Friends cutting infront of you

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Hi all,

I guess that I haven't posted on her in a long time. To the point...

I have been cutting my self for what I would guess to be about a year now but I think I am not cutting as much as I did. However it still makes me angry when people make fun of people who cut or talk about it in an off hand way, like you would talk about the weather. (Thought that I should point out that no one knows that I self injure.)
In class about two weeks ago, we were sitting about not doing much in the way of work, when my friends brought up a conversation about cutting themselves and people who cut. One friend picked up a pair of scissors and put them to her hand. I couldn't look any more and walked away from them so that I would have to listen to them. (I don't think that any of my close friends cut themselves, for they do not seem to act as I would expect them to if they did, also I have never seen them with any cuts)
Then about a week later, in the same class, the conversation was brought up again. The same friend as before picked up the scissors and pulled the blade across her arm. It didn't cut because they are really blunt blades. The other friend told her that she should ask me for a compos to cut with. I felt so sick and angry.
I started cutting soon after that day.
The same friend had scratched her self before, with her nails, to see what it felt like to self injure. She said it didn't help.
It really hurts me the way they say things like this in such an of-handed way.
When a different friend saw the cut marks on my arm, I said that my cat had scratched me. She bought the excuse ever since.
I want to talk to some one that I know, some one who I can't talk to face to face. I don't trust my parents, I have left school now so no councillor, and how am I meant to talk to friends like these?

Sorry it's a long post.
Thanks
xxx

This is helpful to me, Mors_Mortis, at least to know what not to do.

Thanks for replying. I wish that other people would not have to be in the same situation that I was in then. I guess I will just see what happens in my life and see how things begin to play them selves out. I just hope that it will get better next year as I will be in to 6thform, and will be able to talk to new people (I hope)I guess that I am most worried that if I do tell any one of my friends, and I may have one that I can kind of trust, that they would just not understand because self harm, to most people, does seem to be such a foreign concept.

HUGS

ive been in a relationship with a chronic cutter for over a year now. a very bad case of self injury. you need to get real professional help right away before your problems manifest themselves in other ways in your life. cutting is your way of coping with whatever deep issues & problems you are dealing with. its not that you arent dealing with them, its that you are dealing with them in a self destructive manner, which will only make things worse, plus leave scars that will further remind you of your pain. besides injuring yourself you can also become addicted to cutting like my ex gf. the relief you will get from resolving and working on your problems with professional help will outshadow any relief you could ever get from a blade. get help now while you are young and can move on with your life.

     I am a cutter myself.  I have been cutting for about five years now but not frequently.  Just resently I burnt a huge "A" FOR MY NAME  on my left hand.  I am really asamed of myself for doing it.  People at school laught at me.  Others did not care about what I did cause they acsept me no madder what.  I blame alot of my doing this on me childhood.  Now it is even worse cause I have a alcoholic and drugy father that I HATE in every way shape and form.  But at lease I am going to a pycologist now so I can get help.