hi, well heres the problem, there is this girl at my school who i have actualy loved for 4 years ( on and off ). we went out once b4 when we were little as i have known her for most of my life, and went out again when i was in year 10,( thats in UK school) anyway heres the problem, although i have had many other girl friends, compaired to here they are...well...in my eyes not as good, but they were really nice girls. The real prob is that my bast mate is going out with her, they have been for about 1 month. me n him are really close we talk about all our problems and stuff like that, and many a time he has been a life saver, n i gusss im the same back to him. When i found they were going out, it really, really hert me, and because i know them both very well, i couldnt tell either one of them how i felt. As time went by i got used to it, but the feelings didnt die, and then when i found out that he had fingered her, n she had tossed and sucked him off i couldnt believe it. And now i find myself not looking at her in the same way and find it really hard to tlk to her.heres my question:Am i a bad person because i dont look at her in the same way, and i kinda hate my mate becasue he went out with here, even thow he knew i liked her. i no its not my place to stop them because i cant help it if she likes him, but its getting me down latly and i just wanted to no if i was being a bad friend. i dont tlk 2 him any differently, same to her, its more my inside if you understand.any help would be great and thanks for listerning.also she has been over my house many time getting help with her history coursework and i felt happy cos i spent time with her, and we have been mates for ages so when ma mate got funny with me, everyone thourght it was childish because we were just doing coursework ( we really were ) but he ignored us all day, so im reluctant to see her although we are good mates. Do you think he was being childish by denying us meeting? we always met after she had been over his house so...
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Am i a bad person fo feeling this?
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You are not a bad person, you feel jealous because your friend has the girl that you wanted for a long time, but in all fairness, you had your chance twice. What went wrong with your relationship with her?I think that you don't look at her the same because you had built up the picture of her being perfect and without fault. To know that she did something like giving him a blowjob tainted your view of her and she suddenly wasn't as perfect as you thought. Also there may be a feeling that because in your head she was so perfect that you subconsciously believe that she may not have wanted to do the sexual acts, hence adding a feeling of dislike for your friend.And about your friend's reaction to you and her hanging out. Yes that was a bit immature of him and shows that he doesn't really trust the two of you. Not great of him if he wants his relationship to work.
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I would have reacted similarly.You need to own your feelings, rather that judging them. What you do with them may be good or bad. What you don't do with them may be good or bad.You respect your friends enough to not interfer. Now balance that with sharing these feelings with them. Without that, consider your friendships over.
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Thanks you two, i think you are rite bob, i do see her as this perfect gal, shes funny, beautiful and shes down to earth if you understand what i mean. As regards to the two relationships, the 1st 1 was when i was young, like 8 and the second 1 was more recent but it didnt work cos i guss i was a lil imature back then and didnt no how to approach a girl ( if you see what i mean ) or confedence soz i cant spell lol, thank you again for your advice, and im getting over her now. i no it will be a long while but i think in a way its a good thing because i now that not all girls are what they seem and that there are other girls out there just like her and possibly even better. thanks again mates
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mate try not to get yourself down ive just had nearly the same problem bt im in year 9 it realy hurts u dont want to say nothing because you fell like your going to hurt someones feelingsit hurts on the inside bt you don't act anydifferant its a realy hard situation to be ini dnt know wat to do either------------------------------sorry if u cant read my writingi speak "slang"hitman
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yeah cheers mate, thanks for all ya advice everyone it has helped alot. to be honest with you, she is so fit and everything but i recon it will be better to be mates and have that friendship last for a long time, rather than go out, and it get all awkward. dont get me wrong i'd prefer to go out lol but this way i feel beta.cheers again everyone