about ten years ago i was a victim of a form of rape - i was forced to give a bj at gun point. to this day it is very difficult for me to give one. there is a new guy in the picture and i wouldn't mind doing it - but when it comes down to it - i just can't make myself do it. i haven't told him why yet - its always really awkard and weird and ruins whatever mood there was. i know he wants one (hell he IS male - but its come up already) has anyone had an experience similar to this? any ideas on how to get past this? if i can avoid telling him about this - that's what i'd rather do - it seems that the few guys IRL that know about this always act differantly around me afterward. tia for any help
in my personal opinion i think it would be better to tell him because at least then he can understand why you find this so difficult you may also find this may make the mood less tense when u feel unable... i am sure if he cares for u he will wait until you are ready before going through with this .
a smile on the outside to often is saddness...
yeah, if you think your guy will be arround for a while, it's worth it to tell him the whole story. It'll let you work through it together, Even if he ends up not to be the one you spend the rest of your life with, a positive situation will go a long way to get you past the negative.btw, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. Just know that there are good men in this world too.
and there was light
first off talk to someone, whether it's a close friend, a school councelor, a church friend. It helps to get it off and out.I was raped at 8, and held it in, manicly depressed 3 suicide attempts. until I was 21, I held it in, then I talked to my then bf about it, and it took alot of that stress off. If you trust and have feelings for the guy you're with, tell him, he'll understand. If not, then he's a shallow Ass, and possibly just wanted sex. If he cares he'll understand, accept, and help you get over it. It most likely will not be instant, it takes time to let it all go, and put it behind you. I wish you all the best of luck with it.