforce it.My dad and mom always tought me.. push me once.. push me twice.. or take a swing at me.. i can beat your ass.. but there is a difference between me and alot of other kids around.
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In reply to: the problem with alot of teachers is they just tell the bully to stop and don't do anything else to enforce it. Well more and more legislation is being passed to make sure that these teachers are required to do something to enforce it. What is your state doing?
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I taught my kids the first physical contact initiates the fight be it a push or a touch. Iv spent alot of time in the principals office defending this and they always threaten my kids with cops. They call them when I tell them to stick the cop in their ass and the cops agree with me, physical contact that is battery, the verbal is assault and you do have the right to defend yourself.My kids also know if they start the fight its their ass and I'm the one whose going to be beating it.
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My kids also know if they start the fight its their ass and I'm the one whose going to be beating it. Yah thats EXACTLY how my dad is lol... he also told me if i fought as much as he did when he was a kid that he would kick my ass because he fought to much.. o well kind of funny.
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Not trying to be harsh, dont take it like a little bitch, i used to have problems with bullies, till i started working out and stuff like that, im 14 and skinny, so just stand up to them and if they knock you out, you at least tried and you can take em to court.
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Why are you replying to me... i work out every day just so you know.
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i was'nt, i was repying to the first guy.
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It says that you were replying to him. Do you just click the reply button on the bottom post? If so, you're always responding to the last person who posted. I'm sure you meant to reply to the other guy, but it helps to clarify who you're responding to by clicking on the right post to respond to.
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hey pyro can you give us a update on your situation... what the last 3 days have been like? you dont have to talk about if you dont want to, but im curious to know how it is going?
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In reply to:
Don't be afraid to to take a stand.
that's the hardist thing to do.
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Yah it is.
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Thanks for asking Osir1sSk8r (Wierd name...lol)It's actually going well. Practically no bullying that I can remember at all has happened in a while. I've learned to almost completely avoid one of them, and the other, well he's not doing much anymore.
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i can relate with you on so many levels, not that im trying to make this about me, but im 14, going on 15, and at your age my life was a living HELL because of bullies. Im still skinny ( because i grow so fast, you cant grow and get fat at the same time ) despite all my excercising, and im going to give you advice ive been waiting to give to someone like you:now, im not sure if these bullies are hitting or just mocking you, but either way you dont have to take it. Your self confidence is good, and its something i lacked at your age, but confidence only stops bullies if they can see it. The best thing to do is step back and evaluate yourself right now:bullies look for people who have no older brothers or friends to protect them, and for people who stand out and cannot fight back. Youve probably heard the cliche advice, ignore it, or walk away, but that never works. Its bad for the soul to have to 'take' bullying, and while occasionally an older person will give me some hassle ( a few weeks ago a guy pushed me randomly, and he was surrounded by his friends so i did nothing ) its because i have big, spiky hair that draws attention to me. I refuse to cut it because girls love it and i think thats more important than not getting hassled, but what you need to do is take an honest look at yourself. Think; am i doing anything that stops me from blending in?i.e do you wear different clothes from others?do you wear glasses? (always bad if you cant carry the look off, which few people can)do you talk differently from others? are your friends geeks?these are never nice things to face up to, but they are things you need to correct to avoid being bullied. No matter how strong you get, people can outnumber you, so rather than being able to fight bullies or avoid them, what you do is stop them from coming altogether. Remember, bullying can destroy your self esteem eventually, and adults who where bullied as kids have incredibly unhappy lives, something no amount of money can undo ( which sadly renders the comfort of being an A student kinda useless, sorry )its not hard, just look at your common popular bully, start dressing like them, acting like them, if your friends are losers, find better friends. It may sound cowardly, and it may sound on paper like something no decent person would do, but its not as if you actually have to bully people, just dress and talk like a bully. Bullies dont pick on their own.I used to get stopped and hassled and name called a LOT, because of my glasses, voice and social status, so i got contacts. I flat out abandoned my friends and made friends with popular people ( non of whom are bullies ) im skinny, but i have the kind of bruce lee muscle going on, the skinny muscular body, which i get from doing 30-40 pushups a night on my fists on a hard floor. It didnt take long to get to grips with it. Alternatively you could buy weights. This turned my life around, because people know im strong and that deterrs them from coming at me alone. Once i had conformed, bought popular clothes, made popular friends, started 'talking' popular, the amount i got and now get bullied almost dropped to zero, in fact its only random gangs hassling me when im on my own, which i dont let bother me, because if anyone hits me, guess what, i get my popular friends to back me up. Its important to be yourself, but dont be stubborn, be a clone, then let your true self show, little by little, and you wont be bullied anymore. Keep my mindlessly long nonsensical rant in mind.-AK
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I appreciate a lot of what you're saying Africa, but the last thing we should be doing is expecting others to change themselves to keep from being bullied. I they are being bullied because they are obese or don't bathe or something like that...okay maybe they should take a look at that, for a lot of reasons other than the bullying. But if they are just being bullied for the way they look or the way they dress, that is the bullies problem, not the victims. And as for tryng to imitate the bully and his/her way of dressing. NO! NEVER! First of all, the bully would be on to you and would make it worse. Secondly, why would you want to imitate an asshole?
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WOw, big post there. 0_o1: I switched to contacts a few years ago. :P2: My clothes? Well, not that I notice...I wear jeans and a shirt. I try to pick stuff with flames and other stuff like that.3: Yes, my friends are geeks, and so am I. That's not going to changeI would never abandon my friends...if I had to drop them out of my life and be part of a group of idiots to stop being bullied, I'll pick being bullied. EDIT: and it is kinda comforting to know that some of my friends get bullied as well, so I'm not totally alone.
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Well, it's obvious that you have one thing your bullies don't...character. Hold on to that.
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i dont imitate bullies, i just talk the way popular kids talk. Most kids talk different at school than they do at home, and while its nice to have your own voice and your own look and your own style of dressing, its not worth it if it means getting bullied. Yeah, you shouldnt have to change yourself, but sometimes you just have to, and if you want to be stubborn and dress/talk dorky, then expect to be bullied. I never changed my personality, just my appearance. When i disagree with something, i still speak up. I still tell people i like rock music, my opinions, etc when i asked, so really its not changing who you are, just the case you come in. EDIT: by the way, i read a post by someone who suggested learning to box and just punching them in the face when they push you, because most bullies are too weak to actually fight. Now, im not trying to offend this member, and their opinion is valid, but things vary in different places. For example, in my school, no bully will pick on someone they arent confident they can take. bullies travel in 'crews' or 'small gangs' and justify picking on people in groups as 'having someones back'. Yeah, so if some toehead hits me and i hit him back and his 10 friends jump on me ( never happened, just giving an example ) you really think thats 'having eachothers' backs'? Bullies are cowards, that much is true, because they dont pick on people of equal or higher fighting strength, but they arent weaklings most of the time. Learn to fight as a means of self defence, simply because hitting back when youre getting hit is better than just taking it, but dont get cocky.
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I don't think you quite get why its bad to change who you are, whether its appearance or not is wrong.Point being people should mind their own business and not be so concerned on what brand name people are wearing or how people talk etc etc. By changing your appearance/talk/glasses etc you are doing nothing but giving into their (bullies) opinion and style. You shouldn't be forced to change yourself in anyway just to not get harassed at school.Stick up for whom you are and be who YOU are, don’t change yourself and be a lemming.
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you are so right i was harassed at school before and i took care of it my own way