I need a bit of help.

---

Sorry for the length but im in need of some advice,help,I may aswel introduce myself aswel.My names James, im 17 and live in the uk.I havnt had many girlfriends, probably because im shy, im not a shy person in general but when it comes to girls im very shy, this changed when i met this girl (dont want to name her) she was 15 and i was 16 at the time, she had a BF and was friends with alot of my school mates, we got on right from the off and had alot to talk about, as things went on she started to get closer and more personal with me, as in sitting on my lap or kissing me for no reason.But she was doing all this infront of her BF and her/my mates, so i couldnt kiss her back or anything as it felt wrong, so i told her i carnt, bu tshe said i can and she doesnt mind if i kissed her back or held her hand.As you can imagine i found myself in a very difficult position, i really liked this girl, she really liked me and she showed me she did, but i couldnt show her i did as he BF was always with us as he "was" a mate.Anyway as time went on she started talking about children and that she wanted to be with me and have kids and all sorts, (she was still with her bf btw, who in my eyes treats her like crap) so i wrote her a letter to tell her how i felt, in short i wrote i really liked her, she wrote back saying she liked me, which was fantastic.anyway we kept writing to each other, talking on msn and hanging out together, one day she said to me, ive split up with ---- (her bf) so i thought let me give her her space and i will ask her out in a week or 2, so a week and a bit passes and i said will you go out with me, she said no im back with dean.So i thought to myself but if you realy like me why are you back with him?, so we fell out as i felt hurt and upset but she didnt care.months passed and we got talking again at the start of this month, and the other night it all happened again i said i like you, i really like you, she was flattered, then we got into the same convo, she said "your the one for me" (she is still with dean btw), i thought finally, but i needed to be sure, so i asked her 20 minutes ago if she ment it, she said "yeah kk lol", which to me sound like yeh in a jokey way, i said be honest with me, she said "no i love dean and dont want to hurt him and we are getting engaged when im 16" i thought shit youve taken me for a mug AGAIN, so as you can imagine im really hurt and upset, and this incident has cause me to lose all my confidence with girls.What do i do?, i want to go out and meet girls and have a good time with them but i feel unconfident (is that a real word, lol) and shy, i feel like i will make an idiot of myself for the 3rd time.Please help, kind regards, James

Ah one of those!You, my friend, are what we refer to as a cuddle bitch.You are there to provide the stuff which her crappy boyfriend doesn't give her. This would be stuff like listening, hugs, generally making her feel good.She will stay true to her boyfriend, though. Why? I honestly don't know. Girls are dumb sometimes. Maybe she's scared he'll beat her up. Maybe he's amazing in bed or something.She will continue to mess with you until you tell her to get lost...so guess what! You have to give her the heave-ho. And be strong too. She'll try and tempt you to stay, but you have to be firm and get rid. Trust me, it'll be much better in the long run.Also keep in mind that once you've done it, in a few months she'll somehow reappear again when her boyfriend kicks her in the stomach or something. You have to stay strong. Leave her to it.

tell her that she has to choose, she cant use you both. In the mean time, get a different girl. one that will be loyal to you and not play games.

Shes playing me for an idiot now, she says it was her bf that was saying them things to me to wind me up, and not her, i dont believe her one bit, but im not bothered, i dont want to be with someone who does this to me.

as i said she has done this to me twice now, last time i chose to remain friends, but that just aint going to happen, i want to go out and meet new girls, but my confidence has a massive dent in it now, and thats a big thing to me as i didnt have much confidence to start with

Fake it.
Meet new girls, they do not now who the hell you are, they are new!
Fake it, its all numbers if I based my confidence on being shot down I would be home alone jerking off 24/7 instead of just 8 hours a day, the other 16 I spend iwht my fiance'
its numbers man I swear it is. ask out 10 girls a day and youl end up with 10 dates every 10 days figure your good if you do it 10 times and get one yes, its only 10% BUT UNLESS YOUR BRAD PITT your not going to get 90 or 100% anyways so who gives a shit?
Iv asked out probally 1000+ girls and if rejection shattered my confidence Id be dead now.

Meeting women online is horible especialy if they live far away. I met my wife through a telepersonal ad. Basically, you buy telephone time, exchange info, and meet. I've met many women this way, most were not my type, but O.K. in the sack. It took awhile to find the right woman, but worth every dime Just going outdoors increases your chances, walk in the park, grocery store, talking to someone in a line-up. Computer dating just plain sucks for most people.

Sorry to say it but she's really been using you James. The sooner you get her out of your head the better, even though that is not particularly easy. Get yourself out there and meet a girl who will appreciate you and treat you right!