Okay lets get something straight

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There is no one correct post to respond to so lucky you I clicked your to enter my two cents.

When someone close to you dies its a real bitch and fit doesn't just go away. Its been nearly 3 years since my grandpa died and I sat at the bed for months before it happened watching and waiting and hoping. suffering is a bullshit policy for someone who never did anything disgustingly wrong to the world. Watching them an knowing its coming doesn't make it easier when they go. You should feel bad and you should grieve and while it is a normal part of life it doesn't mean you cant feel shitty for a while while you try to get over the fact that you can never see them again and all the things that could of been with them are now lost. I watched all of my grandparents die from the time I was ten, cancer was first then years later it was my other grandma with all her organs shutting down and her blood becoming septic and poisoning her then my grandpa falling and breaking two femurs and getting a staff infection that killed him slowly while he lay in a bed because of a germ he picked up in surgery.
Every time I felt shitty and was depressed and still to this day when I look at my kids and think what they are missing with my grandparents and that makes me fell bad still. Its OK to grieve an its OK to feel shitty years later over the loss.
I understand what Walken meant when he said what he did, he should of used a few more words to clarify and better expressed his ideas on death. But he didn't, Katie understood what he meant and shes fine with it.
Should he of started this thread to have the argument?
probably not. Angel, Wicca is your beliefs and if I attacked them wouldn't you strike back? when you guys jumped him over it you were attacking him, it was a misunderstanding and you all felt that you were defending Katie. Walken should of probably defended himself to you guys in PM's instead of dragging it into the open forum. He didn't, he screwed up but I can understand why and how.

Now that you guys have all had a go at each other in public and Katie has made the statement that she understand what he meant and isn't offended, how about all of you shutting up and if you feel a need to continue this doing it in PM ?
Keep in mind I'm not attacking you guys, just defending Walken to a point and reverberating Katie's wishes to stop arguing over her thread and what was said.
Aside from this post Ill be keeping my ass out of it.
I understand Walkens side and I understand why you all think he was so heartless but isn't all of that beside the point at this current minute in time? You all think of Katie as your Friend, shouldn't you be focusing your efforts and energy toward her instead of to iron out a shitty communication error?
Thats how I see it at any rate, you can all feel however ya like over my opinion.

Wow, I actually thought Jon, I think that's your name, is a very nice person. And I sort of understand what you mean when you say mourning is pointless because life goes on and that's the process. However, if you've lived with someon and known them all of your life and all of a sudden they're just gone, it hurts. Alot. You can't just go "oh well he/she died. that's life" it's not that easy. And though some people such as yourself have the ability to stay strong and not show many emotions to the world not everyone can do that. See, my dad is just like you in a way. When my grand uncle died he said nothing, did nothing and didn't shed a tear. But my father had lived with him since he was a baby in South Carolina. Even at the funeral he didn't shed a tear. It wasn't until later he just threw out the water works and that was the first time I ever saw him cry in my life. You know people like to show just how tough and strong they are. But we let our confidence and our "supreme intellect" get in the way of what things really mean. Sometimes you HAVE to cry. Sometime you HAVE to be sorry. It's human nature. And I'm not going to bring in my beliefs. But there are some things that just don't need to be said. And becase Katie is in hard times people find it offensive and weird that you basically told her there's no reason to cry. My friend's father who I knew for over five years was murdered and found in the back of a trunk. That's something to cry about. On all levels. To a point that maybe the mind cannot comprehendAnyway, I really think that the uproar was unnecessary. I thought all of you were good friends. Even though he might have said something wrong it's no reason to split up. That's the point. To see things from a different perspective. And Walken or Jon, I think that what you said got people in an uproar because of the situation and timing. And sometimes when you try to make things clear from your perspective to other people it just doesn't work out as you plan. And the more you try to explain the worse and worse it gets. Personally, I don't like unforghetto. He's been rude to not only other's but me on many occassions. But I guess not everything he's said was bad. EDIT: I also don't understand why cursing is needed it just adds to the hostility. It might just be me because I'm not used to it. But when someone curses I usually get bad vibes. HINT HINT lol

Just to state I wasn't cutting Jon up or saying he was a bad person i was simply trying to explain to him how other might have seen his comment has cold as well as explain to him why people say "i'm sorry" when it comes to death,Sorry if it came off otherwise because that wasn't the intent.

this will be my last post on here for a little while. I am going to not visit it for awhile. I got angry b/c you accused me of being cold to someone that I care about deeply. I do care about Katie and how others feel, but when someone says I am being cold/heartless, that sends me over.Nrtoducing, you were fine, I understood what you said. I will see you guys in a bit, I am just disgusted at what someone would say that about me and how I care for someone. Y'all have a good one and Kats if you read this, tallk to me whenever, for you I always have open ear (well eye technically).

Mourning is a very important stage of getting over a death.. Trust me I've been through it all.. too many people I know have died.. Actually 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One thing you have to know is that no one will ever handle it the same way. Everyone will have different feelings and emotions. The way YOU handle a situation is your way. The way someone else is.. is their way of trying to accept a death. You should not tell someone how they should feel or act when they are going through that stage of their life. In reply to: So that is the approach I take and think everyone should take. it makes for a much better situation also allows you to think clearly. Read that over...

You need to calm down.

Everyone deals with death differently. There is no wrong or right way to deal with it. It is what it is.Walken is taking a break from the site, he and Kaitie seem to have reached an understanding- so leave it alone.

How come everyone is so bossy? Jeez

Chance, make me out to be the bad guy once again, I could care less, I was far from the only one who thought what he said was inappropriate.However, i did say, and i will say it again that i got, understood and agreed with what he was saying, it was just the wrong time.

Yeah we all do. However, Jon said everyone was "stupid" for thinking the way they do and thinks "everyone should take" his approach. While I completely understand what he is saying.. that life goes on... I find his comments (and I'm looking for the right word) rather callous. On top of it.. he stomps off to pout. Give me a break.

I guess when someone dies, I should go up to the family members with a big grin and say "Hey, lets go get some pizza and beer and celebrate their life". I'm sure that would go over very well.

yea maybe what he said was a bit much, but its just his opinion. I dont get why people seem to think there is only one to deal with death. It is kind of funny how people get mad in a forum, suddenly have so many other things to focus on in their life, and have to take a break from a2a for a while. After awhile storming off to pout looses its dramatic effect.

Dont even start trying to tell me what to do.

Most times its just a coincidence that they have so much to do right after they have a fight on a2a, then happen to be available a week or so later? give me a break! I agree, some people do. Most dont

lol, oh i must of forgot, you are the only one with permission to tell others what to do. If you want to tell Walken about himself, even though he isnt even here, go right ahead. Oh i hope i didnt try to tell you what to do again. Lord knows what might happen if i did?

No... but he shouldn't have the right to tell anyone how to grieve.

Tell me you see the hypocrisy here?

Isn't that the point that people were nicely trying to make, before this stupid thread?