Not into sex anymore

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Ok so Im really confucedI've been with my boyfriend now for 4 years (living together)And weve had sex maybe 4 months out of all that time (spread out over the 4 years)Im the one with the blockI love him and everything but I guess cant bring myself to having sex with him.Any ideas why I may be doing this and how to fix it would be great. I think he may leave me if I dont fix this soon

You might just love him like a brother

Is that really possible to fall outta love like that?

Yeah it is.Are you even attracted to him?

Loosing sexual interest in your partner usually is caused by a much larger problem. Are you guys having problems? Is there a lack of communication between both of you? Do you enjoy being with him? Does he please you enough when you’re having sex?There are some tough questions you need to ask yourself… Although, the frequency of sexual encounters a couple has usually decreases over time as the newness of one another wears off and real world sets in…

Thanks guys I guess we need to break upWe are drifting apart

Do you have a good relationship besides your sexual part?

Ya its not to bad we fight maybe once every few months

Well you shouldn't just break up because you don't want to have sex!

Well as it is now he may be the one doing the breaking up

I dunno if its worth hanging on to I mean theres so many things he does that bother me but I just keep quite aboutBut Im really scared to be alone so I want to stay with himIm just really confuced

In a less serious scale, with my and my previous girlfriend, that idea of built up resentment over continual annoyances sounds pretty accurate. I was annoyed by multiple things about her, even though I didn't dislike her as a person. To get her to change that... wouldn't that be trying to force someone to change who they are?I know that with me, I was going out with her for not even 2 months so it doesn't make sense if I'm already starting to feel uncomfortable about being with her to keep the relationship going. In Colleen's case though, would it be justified to try to get someone to change things about themselves in order to make a relationship work? I remember hearing many times that you can't force someone to change who they are, but in a case where a relationship has lasted awhile does that apply? Maybe I'm just trying to simplify this too much since it's obviously more complex than that, but my point is clear I think.

But Im really scared to be alone so I want to stay with him Seriously hon, being scared to be on your own is no reason to stay in a relationship with someone, especially when it't not working.

Talking to him isnt that easy he freaks out over nothing sometimes
I dunno how to go about it without making him really angry
Any ideas on that?

Thanks for the advice I'll give it a shot couples counselling is impossible because of where we live its very remote so theres nothing like that for a few hours driveIf we make it till june when we move then I will bring that up to him

Its great here but its time for a change I hope to retire in this area tho :smile:

Of course thats like 30 some odd years away lol

Im looking at one of the sites now :smile: