Need some advice ;/

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Hi, you may have/may not have read my post about my anxiety problem. But it doesn't matter, I'll get to the point.Basically I got some help for my anxiety which was bothering me for some time and it's kinda working. Anyway, this woman who helps me is the most understanding person I have ever met in my life. I've never met anyone as patient and helpful as her. It all sounds good, but there's a catch. Since the first time I met her I've been crazy about her. I don't know what it is. She's just got that personality and beautiful smile that keeps me on my toes. I don't think I've ever felt so well connected to a person in my life. Everytime I see her it gets more and more like a gift, a luxury... to be with someone so unique. I think you can tell what my problem is...I'm in love :/I don't know what to do, because I'm crazy about her. She's older than me, she looks about 24 and I'm a few years younger. She's also engaged to someone which makes me feel very guilty about feeling in love with her...One time when we were having a great time together (like we always do) we were talking about me and my future as a person. She stopped smiling and her eye contact and looked at her ring. I don't know what this means, maybe she's reminded by something she dislikes? I don't know...perhaps she knows I like her and she feels sympathy? I haven't a clue. I don't know even if she knows I'm in love, I don't know if she even likes me. I don't know what to do about this. She gave the impression at the start when we first met, a very happy, cheeful person and likes my company. But as time went on, she seems less and less happy. I don't like to ask, as it's not my business. I asked one time 'how do you act so nicely to people, are you trained in a certain way? she replied: 'it makes my job easier. You know if I didn't that would be very uncomfortable'. So maybe that's the answer staring me in the face? it's her job to be so nice to the person she see's - I can understand that. But, I feel I have a special bond, a soul mate kind of feeling of some sort. I feel like a complete weirdo, but I can't help it. The more I think about it, the more depressed I feel and how stupid I feel knowing my love for her would never work.

This has been going for almost two months. It seems like a love phase. But this one is soo hard. This is the most complicated and emotional experience of love I have ever had.

Hey! I can totally understand what ur goin through. Uv got a real hard choice nd every way i think about it you or somebody else is going to get hurt. My only advice is that you have do something whether it be tell her or stop seeing her but you have to do something cos ul only get more screewed up if u leave it.

What does this woman do exactly? Is she like a phyciatrist (sp) or like just a social worker or what?(It does make a difference)

It's very common to fall in love with your therapist, notsogood. They are such nice, kind, helpful people. But you're right, it won't work. Your therapist is becoming less happy because she realises you are in love with her and she's worried about it. Her professional ethics suggest she should find you a different therapist, but she knows she is helping you a lot. I presume she looked down at her ring because it's a wedding ring and she's married, or an engagement ring and she's engaged. It was meant to be a hint to you.

Yeah I kinda thought it was a hint. And that's why I feel so guilty... Why am I in love? I can't give myself a decent answer, other than: "she's really nice and pretty."It's not right, I beat myself up over it everyday when I get home from work. I really like her and my feelings are all kept inside to myself. This is why it's so difficult.And as far as "she realises you are in love with her" is concerned, I don't really think I have let off any indication I am in love, come to think of it.I was very good actually never had I let off any sort of "lovey dovey" emotions in front of her.When you mention about her being "worried" this maybe true - if she knows that is. But what if she doesn't? if she doesn't then there must be another reason she is worried. I can see this is affecting my anxiety a little and I'm probably worrying over nothing. But, I've got to sort myself out some how.I can remember the last sesssion I had with her, she mentioned about how I was "improving" and that "for all I know I could be finished for good real soon." This seems like an indication for maybe just being on a tight schedule. But like you said it could be a "hint" about her feeling concerned about me and that it is time to let go...But if that is what she thinks/feels, then what do I do if I need further help still? I don't feel I've received enough help yet. I need more. But when I say more, is it more to be with her or is it genuine help for my anxiety? I'm so messed up with my feelings at the moment, I'm not sure what I want.

I suspect that, even if you haven't said anything, she can tell from the way you look at her.I'm afraid this is what is called a "hopeless crush". You'll just have to live with it until it eventually fades.

Ineligible, your comments shock me so much sometimes to how accurate you are. Sometimes I feel she could be a moderator for this websit HINT HINT!Seriously Ineligible, you aren't her are you? if you don't mind me asking. I just feel a little suspicious about these things...Reason I am like this is because when I first met her she knew alot about my situation before I had the chance to actually give intense detail. I roughly outlined about my anxiety to her through what I said in my anxiety thread that I posted and then she was away at knowing all the stuff. Maybe she's very experience and knows alot about people like me? I don't know.Just seems she knows too much.I apologise for being suspicious, it's just these are the sort of people that are likely to be looking at these websites in their spare time.Hope that made some sense to you in some form or another

Naw thats just Inelligable... I made a post in another area here and he made a few points about me and hit them all on dead on the head, got me to a T. Its scarey.He's a witch! (or warlock :P) Buuuurn him!!

BlushI'm not your therapist, notsogood. For a start, I'm a guy. (Looks down to check again - yes, not much, but there's something there.) It's actually easier to see these things when you're at a distance. In fact, it can be glaringly obvious to others, when it's not at all clear to you - it's the "can't see the wood for the trees" effect. Or like trying to find a name on a map that is actually spread out right across the page. When it's happening to you, you're seeing everything close up and in your face, and you can't get an overview and put it in context. That's why it helps to bring it here and put it in front of people who have no special wisdom or powers, like me, but who have the advantage of not being involved.Don't burn me, please!

so that's why you keep your long hair, Ineligible, warlock in disguise. lol

She probably has a lot of people like u infact she was probably given some training on the matter so i would say either tell her and let her decide what to do or find a new therapist

Ok. I haven't replied to this for a good while. Just to let you all know, I'm out of it. It was a phase. And it was a damn long one! At the time I guess I had some kind of love sickness, I kept thinking about her all the time. I didn't want to, but I just did. I've got over it and out of my head - thank god! I couldn't even understand why I was in love with her, she was too old for me anyway! Thanks for the support though guys!Oh and...yes it's true. When you see less of the person you're deeply in love with, sometimes it's for the good.