I feel like a child for posting this, but i don't have anyone in real life that I can talk to, and none of my on-line friends are really on right now so I need to rant sort of. Let me first say that right now is a horrible time to give up a stress reliever.I don't like the person I'm turning out to be i did something, that in a million years I NEVER would have done and, its just, Not me. i worked all my life for one thing, and i put it in jeopardy. I put my whole future in jeopardy. And, I don't understand things because, i mean. I dunno. My boyfriend left me. he left me out of the blue with out explaining anything and i hate this because i sound like in sixteen, but i don't know why he did and i just want everything to go back to how it was before. Before all of this stupid crap. and I want Greg because i really loved him. he's the first guy I've been able to really love and i just i don't know what to do now. I can't go back to California yet, because i don't want to risk my job after i finish college. i just , feel so incredibly alone right now.
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Blah problems
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a new place with noone familiar ?that only compounds the feeling.maybe you should of poisened those tater we were discussing a bit ago?or made the steak with a nice chocolate sauce derived from exlax Its normal to feel like that at home an add your current situation to it and it makes it worse.its the same story though, go out get over it.you do have on advantage there.your in fucking alaskamen out number women like 2 or 3 to 1.its easy for a girl to find a new guy any place but there you should have men fighting over you and this will do nothing but drive greg insane and maybe you will find someone your happier with then you were with him maybe it will be somone to get by the cold nights with till your return to warm cali.at worst you go out and havea good time.I know your pulling alot of hours a week even a day, but couldnt you find the time to slip away for a bit and have a good time?plus you got that dog so your one up on me
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they might out number us, but erm. uh, they arent like guys back in cali...then have beards...and dont shower...(just judging by what ive seen at the store and such)
I dont want another guy right now. i feel dirty. it feels like the only friend I have here now is my pup, and he's currently sleeping in the little box under my desk, I figured i'd use my chronic insomnia to work more. then maybe i could forget everything. so far it isnt working.
And that dinner was excellent btw :wink:
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uhhhhI have a beard I shower though and sometimes I cut the beard off to a goatee but it will never come off so long as I dont need it gone for a respirator or somethingf it covers up a big scar from my chin up and across fto the other side of my lip that I earned by being stupid on a motorcycle on easter a few years back when I jumped a 10 feet deep and 6 foot across ditch by launching off a sage brush. I made the jump but I did not stick the landing an uhh I was drunk at the time.never thought about it, but I do not recall seeing anyone with a beard aside from me in cali when Iv ben there, I guess people there are not as lazy as here.
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no mean like BEEEEEEAAAAAARD and long hair that hasnt been washed...Im a bit afraid of the locals... and most of them are a bit racist. I over heard a couple of guys in a grocery store talking about their less then happy thoughts about black people and gay people...so... lolI need Coffee. Thats my problem.
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I would be depressed with out coffee too, I highly rcomend you go get some, if nothing else it tastes good
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Time will only tell.Things always turn out right in the end. Don't stress it too much because that will only make it harder.
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Please don't feel like a child for posting that. It's real and it's good that you are speaking to it.If you are experiencing a real depression here is a little list that might challenge you:THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED:- Get a thorough physical exam - and level with your doctor!- Avoid alcohol. Completely.- Strive to learn about your vulnerabilites and develop ways to manage them.- Learn to distinguish between facts, beliefs, and feelings.- Challenge yourself by asking "How do I know?"- Try to exercise regularly. (Studies show that the benifit of exercising equals the benifit of medications.)- Do fun things and do them often.- Get and stay connected to others. (This might seem difficult in a new place, but even small connections can make a huge difference.)- Learn to relax.- Be goal-oriented in important areas.- Prioritize and problem solve.- Get support. Get help. Don't wait!THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE DEPRESSED:- Don't dwell on the past. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet.- Don't compare yourself to others. (Abraham Lincoln said "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your daddy was.")- Don't catastrophize - understand probabillity.- Don't leave things unsaid or unresolved.- Don't analyze too deeply. Move on.- Don't reject yourself; define your assets- Don't ignore reality. Get the facts!- Don't ignore your own needs. Self-care is not the same as selfish.- Don't give up or be passive. Try again. BUT DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!- Don't isolate. Find good people to be with.- Don't leave time unstructured.I hope that's not too much...more than you wanted. It's not just academic to me. I've experienced depression on several levels and I've learned a lot of this that way. If some of it is not clear, let me know. I'll be glad to clarify.This is real. You know that. You can't ignore it. You've got to be proactive. Which is hard when you're depressed. But you've already started that by posting here.Please let me know if I can help.
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Thanks damien I signed on for a double shift tonight (working on until 2am) I dont really sleep, so i have nothing else to do but thing and...its driving me crazy. the only person i really know here is my boss and im NOT talking to him about this. i just feel really alone. He didnt give me a chance to fix things. i feel like crawling into a hole and hiding.
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Finding things to do (like work) is definitely a positive step. I knew when I went through my major depressive episode last year, I craved things to do.As for talking to your boss, you don't have to talk to him about the depression or what's causing it. Just talk to him about anything if you have the opportunity. Talk about work, movies, kids, bunny rabbits, whatever. It's the connection that's important. Find ways to connect with people. Coffee shops, just exchanging pleasant words to the cashier at the grocery store, smiling and saying hi to children (or dirty bearded men) on the street. You will be amazed at how these seemingly simple acts help to bring you outside of yourself.
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Damien, that is a REALLY good list of do's and don’ts. I think a mod needs to copy and past that on a sticky. I think that could really help people who are feeling depressed.
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Now that you've brought it up again...I failed to attribute the list to it's source. It's not mine (although I can certainly vouch for it from experience). It came from Dr. Mike Yapko, a psychologist from California who recently spoke at the Kentucky Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. He's good.
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Things are looking up, i just got promoted which is nice. I just got a little freaked out about some of the choices ive been making lately, but I think i found a way or rather a... choice to fix everything.
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That's great Java!
Sometimes the best thing for us is just to be able to see a positive step in a right direction. I bet this won't be the last one. More to come...soon. -
Sorry for going off topic but you're going to make a great counsellor Damien. Wish I got some of that advice last year.
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Thanks Joe.You'll have those tools in your belt if there's a next time though. Right?
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In reply to:or rather a... choice to fix everything. Choice #1 - Have sex with BobChoice #2 - Die