I have a bit of a problem I recently discovered and not sure what to do or think about it. My ex and I were celbrating our birthdays together last night in Niagra falls, we had a blast and in the end we rented a hotel room and spent the night together. We ended up having sex (my first time ever, and I was good with it finally ) but I noticed a few things right from the begining and I need some help and advice from people.I realize having sex for your first time, is generally disappointing and never what you expected, but this goes far beyond that. I guess I should point out, that I do love my ex still so I know it wasn't a question of my feelings for her, but I was bored last night having sex. about 5 - 10 minutes into it I was looking at the clock and thinking about random stuff, kissing her etc. We had sex for atleast an hour I could not cum once, over the course of the time, cum leaked slowly out but its not the same by far. For the first half I was ontop of her and then she got ontop of me. when she was ontop, I came close but I couldn't get the release.I noticed right away that I could feel myself inside of her, but I didn't really feel anything else, there was no real sensations, my mind didn't go blank or numb like it normally does when I am fooling around with someone. I can't decide how to feel. I don't regret having sex with my ex, as I said I love her and I am happy my first time was with her as I always want to remember my first time being with the person I loved. But at the same time I am frustrated. The first time we tried to have sex a few weeks back I couldn't stay erect enough to go into her (I was that nervous) and now I was unable to cum. I was able to perform well enough for her to get off but not for myself. now another problem I thought about that probably lead to this is masterbation. I haven't really been active sexually for a long time so I resorted to masterbation to get rid of stress, or enjoyment, etc. I am rough with myself when I do masterbate and unless I finish really quickly I find I can start losing my erection. After last night I realize that I have been way to rough with myself and somewaht 'taught' it that it has to be rough. Im curious if anyone knows of something that could help me? Suggestions are great. I am wondering if there is anyway to make my dick more sensitive again. The guys will remember when you were younger, after masterbating how it was so sensitive you couldn't touch it for like 10 minutes after without jumping. Don't need to be like that, but I want it so I can feel the sensations through it.
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Sensitivity in the Penis? (long story)
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I forgot two things. I have made an appt with my Doctor for this friday (deffinatly something people will suggest, I am sure)and my ex mentioned something about masterbating with a silk scarf. This was mentioned before we went to bed and fell asleep, I forgot to ask her when we woke up. What did she mean, can someone explain how this might help?
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Probably the first step would be to stop masturbation or at least really rough. The silk scarf is probably meant to give you a smooth silky surface which might be closer to the sensation of a vagina instead of your rough hand.
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Hey bud, you've already figured this one out. Your lil guy has become trained to your masturbation habits and a vagina is totally different and it'll take some getting used to. Doesn't matter if you've been "rough" or not, simply that your penis is used to your grip, speed, technique etc. The solution is simple and the silk scarf might help. Everytime you masturbate you need to change something, your grip, speed, add lube if you don't use any, take your time, slow down, try to masturbate to ejaculation with as little direct stimulation as possible....all of those things will help. In the mean time, enjoy trying if you plan to spend more time with her in this way etc. Be patient and don't be too hard on yourself, this is pretty common for some of us. Let us know if you need more help..and by the way...unless there is something else going on...I don't think seeing your doc over this is necessary just yet! You know the lil guy works so this is just something that needs a bit of "tweeking" in the sexual sense. Good luck!
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Thanks Lance. I am trying to change it all around. Its a little disconcerting though. She lives about two hours away from me and while I don't mind the drive, we both have very difficult work scheduals. When she moves here in the fall it will (hopefully) be differnt.on another note. The disconcerting part is that the first time we decided to have sex, I could not hold an erection enough to have sex. This being the second time we've tried to have sex...well it was good, but I couldn't feel much. What I felt was more being inside then pulling out and feeling it cold then back warm. That was the extent of it.Im worried that sex for me will always be like this, and it actually scares me a bit because I think that if it is like this for me, I will only be having sex with my partner to keep her happy and satisfied and will start to look at it as a chore and not something to be enjoyed.Now the silk scarf deal. How do you do it? How do you make it work? I deffinatly want to get the sensitivity back and the sensations.